Ponies and A Half
by God of Physics
Summary: Based On Emma Iveli's Ponies One Half. Watch after a botched teleportation spell, the Mane 6 have fallen into Jusenkyo. Meeting another resident of their world they follow Ranma to JAPAN! Watch as they attempt to stay under the radar attempting to go home. Then again, home might be coming to them.
1. Here Come Ranma (And Co)

_My take on Emma Iveli's awesome fanfiction: Ponies One Half._

_I'll just be adding an OC and some other weirdass stuff that only I have come up with._

_So...(Looks around.) I never actually thought you would read up to line 3 so without further ado._

_(Bang!) The fricking Shogun comes out with a gun._

_LET US BEGIN!(Seriously weirdass stuff.)_

* * *

><p>Furinkan was a section of the Nerima Ward of Tokyo, it was peaceful and calm unlike a nearby section…which will go unnamed. It was a peaceful day despite the rain. However, the peace was destroyed by a panda fighting two teenage girls. The third one walked on shyly behind.<p>

"Is that a panda?" asked a young woman.

"Why is it fighting girls?" asked a man.

"Hey it's a Kung Fu Panda!" said a teenaged boy.

"Oh god no! The madness of Tomobiki is spreading!" yelled an old man. The old man promptly suffered a heart attack. The shy third girl ran over to him to help him.

However, most people just ignored the fighting. They did not know this was the start of an age of weirdness( as the old man predicted.)

"You could've just waited!" said one girl as she punched the panda. She had blue eyes, red hair tied into a very short pigtail, and wore traditional Chinese clothing.

"But no…I had to do this engagement now!" This girl punched the panda right in the face; he staggered, but then countred. The girl blocked it with ease.

The Panda held up a sign that said, "But the honor of both schools…"

The second girl kicked the panda. She had long black hair with pink streaks in it that was mostly worn down, purple eyes, and for some odd reason her hands were glowing purple. Also she looked very Japanese, but didn't speak like one.

"WE HAD A DEAL! You should've brought us," said the second. She swung her fist at the panda, who quickly busted out another sign.

"How did you even get here so fast?" signed the panda.

"Do we really have to explain?" asked the second one as she gave the panda an uppercut, sending him flying.

The panda blinked, "No… I guess not," it signed, "And what am I going to tell Soun?"

"The truth," said the first girl as she delivered a sharp kick to the panda, knocking it into a wall.

The panda looked at its two opponents. While the second girl wasn't nearly as skilled as the first, he still felt the pain from those aura covered hands. The panda needed a way to get to its location while bringing only the redhead.

The panda looked around as the two girls surround him, and seemed to show worry on his face. Each of the girls cracked their knuckles and smirk. Suddenly, the panda noticed a tall light pole, grabbed it, and did a Neo-style spin around it, kicking the four girls as he did so; the boy who had made the Kung Fu Panda joke yelled, "RIP-OFF!".

The panda quickly bonked the pigtailed girl on the noggin with the light pole, knocking her out. Hefting her on his shoulder, he gave the other girls a raspberry, and ran for it!

The black haired girl shouted,"DAMMIT! IF ONLY RAINBOW DASH WAS HERE!" No way could she keep up with him.

Before she could make to start a voice shouted," WAIT!"

She whirls around saying,"WHAT!"Looking behind him and not seeing what she was looking for she continues with," YOU ASSHOLE!"

The Asian boy with the glasses, brown eyes, and short silver hair shrugs and says,"They're at the mall right now. Just so you know, I have a tracking device for him." Looking around, he notices something,"Where's Ryoga and them?"

The third aforementioned girl had sea blue eyes, long pink hair a shade lighter than fuschia, and wore a yellow turtleneck sweater depicting three pink butterflies on it, as well as a pink skirt. Around her arms was a black piglet that wore a yellow bandanna with small black chevrons. It gives an angry squeal.

"Where are the other two?"

More squeals. The third girl with pink butterflies begins to whisper in the boys ear. After a while, a reaction.

"WHAT!?"

A sad long squeal.

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET LOST IN AMAZON!? AND THAT THEY ARE STUCK THERE ABOUT TO BE SACRIFICED!? MOST IMPORTANTLY HOW DID YOU GET BACK HERE WITHOUT THEM!?"

Rapid angry squeals, indignant at the false accusations.

"Fine... Fine... Not your fault... I know. Sheesh... I'm surprised you're not famous yet.

Handing the girl with the black hair, he disappears in a flash of silvery smoke with two girls reappearing behind coughing in the smoke.

The first had violet eyes, and dark indigo hair with two streaks colored pink and purple. She wore jeans, a white blouse, and a purple sweater vest over it, which depicted a hot pink star surrounded by five smaller white ones.

The second had cyan eyes, fuchsia pink poofy hair, and wore a cotton candy pink dress that depicted three balloons (two blue, one yellow) on the skirt. Her figure was, "bouncy," for lack of a better term.

Looking around," Where are we?"

The black girl mutters," He's good." Then the four(five counting the sentient pig) set off to find the dojo.

* * *

><p>At the destination, a man in his forties gathered his three daughters to discuss something important. He had shoulder length hair, a mustache, and wore a brown gi. His name was Soun Tendo, and he was the owner of the Tendo Dojo of Anything Goes Martial Arts.<p>

Kasumi was the eldest, a gentle homemaker with long brown hair kept in a ponytail.

Nabiki was the middle sister, an extremely greedy young woman who ran several black markets in school as well as ran the school's betting system. She had shoulder length brown hair.

The youngest was Akane, the only one training in the family art and a tomboy. She had long blue-ish black hair which she usually wore in a low ponytail. All three sisters had brown eyes.

Soun was telling them about Ranma, the son of his old training partner Genma Saotome. And one of them would enter an arranged marriage with him. While Kasumi and Nabiki seemed interested, Akane wasn't. She hated boys. Then again, who can blame her when she gets mobbed by a bunch of them every day because they wanted to date her?

That was when they heard someone yell "Put me down!" from down the hall.

"Oh, is that him?" asked Nabiki.

"Genma!" cried Soun in joy.

Both of them went to welcome their guests. In came the panda carrying the redhead.

"Daddy? Is that your friend?" asked Nabiki in a sarcastic tone.

Soun was in a state of panic, clearly not expecting him. "I have no idea what a panda is doing here."

All that Kasumi could come up with was an "Oh my…" as the panda placed the girl on the floor.

"You wouldn't be…," said Soun.

"I'm Ranma Saotome…" said the redhead. "Sorry 'bout this."

Before Soun could hug Ranma and call her son in law, the panda suddenly went flying into the air.

"My spine!" signed the panda as he crashed into the wall and collapsed.

Everyone sweat dropped… then looked at the rainbow haired girl who apparently made the panda fly; her leg was moving down from a kicking position. The girl smirked.

"Nice one, Ran," said Ranma.

"No problem," replied the rainbow haired girl. Apparently, Ran was her name. The two high-fived at Ran's handiwork.

"You two wouldn't happen to be sisters, would you?" asked Nabiki.

"No," replied Ran with a shrug. "I just happen to have a similar name."

"Her name is based on the English word 'ran'," said Ranma.

"The one who gave me that name thought it would be a good pun."

"You don't mean your parents, do you?", inquired Akane. She was confused, and it showed.

"Never mind."

"So…where are the others?" asked Ranma.

"Right here," said the silver haired boy as he seemingly appeared from nowhere. If you noticed the small silvery smoke that came with his appearance, you would think of that blue guy who teleports in X-Men.

This surprised the Tendos (save for Kasumi for some reason), although Ranma and Ran didn't react similarly.

"How did you do that?" Akane wanted to know.

"When you get as old as me, then you can pick up a few things." This earns a slap on the head from a black haired girl with a book.

"Is everything all right?" asked the fuchsia haired girl…popping out from…somewhere…and scaring the Tendos again (and again with the exception of Kasumi).

"Is she your student?" Akane asked the silver haired boy.

"No…" he replied. "I have no idea how she does that."

"We all decided to stop questioning it a long time ago…" said Ran.

"By the way… Who are you?" Akane asked

Before any of the newcomers could answer, a voice came.

"Hello, is everyone here?" it said.

That was when the rest of their companions arrived.

"Sorry for entering like this." apologized the indigo haired girl.

"Now what is going on here?" asked Soun.

"By the way, daddy…" Nabiki cut in.

"Yes?"

"Ranma is a girl." Nabiki then poked one of Ranma's breasts to prove her point.

"Please don't do that," said Ranma.

Soun fainted… maybe it was the panda, maybe it was the fact the boy he always waited for was a girl… either way he went down.

"Oh my," said Kasumi.

"Is he all right?" asked the girl in the yellow sweater.

"He's just being overly dramatic." assured Nabiki.

"I am in a lot of pain, please someone help me," signed the panda as he lay on the wall he was kicked into.

As the silver haired boy walks over, he smiles sadistically and says," Don't worry", cracking his knuckles,"I'm a certified doctor."

The panda signs,"Help." As the Silver Doctor begins his work.

* * *

><p>Sometime later… Soun had regained consciousness, but he wasn't moving as he broke down to tears.<p>

"Some fiancé this turned out to be," snarked Nabiki as she poking Ranma's breast once again. "How can we marry her…"

"He told me he had a son," lamented Soun.

The indigo haired girl was about to say something when the silver haired boy silenced her with a shake of the head. Albeit he seemed to be holding back laughter.

"Now's not the time," he whispered. Then he had to use the bathroom for reasons other than the common 1 & 2 and the slightly less common 3.

The indigo haired girl nodded, knowing that someone else would have to explain everything.

Just then, Kasumi came into the room with tea for everyone. "So you are Ranma's friends?" she asked.

"You could say that," replied the first purple haired girl.

"The rest of us are just traveling with Ranma until we can find our way back home," explained the indigo haired girl, "We're also helping hi...er, her... with a problem."

"It's a really, really, really super long story," said the fuchsia haired girl so as to stop any questions.

"If someone only read the book correctly…" muttered Ran.

"I did read it correctly!", retorted the indigo haired girl. "I just put too much power into it!"

"Please stop fighting," whispered the girl in the yellow sweater. Ran quickly walked up to the indigo-haired girl, not happy at all.

"Yeah, everything's over and done with," said Ranma as she broke up what might've become a heated argument. "Besides it's already been a month."

"Fine…" muttered Ran as she turned away.

"You should introduce yourselves, girls," suggested the silver haired boy as he took a sip of tea.

The six girls took the hint.

"I guess I should reintroduce myself," said Ran. "Ran Issanni."

Kasumi giggled, then said, "Sorry. It's just that you told us your parents named you Ran based on the English word… Which means you have the need for speed." Everyone of the room sat in silence at the incredibly bad joke. In the distance, a cricket chirped.

"I made the same joke when I first heard it!" said the fuchsia haired girl. "Oh, I'm Momo Mochi!"

"My… my name is Chiyo Onbin," the girl in the yellow sweater whispered, although it was loud enough for the family to hear.

Momo then turned her head to the piglet Chiyo was holding. "Oh, the piggy's name is Ryoga," she then said. The pig oinked a hello.

"I am Belle Perle," said the second purple haired girl, the one who was very stylish.

"You're from France?" asked Nabiki.

"Um… yes…" Belle looked like she was lying as she said that.

"You're from America, right?" Akane asked the blonde girl.

"Um...yes," she replied nervously. "Alex Jackson."

" Zhang Bao Tang," the silver haired boy bows," thank you for having us. Oh and call me Zhang."

"And I'm Hikaru Hakumei," introduced the indigo haired girl.

And you're all going to be staying here?" inquired Nabiki.

"If you don't mind," said Zhang.

"Why?!" cried Soun.

"You know… I'm not sure if we can afford all of you," said Nabiki.

"Once we get settled in, you don't have to worry, darling," assured Belle.

"Really, how?"

Belle pointed to her dress, which was very beautiful, white, and had a mark depicting three blue diamonds on it. "I made this myself," she explained.

Nabiki blinked as she admired the dress. "Really? That's impressive." Already, she was thinking of buying something similar.

"Also, you are speaking to the world's second best investor," Zhang proclaims proudly.

Nabiki who is the world's first says," I'm the first." As she leaves, Zhang shrugs and says," Well, I always wondered who was the first."

"So…" Akane spoke up looking at Ranma, "I guess you and Ran study martial arts."

"Yeah," Ran answered for her.

"Do either of you want to spar?"

Zhang says,"I will."

Akane looks at the skinny boy with no muscles, no threatening aura, and above all lack of discipline says," Are you sure?"

"No I'm not sure. Why else would I volunteer to fight a flat chested girl?" The silver haired boy jokes with a straight face.

Akane smiles as a black aura emanates from her."Oh I don't know."

Zhang smiles as he sweats in the back uncontrollably, thinks, My luck with woman is as bad as ever. That's good. I would have begun to think the world liked me.

"Um… can you tell me a place where I can have some privacy?" Hikaru asked the Tendos.

"Sure," offered Kasumi as she then led Hikaru out of the room.

Meanwhile, Akane pointed most of their visitors to the Dojo so she could get ready.

"Why, a daughter?!" Soun continued to cry.

"What a drama queen," sighed Belle, earning her a look from Alex, Ran, Momo, Chiyo, and Ryoga, the latter of which oinked in disapproval.

_Hypocrite,_ the other four thought.

* * *

><p>In the dojo, the visitors waited for Akane to change into her gi.<p>

"Are you ready?" the youngest of the Tendos asked, who then noticed Ranma, Ran, Alex, and Momo watching. For some reason, Momo had a box with red and white stripes holding popcorn...

"Where did she get the popcorn?" she thought out loud.

Ranma, Alex, and Ran shrugged. It was best not to know.

She shook her head and paid attention to Zhang. And the spar began.

Akane yelled "Take this!" She charged towards Zhang with a punch; Zhang just ducked it, and hit her with a trip, saying, "You're too rushed calm down."

Akane fumed, and simply went berserk; SZhang simply dodged, blocked, or deflected every move. Akane eventually fell down on one knee, panting. She then screamed, "DARN IT!" Going for a roundhouse kick, Zhang simply leaped over her, and tapped her in the back, knocking Akane down for the count.

"Zhang wins.", as the silver haired boy does a very badly timed victory dance.

Akane says with a scowl, "This is the first time I lost."

"You mad?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't I fight Ranma?" Zhang already taking in the fact that she hates boys, motions at Ranma to get out.

Akane then shouts," I want a rematch without you dodging."

Zhang says," Ok..."

* * *

><p><span><strong>5 Minutes Later<strong>

A body lays twitching on the floor. Akane then kicks the body over to the wall and points at Ranma.

"I want to fight you!"

Ranma says arrogantly," Sure."

Momo still munching the popcorn says," Ooh this is going to be good."

Ran says,"This is going to be bad."

Zhang who is still twitching says," Pass the popcorn Momo."

* * *

><p><span><strong>5 Minutes Later(Again)<strong>

Akane who is graciously accepting defeat this time, says,"I'm happy."

Ranma asks," Why?"

"Because you're a girl." Glares at Zhang." And not a boy.

So saying she leaves.

Ran mutters,"This is bad."

Ranma agrees and says," Yes it is."

Only Zhang and Momo are laughing.

"What?"

"Nothing."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in another room… Hikaru sat alone, her hands glowing with a purple aura. Floating in-between them was a vial of water. Her eyes were closed as she concentrated on the vial. Just then, the door to the room opened. Hikaru lost her concentration and dropped the vial, but she caught it before it could fall to the floor.<p>

"Isn't that vial supposed to unbreakable?", asked the person who opened the door.

That person was a middle-aged man in a white gi, he wore glasses and a bald cap.

"Yes, but you still broke my concentration," replied Hikaru.

"I'm going to explain about myself and Ranma. But I'm leaving it up to you and your friends to explain your thing."

"I understand." Hikaru sighed.

"By the way, why are you still a human? Isn't your magic stronger as…THAT?"

Hikaru glared at the man. "I found it easier to analyze the water in my cursed form, even if my magic is weaker."

"I see. But remember the deal; you cure us and we provide you with a place to stay."

"I know, I know. You don't have to remind me." Hikaru let out another sigh.

"I'm going to explain it to Soun." With that, he slammed the door behind him.

As the man left, Hikaru sighed. _I'm having second thoughts on helping that jerk... Ranma, though... At least Ranma was a friend._

* * *

><p>Upstairs, Kasumi led Chiyo to the bathroom.<p>

"Thank you for letting us…I mean me take a bath.", Chiyo said as she avoided Kasumi's gaze.

Kasumi smiled at the shy girl, "It's no problem at all." She then went downstairs to the kitchen to prepare dinner as she was expecting a lot of people.

"By the way, besides Ranma and Shampoo, the other girls are vegetarians," Zhang notified her, appearing out of nowhere once again, sipping a cup of tea.

"Really? Why?"

"You'll see." Zhang then gave a mysterious smile. "Oh, and I would expect one more guest. One who doesn't eat pork."

Kasumi blinked, unsure what Zhang meant.

* * *

><p>In the dojo, Akane watched Ran and Ranma have their own spar. To say those two were on a different level as her would be a complete and utter understatement. She could barely see Ran's movements, almost a blur. Meanwhile, Ranma was using any advantage she could get to counter Ran's pure speed.<p>

"No wonder that's her name," Akane whispered. She then turned to Momo, who was now eating out of a bag of cookies. "Where did you get those?"

Momo shrugged, "I don't know."

"It's best you don't know.", said Alex as she also watched the spar. "I've known her for years and I don't know where she gets her snacks… or those other things about her…"

Akane sweat dropped, not wanting to know what that meant.

Akane also says," And was Ranma that good."

Zhang who again appears this time with two cups of milk, says,"Yes."

Before Akane says anything he says," I'm sorry."

Giving a glass of milk to Momo, he takes a cookie and dips it in.

As it dissolves so does Akane's animosity to Zhang.

* * *

><p>After the spar,(which Ranma won by catching Ran off guard, using her speed to knock her into the wall.), Akane went into the kitchen, where Kasumi was preparing the food. "Kasumi, is the bath ready?" asked Akane.<p>

"Chiyo is using it," said Kasumi.

"Do you think she'll mind?"

_The girl was very shy, and she barely said anything,_ Kasumi thought, unsure. "I don't know…" she responded.

"Maybe this will allow her to open up more."

Kasumi sighed and—in the end—didn't stop her youngest sister as she decided to go upstairs to join Chiyo in the bath.

* * *

><p>In the bathroom… there was a naked teenaged boy and a yellow Pegasus that was 4 feet tall. She had a marking on her flank depicting three pink butterflies. Neither was looking at each other and both were blushing.<p>

"You can look at me if you want," said the Pegasus, "There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I know," responded the teenage boy who was wearing the bandana the pig was wearing (though on his head instead of his neck), "But… it's just that…"

That was when the door opened and in walked a naked Akane. She stared at the odd sight, blinking her eyes. She then closed the door… just as the boy got a nosebleed that shot out like a geyser.

"Oh no… oh no… what am I going to do?" cried the Pegasus.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Akane put the top of her gi, left the bathroom area, walked down the stairs…then finally screamed. Almost everyone in the building came to see what was wrong with her.<p>

"Akane, what's wrong?" Kasumi asked.

"There's a naked man and a horse with wings in the bathroom!" she cried out.

"He's naked?" gasped Momo, "That must mean he'll need his clothes!"

And with that, Momo ran up the stairs. Akane looked at Momo and decided it would be best to ignore her. If she wanted to clothe a strange horse obsessed psychopath, it's her own fault.

"Are you sure you weren't seeing things?" Kasumi asked.

"Maybe there's a gas leak," said Nabiki.

"I swear it! I saw a yellow horse with wings!" insisted Akane, "And a naked man!"

"The term is Pegasus," corrected Ran, seemingly defensive about it.

"I don't care what the term is! There's something strange going on in the bathroom."

"Well since you saw one them, I don't have to have Hikaru explain it, then." said the strange man, who was holding a copper kettle. He eyed Ran… as if he wanted revenge for something. Something that involved a flying kick to the spine.

"You don't think he's angry about what happened earlier?", asked Alex.

The man threw that kettle at Ran.

"I think that answers your question." Said Ranma giving a half lidded stare at the man.

The four Tendos stared at Ran… well at where Ran stood. Much like the Pegasus that was in the bathroom, there stood another, who was now in Ran's clothes. However, this one was sky blue and had a rainbow mane.

"That's it!", yelled the Pegasus, who took off and tackled the man. As the two fought, only the Tendos watched in surprise; everyone else acted like it was nothing.

"Rainbow Dash! Please take off your clothes!", scolded Belle. "I don't want you to ruin my hard work!"

Ranma sighed and said, "Hey… A.J., Twi, Zhang… you want to help me with the rest of the hot water? Because I think we're going to need a lot to explain all this."

"Of course," agreed Alex.

"Fine…" muttered Hikaru.

"I think I should help with Akane," said Zhang.

"What do you mean help with Akane?" asked Ranma.

It was then they noticed Akane had fainted.

"That would probably be a good idea," agreed Hikaru with a sweat drop.

That was when the Pegasus from the bathroom along with the boy (now with tissues in his nose) and another, well…for lack of a better term…pony came down the stairs.

"Well it seems like everyone found out," said the new pony. Her coat was cotton candy pink, her hair was hot pink and poofy, and she had a marking on her flank depicting three balloons.

Soun did what he usually did: cry. Sure, he could handle what Genma had told him about the curses, but he still had no idea what the two from China and these girls…were… And indeed, the seemingly normal lives of the Tendo Family ended that day.

* * *

><p><strong><span>And don't worry I have permission from the author to use her idea. Just saying. Here are the names for the Mane 6. Also I'm bored as hell so please check out my other story that I lacked all motivation to continue until a review comes. AGAIN!<span>**

**Twilight Sparkle: Hikaru Hakumei**

**Pinkie Diane Pie:Momo**

**AppleJack: Alexandria(Alex)**

**FlutterShy: Chiyo**

**Rarity: Belle Perle**

**Rainbow Dash: Ran Issani**

**Please review/Favorite/Follow.**

**Thank you to Emma Iveli's gracious allowance of this fanfiction's existence.**

**Off to a slow start, but I promise it will get better as it goes along.**

**Thank you!**

**(Seiza Bow)**


	2. Explanations are Due

**Madmen never rest.**

**That includes me. I actually rest a lot, but madmen are also never consistent.**

**NEW CHAPPIE!**

* * *

><p>Akane woke up, she shook her head to get her sense of balance. She saw Kasumi looking at her and offering a hand, she took it and sat up.<p>

"Oh Kasumi, I had the strangest dream," she said, "I dreamt that dad told us one of us was going to have a fiancé who turned out to be a girl who was in the company of other girls and one of them turned into a horse."

"No dream." a voice came. Akane turned to see Zhang sitting next to Kasumi.

Akane held her head and felt like crying. Furinkan isn't supposed to be like this! All the weirdness is supposed to be in the next area over (AKA Tomobiki)... Not here!

"They're going to tell us what's going on," explained Kasumi.

* * *

><p>Akane, Zhang, and Kasumi all went downstairs to the living room. She saw that the man from earlier was sitting next to a boy who wore the same clothes as Ranma, and even had the same hairstyle. However, he wasn't a redhead but a brunette. Next to Ranma were…more ponies beyond the three from earlier... and a silver dragon all coiled up. Akane now had a better look at them and noticed that their manes… were the same style and colors as the girls.<p>

Not only that, but not all of them had wings. The ponies who were presumably Hikaru and Belle were unicorns, while the ones that were presumably Momo and Alex had neither wings nor horns (and for some reason, the Alex pony still had her hat). Next to the pony she assumed was Chiyo (and the one she saw in the bathroom) was the boy she saw… who looked away from Akane while blushing bright red. Akane glances at the dragon who is sipping tea again.

She noticed that the star pattern that was on Hikaru's sweater vest was on the Hikaru pony's flank. The Belle pony's flank depicted three diamonds, and the Alex pony's three apples.

The strange man walks in and begins to say.

"We should all properly introduce ourselves," he said, "My name is Genma Saotome, and this is my son…"

"Ranma," said the boy.

"You don't need to know about the ponies... and the dragon, hopefully they will be gone soon… and…"

Suddenly, the dragon whacked him on the head, mainly to prevent another fight from breaking loose between him and the Ran pony, who looked ready to charge. Akane noticed that the pony's flank depicted the same lightning-bolt shaped rainbow that was on her shirt.

"What…the…HECK...is going on?" asked Akane.

"A multitude of things that not anyone of us fully understand, my dear Akane," Brandon says.

"How do I explain it?" said Genma. Faster than anyone can react he throws Ranma in.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" asked Ranma, now with red hair.

Genma looks off into the distance, crying," Why!?"

Hikaru's horn glows purple immobilizing him with the same purple aura. Then three feet connect with his neck, spine, and head. silver dragon laughs as he kicks him in. The Ran pony and Ranma look at him strangely.

"What?"

"nothing..."

The Genma Panda glared at the Hikaru pony and produced another sign that said, "Everything went wrong ever since you showed up!"

"Without her, I'd be dead right now!" countered Ranma.

"You owe the others nothing!" The two then charged and started fighting.

"You know…let's just ignore him," said the Ran Pony as she shrugged.

"He causes nothing but problems," agreed Zhang with a nod of his head.

As Zhang closed the door to the garden, the panda signed, "…"

The Tendos processed what just happened.

"Daddy, your friend is weird," remarked Nabiki.

"He wasn't always like that," said Soun.

"It all happened when we first went to China," sighed Ranma.

* * *

><p><em>-Flashback-<em>

_Ranma and Genma were heading to a legendary training ground. And they arrived a place where there were bamboo poles stuck out of many pools._

_"Sirs!" a squat old man in a Chinese military uniform was trying to stop the two. Apparently, his duty was to guard the pools and he also served as a guide. "Please listen."_

_However, the two didn't as they began to train, sparring in midair and landing on the poles. As they did, Ranma managed to knock his father into one of the pools._

_"Is that all you got?" asked Ranma. That was when something surfaced. It wasn't Genma, but a panda. "What the—?!"_

_"Sir fall into Spring of Drowned Panda." explained the guide. "Tragic story of a panda who drowned 2000 year ago. Now, whoever falls take body of a panda."_

_The now Panda Genma got back up and they continued to fight. During that, Panda Genma managed to kick Ranma into another pool. When he surfaced, he was now a redhead female version of himself. He looked down and saw that he now had boobs. Obviously, Ranma didn't take it well._

_"Sir, you fall into spring of drowned girl." Said the guide. "Tragic story of girl who drowned there 1500 year ago. Now, whoever falls take body of a girl."_

_"YOU IDIOT!" Ranma cried out._

_-End Flashback-_

* * *

><p>The Tendos stared at Ranma once he finished. "Pop only read about the place in a guide book… which was in Chinese." An awkward silence followed.<p>

"His dad is an idiot," said the Ran Pony.

"Frankly, he's worse than my father," remarked the Belle pony.

"Come on, Rarity!" replied the Momo pony. "It's not so bad. I actually like your dad."

The Belle pony groaned.

"Perhaps we should go in order from how we joined Ranma," suggested Zhang, "Which means it's our turn, girls."

The Hikaru pony sighed, then said, "As you can guess, the names we gave you as humans aren't our real names."

"So what are your real names, then?" asked Akane

"Rainbow Dash," said the Ran Pony.

"Rarity," answered the Belle pony.

"Fluttershy…" The Chiyo pony.

"Name's Applejack." The Alex Pony.

"Pinkie Pie!" yelled the Momo pony as she bounced happily.

" Silver Storm," the Silver Dragon once again says sipping a cup of tea.

"And I am Twilight Sparkle," said the Hikaru pony.

The last one made Nabiki laugh maniacally. "Sorry… it's just that there's a book called Twilight about vampires…" she then apologized.

"And they sparkle…" finished Twilight as she 'grabbed' a drink. "I know… I've been hearing it the past month."

"They took on those names so they wouldn't seem like they were the children of hippies," explained Cologne.

"Well, they are cute names," said Kasumi.

"So what are you exactly?" asked Nabiki. "…Colorful talking ponies aren't normal after all."

"Well, do you believe in alternate universes?" asked Twilight.

Soun, Nabiki, Akane stared blankly at them.

Kasumi simply smiled and said, "Oh, and you live in a universe filled with talking ponies? How wonderful."

"Then how did you get from that universe to ours…and why do you change into girls?" asked Nabiki.

Twilight sighed. "Well…"

_-Flashback-_

_In the universe where Equestria is…_

_Twilight and her friends were in the Book and Branches Library in the town of Ponyville. The purple unicorn was explaining to her friends about a mass, long-range teleportation spell she learned about._

_"Are you sure this will get us to Canterlot?" asked Rarity._

_"I'm sure it will," said Twilight as she put down the book she was reading, which covered how the spell worked._

_"I'm still a little nervous about this, Twi," Applejack voiced her doubts._

_"Don't worry. I sent a letter to Princess Celestia about this. Should anything go wrong, she'll be on it."_

_"Sounds like fun!" said Pinkie as she bounced up and down. "Is anyone else excited?"_

_Nopony answers her as Twilight's horn then glowed as she worked her magic. In a flash of light, the six ponies were gone._

_But they didn't end up in Canterlot. Instead, they ended up in another universe altogether._

_When they emerged from the teleportation, they were a couple of feet above a pool of water. Nopony was able to react in time as they all fell in._

_When they all surfaced, Twilight was the first to speak. "Is everypony okay?" she asked. Just as she received their confirmation, she noticed something off. She tried to exit the pool, but fell down. She looked at her hooves, only to see hands. She looked towards her friends…only to see five other girls. She walked to the spring, and saw her reflection. The girls then screamed their lungs out!_

_Seconds ago, in a nearby house, Ranma and Genma learned the trigger of the curse from the guide. Cold water means they turned into their cursed forms (a girl or panda) and hot water changes them back._

_"Why didn't you tell us?" asked Ranma._

_"You no listen when I try to warn," said the guide. That was when they heard the screaming. "Looks like there more cursed." He then proceeded to leave the house, the two Saotomes joining him._

_Upon arrival to the pools, which was where the guide was going to, they saw six girls about Ranma's age screaming for various reasons…_

_Well, one of them wasn't as she poked her breasts. Of course, these were the transformed ponies._

_"Where are my wings?!" cried the now human Rainbow Dash._

_"My wings are gone too," said the now human Fluttershy._

_"What the hay's going on here?" yelled the now Human Applejack._

_"Wow… these are really weird squishy things…I like them!" said the now human Pinkie Pie, who was the one poking at her breasts._

_That was when the now human Twilight saw the guide, Ranma, and Genma._

_"Why do I have feeling it going to be tough day?" the guide muttered quietly to himself._

_"Um… hi…" said Ranma as he blushed madly._

_"Hi there!" said Pinkie as she jumped up and down, her breasts jiggling like crazy._

"Due to the magical nature of the Equestrian language, we're able to understand any language here…" Twilight explained in the present. "Although only I knew that at the time, being Princess Celestia's student and all."

"Who's this Princess Celestia?" asked Akane.

"We haven't gotten a chance to tell them about her yet." reminded Rarity. Twilight smiled in embarrassment after that.

_After several minutes of silence, the now humanized ponies followed the guide to his house, where he informed them of the curse._

_Considering the day they had, Ranma and Genma somehow weren't surprised by the talking ponies._

_"So, what do you think happened?" asked Applejack._

_"It's entirely possible that we wound up in another universe," answered Twilight._

_"What?" asked Rarity with a sweat drop._

_"I agree… and it's has to be an anime universe since we can sweat drop and do other fun things with our faces!" said Pinkie._

_"What is she talking about?" asked Ranma._

_"Don't ask." said Applejack._

_"Yeah," agreed Rainbow Dash. "You'll just get confused."_

_Suddenly, the sink suddenly broke and started spraying water everywhere, activating everyone's curses. All the now-human ponies sans Pinkie started blushing._

_"That's it…" growled Ranma-Chan, "I'm going to KILL YOU, old man!"_

_With that, the boy-turned-girl chased the man-turned-panda._

_"I go get clothes for you!" said the guide as he managed to cap the sink. "Why that thing break so much, I have no idea."_

_-End flashback-_

"And that's how we met Ranma and his father," finished Twilight.

The Tendos were silent as they took all of this in.

"Don't worry, I assure you everything's going to seem normal from here on out," said Zhang.

"Yeah… it's kind of hard to top talking magical ponies form another universe," agreed Nabiki.

"Or is it?" The dragon says calmly.

The Tendos then turned to face the dragon China.

"I bet you want to know how I factor into all this," guessed Silver Storm. The Tendos nodded in affirmation since of all their visitors, Silver Storm was the (in)sanest of them all.

_-Flashback-_

_A pure white dragon helps a duo of alicorns fight agains a draconequus._

_The white alicorn shouts," Silver Storm buy us time!"_

_"Gotcha."_

_Buying them time to set up the elements of harmony, he fights it alone._

_Flicking a finger, it freezes him._

_"Got you now."_

_"You'll never get away with this Discord."_

_Laughing, Discord waggles a finger," But I have."_

_"NO YOU HAVE NOT!" The black alicorn proclaims with three gems surrounding her._

_" IN THE NAME OF THE ELEMENTS WE BANISH YOU!" The white alicorn shouts likewise with three gems surrounding her._

_As Discord begins to turn to stone, he laughs._

_"HA! Then let me take something of yours also."_

_Flicking a finger he sends a stream of black smoke at the dragon freezing him. He smiles warmly at the alicorns before disappearing in a rip in space._

_-End Flashback-_

Silence on all surrounding him.

"That was sad." Kasumi says as she wipes her eye.

Twilight asks, "But how come I never heard of you?"

Silver Storm asks scratching his head," Didn't I tell you when we first met?"

"No... You didn't."

"I guess I didn't. Tell you later then."

All sweat drop at this last comment.

"So, what about him?" said Akane as she stared at Ryoga.

"My name is Ryoga Hibiki…" he introduced himself. "I went to middle school with Ranma… and I'm sorry! I didn't mean to peek at you!" He then blushed bright red.

Akane sweat dropped as he continued to apologize. "It's okay…" forgave Akane, "I should have knocked…"

"Actually, Ryoga was the next to join our group," said Ranma.

"I guess I should explain why I went to China…" said Ryoga. "Ranma and I met in junior high school. Everyday, we fought over who got the last loaf of bread. Ranma always manage to beat me. I had enough, and challenged him to a fight. The fight was supposed to take place in my backyard."

"However, Ryoga has no sense of direction at ALL!" said Ranma.

"How bad is it?" Nabiki asked sarcastically.

Ranma said," You don't want to know."

Ryoga says defensively," I'm not that bad."

Zhang shouts out peeved," IT TOOK HIM A WEEK TO GET HERE! A WEEK!" He stands up and begins to flicker in and out. Akane looks at him strangely. Suddenly, he disappears into a stream of smoke and enters into the dragon." HE NOT ONLY GOES IN A BLATANT U-TURN! HE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO GET BOTH RAINBOW DASH AND APPLEJACK LOST AND I HAD TO BRING THEM BACK! THEY WERE ABOUT TO BE EATEN I TELL YOU! EATEN!" The dragon coils up in a huff.

Pinkie breaks the silence by saying,"Umm, Lets get the flashback started then."

_-Flashback-_

_Ryoga trekked though the mountains, right at the exact location of Jusenkyo. He then saw a panda (Genma) running towards him. He managed to dodge him. However…_

_"Come back, here old man!" yelled a voice._

_Before he knew it, a young woman with red hair (Ranma) accidently kicked him off a cliff… a cliff that overlooked Jusenkyo. Ryoga fell into one of the springs… changing him into…something that wasn't human._

_Nearby, the human Fluttershy was looking around, thoughts in her head._

_Twilight didn't want to reattempt the spell until they were cured of the curse, which meant they didn't know when they would get back. Not only that but they had no way to get into contact with the Princesses._

_Meaning there was no one to take care of her animals friends._

_She couldn't help but to sigh._

_The only good thing was that the guide had given them robes, so they wouldn't be naked (as humans had different standards than Ponies)._

_Just then, she heard a squeal. She looked to see was a piglet in one of the springs, trying to get out. She walked over to it and gently picked it up._

_"Are you hurt?" she asked the pig, who shook his head no. "Oh no… This could be another poor person cursed! I better take him to the kind guide."_

_Fluttershy decided to bring the piglet to the guide's house. Inside, she saw Twilight and Rarity, both in human forms, trying to lift a feather using magic. The former had no trouble at all as she channeled her magic through her hands, while the latter couldn't even lift it… or even channel magic at all._

_"I guess my magic's just stronger than yours, Rarity," said Twilight._

_"Just great…" muttered Rarity. That was when they noticed Fluttershy._

_"So, are the rascals still chasing each other?" asked Applejack, who was in human form as well._

_Fluttershy nodded, then said, "I found this pig in one of the springs. I think it might have been someone who fell in." ._

_"Let see," said the guide as he poured hot water on the pig, and it turned into a naked Ryoga, who blushed bright red._

_"Um… can you girls… please turn around?" Ryoga asked._

_The ponies-turned-girls did as he requested. Fluttershy was blushing really hard as well._

_"Spring of Drowned Black Piglet, very tragic story. Now whoever fall in spring turn into black piglet," explained the guide. He then grabbed a large pool simmer, "Excuse me, I have to see if sir's things are still in spring." He then left the house._

_"Um…" said Ryoga, "Thank you for getting me out."_

_"It wasn't a problem," whispered Fluttershy._

_It took the guide 20 long minutes to return with Ryoga's backpack due to its weight. Ryoga took out his clothes from the bag and got himself dressed. By the time he was done, Ranma-Chan came into the house._

_"Man… I couldn't catch him." she said. "Who knew pandas were so fast? Hey, can I have some hot water?" Ranma failed to notice Ryoga until after he changed back._

_"Oh hey, Ryoga." he then said in greeting. "How you're doing, buddy? Did you get so lost you somehow made it to China?"_

_Ryoga glared at Ranma and yelled, "This is all your fault!" The two of them then started fighting, causing the ponies to sweat drop._

_"Why do I have a feeling a long story is involved?" mumbled Applejack._

_Hours later, after showing Ryoga their true forms (he took it surprisingly well; then again, he had turned into a pig), Genma felt it was safe to return, and the guide cooked them dinner._

_"I think we should work together," suggested Twilight._

_"What do you mean?" asked Ranma as he stuffed his face with food._

_"We're stuck here, no way to contact home, and were cursed to turn human. But I'm sure I can break the curse."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"I am the student of Princess Celestia." She received blank stares from the Saotomes, Ryoga, and the guide._

_"Different universe, remember?" reminded Rainbow Dash. Twilight face hoofed for forgetting._

_"I get it," understood Genma. "You want us to give you a place to stay while you figure out a cure for the curse. I think we can do that."_

_"So it's agreed, then."_

_"Agreed." The two then shook hands… um hoof to hand… whatever…_

_"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" asked Rainbow Dash._

_"You're not the only one," sighed Applejack._

_-End Flashback-_

While they did tell the Tendos about how they started traveling with them, they were still pretty focused on the first part of the story.

"How do you get lost that badly?" asked Nabiki.

"Please don't ask," said Ryoga, "I don't know how I do, but my parents are the same way."

Akane is white and pointing at Silver Storm."You... YOU ATE HIM!"

Silver Storm laughs," I didn't. I split my essence. Trick I learned being trapped in ice for a thousand years. Dreadfully useful."

The Tendos processed all this information given to them. As does Twilight.

After a long while, Soun finally spoke up, "Then there's no problem. I'm fine with one of my daughters marrying Ranma."

His three daughters stared at him, not knowing what to say. "Great, he finally snapped," said Nabiki.

"Seriously, I'm fine. In fact, all three of you can marry him! This is perfect!" He was answered by Nabiki and Kasumi using the trademark Tendo Family Death Glare on him, which made their faces become large and ominous to whoever they were using it on. For some reason, Pinkie was able to see their heads like this too even if they weren't directed at her, but she didn't comment.

"I refuse to marry someone like him," said Nabiki. Kasumi remained silent.

Akane shouts adamantly," NO!" brushes past all concerned and heads upstairs.

Silver Storm pours a glass of water on himself and says," That went well." He conjures some clothes and stands up.

As he opens up the door to go outside, a pike meets him in the face.

Twisting his whole body in the air like some demented ragdoll, he lands into the tatami. Cold water from a pitcher happens to douse Ranma.

A purple haired chinese girl stands at the doorframe.

"Shampoo kill pig-tailed girl now."

* * *

><p><strong><span>So many Fav's and Fol's on the first day.<span>**

**NEW CHAPPIE FOR ALL YE FAITHFUL(even though its only the second day.)**

**New title would be preferable.**

**Enjoy!**

**Review!**

**Enjoy!**


	3. More Explanations Needing Mediation

**Quite the plot twist from the original PONIES ONE HALF!**

**Big hand for Emma Iveli without whom this story would lack the inspiration!**

**Thank you so much!**

**Aren't you glad I work so fast!**

**Yet I don't get much appreciation!**

**(Nose grows longer and longer with a point sharp enough to pop a balloon.)**

**Anyway(Pops barrier of wall) ENJOY!**

* * *

><p>Shampoo raises her pike and drives it down upon Ranma choosing to ignore the brightly colored ponies on the sidelines watching. Ranma dodges out of the way.<p>

"WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?" as she fights back, red-pig tail flying all over the place.

"You dishonor Shampoo!?" and they start jumping onto rooftops taking the fight away from the Tendos. Surprisingly the neighbors just yell at the two to keep it down.

Twilight looks out the tear in the door." That was strange."

Kasumi clears the table saying," Yes, it was."

Only Pinkie Pie is happy about it." THATS SO COOL!"

Rainbow Dash asks," Shouldn't we do something about that?"

A splash of water answers the question.

"WHAT YOU WANT STUPID PANDA!?"

The stupid panda in question signs,"Save him!"

"I WOULD HAVE!" Kicking him. Again. In the spine.

* * *

><p><span><strong>Has anyone ever wondered how the world would be a better place if we had the healing powers of anime characters?<strong>

* * *

><p>Zhang crawls to the front door and says," Splash her with cold water."<p>

Pinkie Pie splashes Rainbow Dash again,"Sorry Dashie!"

Zhang moans," Not her. The Chinese Girl."

Rainbow Dash is about to jump with the bucket of cold water before Zhang stops her again.

"WHAT!?"

"Nothing... unless you want people to arrest a nudist girl."

"oh."

* * *

><p>Ranma and Shampoo exchange blows as they jump from roof to roof.<p>

"Why do you want to kill me?"

"You dishonor Shampoo." Throwing the pike that Ranma barely dodges.

"After you, Shampoo go kill village traitor."

Using a tree as a springboard she knocks Ranma into a wall stunning her.

Shampoo grabs her pike again and is about to kill Ranma when...

An old man threatens to sue her. Shampoo gives him a cutesie pose and he decides to leave it be.

Shampoo raises the pike when...

a splash of water hits her changing her into a cat.

Rainbow Dash fully clothed sighs in relief.

Zhang finally catches up and says," Whew... it worked! Lets bring them back."

Picking up Ranma while Rainbow Dash picks up Shampoo.

Silver says conversationally,"So you fell into the Pool of Drowned Cat?"

Hiss.

"ok... Ok... I'm SORRY! What was I supposed to do? Tranquilize you!? You were going to kill me and my new friends! Sheesh."

Unbeknownst to them, an elderly elder sits in a tree. It follows them silently.

* * *

><p>Fluttershy is fanning Ranma and is attempting to wake him up. Kasumi is weeping the tatami away. Hikaru is upstairs trying to figure out the cursed water. Rarity is helping with the replacement of new tatami.<p>

Rarity apologizes,"I'm so sorry. The crazy Amazons tend to break everything."

Kasumi laughs," Don't worry. The other dojos have it worse."

Rarity is shocked and before she can say anything Applejack swears," What in TarNATION!? OW! Stop that!"

Applejack still in pony form drags in a white cat. Ran is staying away having her hands bandaged by Zhang. Zhang says," I swear! Amazon Women WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!" He shrieks the last part, because its awfully hard not to shriek when a cat attacks you with the sentience of a human being and knows where to hurt you.

Applejack jumps into the ensuing fight,"Oh no you don't!" A resulting brawl with the trio's heads, feet, and arms flail out of a dust cloud. When it ends Apple jack holds the cat by the scruff of its neck standing triumphantly on... on Zhang.

Applejack jumps off muttering a muffled sorry. Zhang rolls over and reaches into his interdimensional space pocket for a roll of gauze.

The cat hisses angrily when Ranma wakes up. Ranma takes on look at the cat and faints again. Zhang speaks, his face wrapped up like a mummy," Shampoo, can you speak calmly?"

A scratch.

Zhang grows angry and reaches into the IDS Pocket also known as hammerspace and pulls out a bomb," WELL HOW ABOUT NOW!?"

Another scratch.

"You asked for it!" Before anyone can stop him, he detonates it.

Applejack bucks him. "Why would you do that!?"

"Don't bother me I'm filming." Zhang is indeed filming.

"Why!?"

"So I can blackmail her." Zhang points at the dust. Shampoo is playing with a... ball of yarn!

Applejack shouts," What the-"

"I know! Genius! I made a bomb full of catnip that would explode into a ball of yarn with a mouse at the end and a squeaky sound! No cat on Earth can resist it! I know! I tested it out on a tiger!"

Rainbow Dash asks," Really?"

"Yup. Now don't bother me, I've got to pour hot water on her as I film her."

Zhang proceeds to pour hot water on her and says," Now behold! The innocent cat playing is actually a super-hot Amazon-" Blood gushes out of his nose.

"Shit! I forgot that when they change back. No clothes. Still I got to film this! For the World! For the Otakus! For -..." Zhang stares at his crushed hand, up at Rarity, and down again.

"... May I ask what that was for again?"

"For attempting to defile a ladies honor."

"Oh come on! Amazons don't care about that kind of honor!" Zhang uses his other hand to singlehandedly: Grab another camera and a laptop, set up both, livestream the whole thing, begin to film, bandage his other hand, and then get it crushed again.

He looks to the left and sees a pruny, old chinese lady," ARGH! A TROLL!"

A whack.

"Sorry, a old fairy?"

Another whack.

"Fine. Fine. Can't handle jokes? Elder Cologne?"

"Yes. Now you have many secrets to tell me! Also I'll never forgive you fro attempting to embarrass my granddaughter. Prepare to die after I know your secrets."

"3 things wrong with that statement: Its called blackmail. I have many secrets even though I was in ice for most of the time I was here. And finally, I found your granddaughter a husband."

Genma comes in and kicks Zhang in the head and then pouring the miso soup he was eating on him. Zhang turns into a chibi dragon.

Cologne is speechless.

"I suppose that's another secret you found out!"

* * *

><p><span><strong>Previously Destroyed Tatami Mat Room<strong>

Silver Storm sits soiled in the front of the room. Usually, it would be the head of families, but since Genma and Soun are idiots, he is the impromptu head. He is now no longer chibi. He hates that part of the curse. Discord is such a jerk. Every time a liquid more than 50 % non-water is used on him, he goes into a chibi form for half an hour.

Cologne pokes him in the face."You lived among us for fifteen years and you never told us you were a dragon?"

"Your actions right now are the reason why I never told you."

"You will still die."

"I still have many secrets. Besides I did get you to promise that if I found a man who could beat Shampoo all would be forgiven!" He smiles.

"I believe that you are lying, young one!"

"I'm a thousand years old."

"oh..."

"Should we call them in?"

"Yes."

"OK! Come in!"

The Tendo family file in with Soun taking his place next to Silver Genma comes in with Ranma(girl) and sits next to Soun. The Mane Six(Human) come in and Hikaru takes place to the other side of Silver. Ryoga comes in and sits next to Chiyo.

Shampoo comes in and sits across of Ranma and glares pointedly at her.

Cologne speaks," The Amazon tribe has been insulted by(points to the Mane Six and Ranma and Ryoga) and the head of family Silver Storm."

A snicker.

"Yes?"

"Nothing."

"Shampoo, my beloved granddaughter had her prize for fighting taken by her!" Points the staff of power at Ranma.

Snicker.

"Whar is it?" Death Glare.

"Nothing... Uh... FLASHBACK TIME!"

* * *

><p><span><strong>Flashback<strong>

_After a strange rainstorm, the guide led the Saotomes, the ponies, and Ryoga to the nearby village of Joketsuzoku._

_"This is village of Chinese Amazons," said the guide._

_"What's an Amazon?" asked Pinkie. She and the others have assumed their cursed human forms due to the rain._

_"Female warriors. Very strong, very proud people."_

_When they entered the village, Rarity asked if there were any places to buy some fabric. The guide had given them some money, feeling sorry for the ponies. Fluttershy and piggy Ryoga joined her, the former having offered the latter to join them on their journey, considering his sense of direction was possibly the worst in the entire multi-verse._

_The others went to watch something else… a tournament between the village's best warriors._

_"We very lucky to see this," said the guide. A silver haired boy comes selling dumplings. They all buy some. Hikaru asks the boy if there is any books on the laws of this village and he gives her one. They get into small talk as the boy halps Hikaru translate._

_They watched as two woman fought on a log, one of them being Shampoo as they realized later. She easily defeated her opponent—a woman was twice her size—by knocking her off the log._

_"Really?" asked Ranma-Chan as she and Panda Genma stuffed their faces with food._

_"Yes, fascinating," commented Twilight, engaged heavily in the rulebook._

_"Um… guys," said Rainbow Dash._

_"What?" asked Ranma-Chan. Rainbow then pointed to a sign that read "Prize for Tournament" on the dinner table._

_As it turned out, the winner was Shampoo. And she was NOT happy with the "girl" and the "panda" eating her prize._

_"(Why are you eating my food?!)" she yelled in her native tongue. "(It's clearly labeled that it is the prize for the winner of the tournament, so get away from my meal!)"_

_"Is it just me or does her voice somehow reminds you of Spike's?" asked Rainbow Dash._

_"I don't know. It sounds more like the Mayor's," replied Applejack._

_Meanwhile, the guide translated what Shampoo said to Ranma._

_"So if I beat you, I get the food?" asked Ranma-Chan, "Sounds good to me."_

_The silver haired boy hears this and begins to frantically shake his head no. He is ignored._

_As the two began their fight, everyone else watched, save for Twilight, who was still engaged in her book._

_"Go Ranma! You can do it!" cheered Pinkie Pie as she ate popcorn._

_"Oh no…" whispered Twilight. She then continued to read about the law, and then gave a sigh of relief._

_"What is it?" asked Rainbow Dash as she turned to Twilight. The silver haired boy is now praying to the Gods._

_At that moment, Ranma-Chan defeated Shampoo by knocking her off the log, who got up afterwards in shock, unable to believe that she was beaten by an outsider. As Ranma-Chan was being declared the winner, Shampoo glared and approached her. Just before she could attempt anything, the silver haired bo jumps in between the two._

_Shampoo walks over shoves the boy aside and kisses Ranma. She then grabs a pike._

_The tour guide moans," That Kiss of Death! When female not from tribe beat Amazon women, Amazon women chase female across the world and kill them!"_

_Ranma dodges the pike smashes and shouts," What's going on!?"_

_"Your near death! The silver haired boy reaches into the IDS pocket and throws a smoke bomb. When it dissipates the foreigners are missing._

_Shampoo slams the pike down and goes to Elder Cologne._

* * *

><p>"Shampoo angry!" Shampoo makes to slam a pike down, but Hikaru slows it down. Another glare.<p>

"Not only that, but when Shampoo was preparing for her journey-"

Silver mutters," Or assassination."

Quick Death Glare.

"We found two friends of the girl in question."

"Another flashback time."

* * *

><p><em>Flashback<em>

_Ran mutters," Stupid Ryoga. Getting me lost in the Amazon." Stomach growls." Stupid panda. Stupid Zhang. Stupid Twilight." She keeps on muttering as she looks for civilization. Applejack trudges alongside her. She mutters too._

_Suddenly, a trap is sprung! Ran hangs upside down and a pair of Amazons come out." We catch you!"_

_Ran mutters," Stupid Amazons._

* * *

><p><em>Ran and Alexandria hang over a large bonfire. "Hot! Hot!" She shrieks.<em>

_Shampoo walks over and says," This is very good omen!"_

_"Why?" Ran shrieks._

_"It good luck to kill companion of women before Shampoo go kill women herself. This time, We have two!"_

_"Good luck with that!" Applejack growls. Shampoo prods Applejack's hat and i__t falls in."NO!" She begins to cry._

_Shampoo waves," Lower!"_

_They begin lowering her in. Suddenly it stops._

_Shampoo shouts," Again!"_

_Lowers. Stops. Shouts. Repeat._

_Shampoo wonders where the people manning the pulleys were. She goes around to check and sees Zhang fiddling there._

_"Come out!"_

_"Just a sec." Zhang turns and asks," What is it-" He is thrown out. Ran notices this and begins to swing happily."Zhang!"_

_"Stop swinging."_

_Swings more."What?"_

_"Stop-(SNAP!) Shit."_

_Zhang hums the Indiana Jones Theme Song as he reaches into his IDS pocket and pulls out a whip and... Applejack's Hat!" Sorry Alex! I'm going to borrow it!"_

_Zhang then disarms each of the Amazons approaching flicking the weapons into the fire. As Ran falls in, he turns in a circle and vanishes in smoke to reappear, adjusting his hat to catch Ran, disappear again, cut Alexandria's rope, catch her, and place them next to the bonfire._

_Zhang tips his hat," Most badass way to save the day!"_

_Suddenly, a large pike hits where he was standing 5 second ago._

_"That's not good."_

_"Shampoo kill all of you."_

_Ran whispers," Now would be a good time to teleport us now!"_

_"Can't. Gotta stall for...(Checks imaginary watch) 5 minutes."_

_"Well, Shampoo's coming to kill us now!"_

_"No need to worry!"_

_Applejack says," She is awfully close now!"_

_"Just a couple of more minutes."_

_Shampoo lunges!_

_And then a FLASH!_

_A BANG!_

_SMOKE!  
><em>

_LAUGHTER!_

_A PIKE!  
><em>

_Zhang laughs. "I set a booby trap. Gotta love those!"_

_Zhang grabs each of the girls' hands, places the hat on Applejack's head, and disappears._

_Elsewhere, a cat emerges out of the water._

* * *

><p>Zhang laughs.<p>

Instant Death Glare.

"Sorry."

Cologne continues," And that is why Shampoo must kill all of you."

Zhang laughs again. "Rhetorical question. What happens if I told you the people aforementioned were all victims of Jusenkyo?"

Cologne says," Then amnesty will be given!"

"Good." Zhang waves his hand and hot water falls on everybody. Revealing six horses, two men, and an alreay revealed dragon.

(But you all knew that already.)

Cologne stares,"You knew this."

"I did."

"And you didn't tell us?"

"Between fighting for my life and escaping, do you really think it would have worked?"

"..."

"Good."

Shampoo walks up to Ranma and kisses him, hugging him too.

Zhang mutters," Shit."

Soun asks, "What does it mean?"

"It means, that Ranmas now has another fiance. Most likely Shampoo and Akane will fight it out, and it will all be my fault. Again." He says deadpanned.

Silence.

Chiyo tentatively says," So what do we do now?"

"I will be getting a cup of tea." Zhang leaves.

Awkward silence.

"I'm so sorry." Cologne says.

Pinkie says," Don't worry!"

Twilight searches frantically in the book Silver Storm gave her."AHA! HEAVEN AND EARTH SOLUTION!"

"What?" All aforementioned ask.

"When a Man defeats An Amazon with a prior engagement." Full professor mode!" He can have two wives. The wives can now join and recieve Amazon training. Which means Akane is now an Amazon! Which means that the whole entire Tendo AND Saotome family are Amazons! Also more wives can join in!"

Silver Storm comes back in," I totally forgot about that rule!"

Cologne nods her head and says," I did too."

Pinkie asks,"So does that mean problem solved?"

Nods.

" No more fighting?"

Nod.

"And everybody's happy?"

Nod.

"This means..." Frightened reactions from the Mane Six as Pinkie begins to shake violently and curious reactions from everybody else." This means"

Three.

Two.

One.

Boom.

Part Cannon whipped out she aims at everything. Ovens whipped out and cakes baked. Balloons whipped out and blown up. Streamers thrown out. Cake thrown out. Sake thrown out. Party games thrown out. ALL PARTY ANIMALS HAND ON DECK!

A three second party has been thrown. It goes on to the next day.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Silver Storm has the really hard job of being a mediator. Did you enjoy this? Sorry if it is amateurish. Review if you don't like, so I can evolve. Next is them going to school. Who wants to see Kuno get embarassed multiple times?<span>**

**CIAO FOR NOW!  
>FAVFOL/REV**

**ENJOY LIFE!**


	4. Of School, Idiots, and Info

Akane woke up and stretched.

_Maybe the day before had all been a dream,_ she thought. _Maybe the day before was just something crazy my subconscious came up with. Maybe I ate something weird... After all, alternate universes with talking, magical ponies and men changing into women? That's insane, _Akane convinced herself.

"Is that all you have, Ranma?" came Rainbow Dash's voice from above.

"No way!" responded Ranma.

"They're fighting on the roof?" wondered Akane with a large sweat drop.

She sighed and decided to get ready for school. She brushed her long dark blue hair and tied it into a low ponytail and put on her school uniform as Kasumi called from downstairs.

"Akane! Breakfast!" she heard her sister say.

* * *

><p>She went down the living room which was filled with many different foods. Considering how many guests they had, it made sense.<p>

"Morning, sugar cube," greeted Applejack.

"Good morning!" greeted Pinkie Pie.

Akane sighed and replied, "Morning."

That was when Ranma and Ran entered the room.

Akane put her hands in the time-out position, then said, "So wait… you were human when you were jumping around on the roof?"

"It's so she doesn't cheat…" explained Ranma. "Or accidentally kill me."

"Accidentally kill you?"

Ran smirked as she sat down. "Trust me… you haven't seen a Sonic Rainboom yet."

"I was wondering... Were you a martial artist before you came here?"

"Yeah, I was a black belt."

_How can a pony learn martial arts, let alone master it?_ wondered Akane with a sweat drop.

Zhang comes in with his silver pajamas and nightcap. He yawns," Beautiful Day Today!"

Just then, Fluttershy ran into the room with a worried face. "I haven't seen Ryoga anywhere," she said.

Zhang, head in the wall, says," What is with all the pain these days?"

"Sorry..."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile with Ryoga, somewhere far away…<p>

"Excuse me… I'm looking for the Tendo Dojo?" he asked as he gave a passerby the address.

"That's in Tokyo, this is Osaka," the passerby answered.

"Thanks, anyway." Said Ryoga.

That was when he heard people taking pictures of him. He didn't know why they were doing that, so he shrugged and headed in a random direction, hoping that would take him to Tokyo.

Turns out, he was headed south…definitely not leading to Tokyo.

* * *

><p>"I wouldn't be surprised if he was somewhere in Kansai," said Ranma.<p>

Zhang sips his cup of tea and pulls out his tablet." Not quite. He is in Osaka right now."

"How do you know?", asked Ranma.

"What with him getting lost, losing Alex and Ran in the Amazon, I thought it would give me less stress to just attach a GPS on him."

Just then, Hikaru and Rarity entered the room.

"Why are you in human form?" Akane asked the former, who didn't seem irritated.

"I had to analyze the Jusenkyo water," explained Hikaru, "For some reason, it's easier in human form. I'm guessing it has to do with the magic involving my curse."

"I see."

Just as Nabiki came downstairs, Kasumi and Shampoo entered with the rest of the breakfast.

"Wow, breakfast looks good," remarked Nabiki.

"You can also thank Shampoo," Said Kasumi, "She did half the work."

"It hard to cook for them," said Shampoo as she indicated Pinkie, who ate her food in one gulp.

"What?" Pinkie then asked as she noticed the stares.

"She's the reason why it's so hard, isn't it?" asked Nabiki. Shampoo didn't answer, which Nabiki assumed was a "yes".

"So is it all good now?" Zhang asks worriedly.

Tight nod.

"Whew." Zhang stiffens as if on guard fo the universe to harm him. None come.

"That's good." He leans back and makes small talk with Hikaru on quantum physics.

* * *

><p><strong><span>What? You actually thought that the new character would become another scapegoat? BORING! Or not. MWAHAHA!<span>**

* * *

><p>After breakfast, Cologne and Genma came into the room. Both of them had looks on their face that somehow meant that something horrible has happened.<p>

"There's something Genma and I agreed on," Cologne spoke up.

There was an awkward silence. How awkward? So awkward even people outside somehow felt the tension emanate from the house.

"You agreed on something?" asked Ranma in shock.

"Please tell me this is just a joke," Rainbow Dash laughed nervously.

Zhang raises his hand," So are you telling us, that within the time-span of one night, you: 1. Made up., 2. Agreed to the polygamy contract., 3. Argued over parenting tactics., 4. Talked out something., and 5. Actually agreed.!?"

Curt nod.

"Good. Is it just me, or does this seem far-fetched?"

Ranma tentatively raises his hand."Yes?"

"Cologne and I agreed that…we should send you all to school," answered Genma.

"This no ploy to get us out of house is it?" asked Shampoo.

"No… no… It's not a ploy at all! Not one bit!" He then thought, _Darn it… She guessed my plan!_

Indeed, for Genma, it was a ploy to get them out of the house, and everyone could see through his lie. For Cologne however, she had a different and far better reason.

"I believe this might be good for you." she said, then turned to the ponies. "Sure, you can leave the house in human form, but I know you might spend days on end here."

"Yeah!" agreed Pinkie, "I mean, the remaking writer of this story knows about it all too well, after which he will destroy Equestria and this world by attempting to merge them!"

They all looked at Pinkie, then decided to ignore her fourth wall-breaking moment and returned to the topic at hand.

"Besides, I think it might be a good learning experience for you," explained Cologne.

"A learning experience?" echoed Hikaru with a big grin on her face. The other ponies groaned. This was just what they needed; Twilight having a learning experience. Chances were high that this wasn't going to end well. "You can count on me!"

Cologne turned to the others. "What about the rest of you?"

"Please!" Hikaru turned to her friends. "I don't wanna go without you guys!" Her eyes sparkled with pity, and her expression would make you feel guilty if you refused. Her friends had no choice but to accept.

"I figured," said Cologne. "I already have your supplies ready."

Zhang moans," Do I have to?"

Cologne scolds him," In the past 15 years all you have done is come out to the martial arts practices and stay in your room!"

"Uh... Duh! I mean after I perfected splitting my essence in that Ice Berg I was trapped in, I studied under Leonardo Da Vinci, Confucius, Nicholas Flamel, Albert Einstein, Archimedes, and several others great minds!"

All just stare at him.

He nervously coughs," Uh... Ok! I'll go!"

Hikaru asks," Who are those people?"

"Go google it!"(Vocaloid Reference!)

"Get dressed," said Akane. "I'll show you the way there..."

And that is how they all agreed to go to Furinkan high. Of course, the ponies would go in their human forms. The dragon maybe not.

* * *

><p>Cologne had gotten them basic supplies like books, pens, paper, bags. However, uniforms weren't an issue as the school was apparently pretty lenient when it came to transfer students and school uniforms.<p>

As the girls and Ranma walked to school, Akane wondered something and said, "Doesn't anyone else find it strange that you're already enrolled... despite being here only ONE DAY?"

Alex snickered at that, which earned her a stare from Akane. "Sorry…reminded me of something back home," she explained.

"Shampoo think Great grandmother did something in advance." suggested Shampoo.

Zhang moans as he realizes how Cologne got them in," Ugh! I never should have left that book on hacking into mainframes at home!"

"Wouldn't surprise me."

As they passed by a house, Ranma was accidentally splashed by an old woman blessing her walkway.

"Great!" complained Ranma-Chan, "I hope this doesn't happen throughout the day."

"Don't jinx yourself, Ranma!" said Belle.

"I know of a place where we can get hot water," said Akane, who had an ulterior motive to see someone. That was when Hikaru got out a thermos from her bag and tossed it to Ranma-Chan. "What?"

"I have several thermos bottles in my bag filled with hot water in case Ranma changes in the day," explained Hikaru.

"One of her special talents is super organizational skills," said Ranma.

"I told you that's not one of my special talents."

"Oh yeah, it's magic." Said Ranma laughing nervously.

"Special talents?" asked Akane.

"I guess we should explain," said Belle.

"You know those marks that are on our flanks?" asked Momo.

Akane nodded, also knowing that Rarity had integrated into their clothes.

"Their called cutie marks," explained Hikaru, "Those are our cutie marks. They represent what we're best at, our special talent. The thing that makes us unique, in other words."

"Alex's younger sister as well as mine are obsessed with finding theirs," said Belle.

"That's putting it mildly," remarked Ran.

Zhang asks," Why?"

Ran whispers in his ear. He prays they never come.

* * *

><p><span><strong>BUT THEY WILL! Or not! TRICKED YA! Or not. HA!<strong>

* * *

><p>Akane didn't know why, but this conversation put her at ease. Perhaps getting to know them a little more made her feel better about living with talking ponies.<p>

However this made her almost forget about something. "So… how did…" Just before she could finish her question, she saw that they were almost at school and cut herself off, "Go on ahead."

"What?" asked Hikaru.

"Go on ahead before they see me."

"Why..." Zhang wanted to know.

That was when they heard a loud cheer and saw a mob of boys dressed in various sports uniforms.

"Akane!" yelled one. "Go out on a date with me!"

"I love you, Akane!" yelled another.

"You are so cute!" yelled a third.

"I will finally defeat you!" yelled a fourth.

Akane sighed, "Hold on to my bag." She then tossed it to Chiyo, then ran into the mob…and beating them up with ease. The mob's chances of winning were surprisingly slim. As the rest got into the school grounds, they couldn't help but watch how Akane was winning so easily.

"Is this normal for a school here?" wondered Hikaru.

"No!" replied Ranma. "I've never see anything like this!"

"Hey!" a familiar voice came. They turned to see Nabiki yell from a balcony. "Don't worry about Akane. She does this everyday!"

And Akane was done in less than a minute. Apparently, Nabiki was right. She really did this on a daily basis and has gotten so used to it that it was almost natural.

To the extent that people watched it like it was a show.

"I knew it was going to rain today," said the otaku boy, the very same one who had seen the fight between Panda Genma and the four girls (Ranma-Chan, Shampoo, Ran, and Alex).

"Didn't say it was going to rain men, though!" replied a girl next to him. The two of them then snickered from the little joke she made.

"What… what was that about?" asked Ran.

"I'll explain later," said Akane. "I still have one more to handle. Just go to class. Otherwise, you're going to be marked tardy."

"Tardy?" gasped Hikaru. The five ponies-turned-humans groaned. Akane just HAD to say to say that word. "I'll meet you inside!" And with that, she ran into the school building in a speed matching Ran's , leaving behind a trail of dust, and leaving everyone else with a sweat drop on their heads.

"You couldn't have said 'late', could you?" asked Belle.

"What's wrong with the word tardy?" asked Akane.

"It's a long story, sugar cube," sighed Alex.

"Such a boorish lot," a voice came. Everyone turned to see a tall, young man dressed in kendo robes, a rose and a wooden sword in his hands. "All of them wish to ask you out on a date and once they defeat you." He tossed his rose at Akane, who caught it without missing a beat, then crushed it. Belle sighed as she massaged an oncoming headache.

"What wrong?" asked Shampoo.

"Sorry, its just that he's reminding me of Prince Blueblood right now," explained Belle.

"Oh that asshole is still around?" Zhang muttered.

Belle shakes her head," No, its the 52nd heir."

"I see that they're still keeping the art of being a jerk alive."

"Stay out of this," said Akane to the group.

"Wait!" said Ranma. "You're going to fight him?"

"I do it everyday." Akane cracked her knuckles, ready for a fight.

The tall man then pointed his sword at Ranma. "You there," he declared. "Who are you and why do you seem so familiar with Akane?"

"Akane… do you want to tell him or should I?" asked Ranma.

"It is proper etiquette to give ones names first boor... Very well, then. I will speak first."

"He's a few apples short of a bushel, isn't he?" asked Alex as she performed the universal "he's crazy" signal, also known as the cuckoo finger spin.

"You have no idea," mumbled Akane.

"I am upperclassman Tatewaki Kuno, age 17," the young man introduced himself, "I am the captain of the Kendo Team and the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High." Lightning seemed to strike right when he said that as if the sky itself was punctuating it.

Zhang scratches his head," Was it just me, or did anyone else find that mildly impressive?"

Several heads shake no and some shake yes.

* * *

><p>On the balcony with Nabiki and her friends…<p>

"Blue Thunder?" one of them asked.

"News to me," said Nabiki.

* * *

><p>Back on ground floor…<p>

"I'm Ranma Saotome and I'm staying at the Tendo Dojo."

"You dare stay in the same house as Akane?!" yelled Kuno. He then swiped his sword at Ranma, who dodged the attack.

"All right I accept your challenge!" said Ranma, he tossed his bag at Momo who managed to catch it.

"Wait!" warned Akane, "He's very strong."

"Akane, Ranma defeat me," reminded Shampoo, "Crazy kendo man no problem."

"Excuse me?" asked Kuno, clearly insulted. "What did you just call me?"

"Ignore her," said Ranma, "She'll just beat you up."

_What an arrogant girl... she does not deserve to ravish me!_ thought Kuno.

Zhang who was just testing out his glasses newly installed mind-reading setting sees the thought. Calmly turning it off, he walks over to the bush and throws up. Alexandria walks over and asks,"Are you ok?"

He tells her what he just saw. Another pile of barf hits the bush.

Kuno glared at Ranma, then tried to swipe at him with his sword, but the pigtailed boy dodged the attack. However, Kuno managed to slice the wall behind Ranma.

* * *

><p>"Ranma, you know it's about to rain any second," warned Belle, "Can you please finish this up soon?"<p>

"There's nothing stopping you from staying," pointed out Alex.

Belle just huffed and continued to watch the fight. I hate to say it… but this idiot deserves this!

"Oh boy! This is going to be such an exciting fight," said Momo, having gotten out popcorn (out of nowhere as usual).

"Isn't it a little early for popcorn?" asked Akane with a sweat drop. Momo just shrugged and continued to eat.

* * *

><p>"I don't know what business you have with Akane, but I won't stand for it!" yelled Kuno.<p>

Ranma got into his face and yelled back, "I haven't gotten a chance to know her beyond the fact she hates men and is a decent martial artist! Why is it your business is about mine?!"

Akane was speechless from what Ranma did. He just appeared in front of Kuno like it was nothing. After Kuno tried another attack, Ranma jumped into the air and both were about to do their final moves… with Ranma touching Kuno's forehead, and latter's sword at the former's neck.

It then began to rain. As Ranma wanted to keep his gender changing a secret, this was a bad thing.

Ran sighed and said, "Looks like I have to do my thing!"

She ran to Ranma, grabbed him just when he changed, and sipped out of sight, leaving behind only a rainbow streak for the crowd that had gathered to watched in confusion.

* * *

><p>In the school gym's equipment shed, Ran was taking a deep breath, looking very exhausted from what she just pulled off.<p>

"Thanks," said Ranma with an empty thermos in his hands.

"No problem," replied Ran.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." Ran then gave a thumbs-up, something she learned from Ranma (and have seen Spike and her old friend Gilda do a few times). "Just need a minute. It still takes a lot of me."

That was when their friends (sans Hikaru) ran in.

"How did you find us?" asked Ranma.

"We followed the rainbow trail," said Momo.

"She left a rainbow," mumbled Akane, who was clearly weirded out by what happened. She then turned to Ran. "How did you do that?"

"Just something Cologne suggested I use when I'm human."

Akane nods, but Zhang says, oddly not wet," There's a whole diagram about it! I'll show you!" Before he can pull out a whiteboard and markers out of his IDS pocket, Applejack grabs his hand. He stops.

Akane then turned to Ranma. "By the way, don't fight him again."

"Why?"

"You have a bruise on your neck," pointed out Momo.

"What?" Belle held up a mirror so he could see it.

"You have to be careful next time," warned Akane.

"I'd say we're evenly matched," Ranma chuckled.

Zhang checks the replay on his glasses," I'd say you're not."

* * *

><p>In one 2nd year classroom, Kuno held a hand mirror. He stared at the strange bruise written into his head. Somehow, Ranma had managed to write the phrase...<p>

"Nut job"

"So you don't remember being touched?" asked Nabiki, who shared the same class.

"No."

Nabiki didn't know whether she should be impressed with Ranma or laugh at the fact Kuno would have that on his forehead for quite a while.

* * *

><p>Downstairs in one of the first year classes, the class was getting a special announcement.<p>

"We have nine new students joining the class," said the teacher.

Just then, a hand was raised. A girl then stood up. "I have a question. Why are we getting eight new students? Isn't that a little strange?"

"I don't know, I just do what the Vice Principal tells me to do." _May the Principal come back only after I retire,_he mentally added. "We have Hikaru Hakumei."

"It's nice you meet you," said Hikaru, with quite a few of the boys blushing as she did.

"Momo Mochi."

"It's so exciting to be here! Maybe I can…" The teacher cleared his throat as if to tell Momo to please stop. Most of the boys in the class drooled at Momo and her… um… special talent.

"Chiyo Onbin."

"Hello…" whispered Chiyo.

A few of the boys inwardly squeed, "So Moe!"

"Ran Issanni."

"What's up?" asked Ran. The class looked at her hair, wondering if it was natural or if she dyed it.

"Ranma Saotome."

"Hey," said Ranma as he gave a nod. It was the girls' turn to swoon. They especially liked his muscles.

"Shampoo, who is from China."

"Shampoo's Japanese not so good," said Shampoo. Many of the boys couldn't help but stare; after all, Shampoo was very beautiful.

"Belle Perle from France."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all," said Belle. Most of the students stared at her, as if thinking she was going to be a snob. Little did they know that they were far from the truth.

"And Alex Jackson, who is from America."

"Just call me A.J." said Alex nervously.

The entire class stared at her hat, most of them thinking, Oh great, she's probably one of those Americans.

"And Zhang Tatsuya, also from China."

Zhang nods curtly. He bows to the class and smiles happily," I hope to have an enjoyable year with you." Most of the fangirls squeal inside. They think,"If we can force him into a butler costume and train his demeanor... PERFECT BUTLER! JUST LIKE A SILVER HAIRED SEBESTIAN!"

"Now does anyone have any questions?" asked the teacher.

"I do!" said one boy with brown hair and glasses. It was the otaku boy. "Judging by your appearances and mannerisms, you're a beautiful French girl, a rough-and-tumble American cowgirl, a tomboy, a genki girl, a sexy Chinese girl, a genius, and a shy Moe girl… Can I make a dating sim based on you seven?" The entire class sweat dropped. Then again, he was the class otaku, so it wasn't unexpected. "Never mind… I just realized it's missing a tsundere. I wouldn't be able to see it without one. Plus, I'm unsure what kind of hero we can have. Oh well, back to the drawing board."

"Now then…" said the teacher, "With the exception of Ms. Hakumei, all of you and Ms. Tendo are late. Please stand in the hall."

* * *

><p>And that's what they did. And it wouldn't have been so bad if they didn't have to hold buckets were filled with water.<p>

"Isn't this supposed to be illegal?" asked Ranma.

"I can't believe Twilight," mumbled Akane, who seemed to be angry.

"Well, you did say 'tardy' and that did throw into a fuss," Alex told her.

"Is this about the time she brainwashed half the town into loving that old doll?" asked Ranma.

"What?" asked Akane.

"Don't ask…" said Ran.

"So…" Momo decided to change the subject, "Why are those guys going after you?"

"It all started shortly after school began," explained Akane, "Kuno saw me and made a declaration shortly after..."

* * *

><p><em>-Flashback-<em>

_"Whoever wants to date Akane must defeat her in combat," said Kuno to an entire class of boys. "So says Tatewaki Kuno."_

_The boys instantly believed what he said, unaware that Akane had no part of this._

_-End Flashback-_

* * *

><p>Everyone gasped at the story, feeling there was just something wrong with that.<p>

"So they just listened to him and not you?" asked Alex.

"I keep winning for some reason," replied Akane.

"Some guys will go easy on girls," said Ranma, earning a glare from Akane, causing him to sweat a little.

"Don't worry darling," assured Belle. "We'll help you with this problem."

Zhang says," Next time I see him, I'll be sure to punch him and then find out all his blackmail!" He is reclining on a hammock levitating the buckets of water.

"Are you sure you can do that? And is it even legal?" asks Ran.

"Ah... My dear Ran, look at this black notebook." He holds out a black book with the word THREAT on it." This holds about approximately enough dirt to blackmail the President, The Prime Minister, and pretty much all of the powers in the world."

Ran's eyes widen along with all of the others.

"So... If I were to blackmail a person, they can't touch me. I am invincible! Except to you guys. Good thing I'm lazy!" He promptly snores.

Silence via the sleeping Demon of Sloth and Blackmail.

"I know a way to distract them," said Momo, "Actually several ways… no wait… a million ways!"

Akane tried not to smile… but was failing.

* * *

><p>At the floor above them, Kuno and Nabiki talked in class about…well…<p>

"What do you mean fiancé?" asked Kuno.

"That's right, our fathers agreed to it," whispered Nabiki.

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!"

"Mr. Kuno, stand outside," ordered the teacher.

* * *

><p>Back outside the first year classroom, Ranma and the others continued talking. Well, sort of…<p>

"Then I was like, 'Oatmeal, are you crazy?!'" Momo rambled.

"What is she talking about?" asked Akane.

"Best you tune her out, sugar cube," advised Alex.

"Hey, Fluttershy. You okay?" asked Ran, noticing that the poor pink haired girl was straining under the pressure of the heavy buckets.

"I'm fine," whispered Chiyo.

That's when someone tried to splash Ranma. However, he managed to get out the way in time. Everyone turned to see that the culprit was Kuno.

"What was that for?" asked Ranma.

"I will never accept your engagement to Akane!" yelled Kuno, his wooden sword on the ready.

That was when the windows of the classroom opened up and almost the entire class peeped through.

"Is that for real?" asked a girl.

"You're engaged to him?" asked a boy to Akane.

"He IS kinda cute."

"Thank you, oh gods of dating sims!" said the otaku boy as he bowed his head. "I have a hero and a tsundere!"

"Shouldn't we be learning things?" asked Hikaru, the only one still sitting at her desk.

Kuno tried to slice one of the buckets Ranma was holding, but he dodged so that the water wouldn't hit. "Fight me!" yelled Kuno.

"This is no place to fight!" said Ranma, "Follow me!"

A hand stops them both. Zhang rubs his head from the sliced bucket.

"Ow. Calm down everybody. Lets calm down like the sane men we are." Kuno and Ranma drop their fighting stances.

Zhang smiles, but a black haze emerges from behind him. Breathes in and out.

One.

Punch Kuno in Face.

Check.

Two.

Throw Ranma after him.

Check.

Three.

Run after both flying bodies screaming bloody hell.

Check.

All three bodies touch down on the ground and set off on a run with Ranma in the lead, Kuno chasing him sporting a big bruise on his forehead,

"Does anyone else have a feeling that this is going to get really stupid?" asked Ran to no one in particular. She received a nod from her friends.

* * *

><p>Ranma leads Kuno and Kuno leads Zhang away from the classrooms… and the entire class followed the fight, including Hikaru. He then decides the best thing to do was to jump out a window. Akane was about to say something, but the studious indigo-haired girl beat her to it.<p>

"Ranma!" Hikaru yelled. "That wasn't the best place to jump out a window!"

Ranma looked down…to see the school pool. He couldn't help but utter a phrase he picked up from the ponies. "Oh, horse apples," he mumbled. And with that, he and Kuno fell into the pool with a mighty splash. Zhang follows.

* * *

><p><strong><span>How did you like this chapter?<span>**

**Did you know that Zhang actually has a third transformation!?**

**FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER!**

**Any suggestions!**

**Or Critiques!?**

**ENJOY!**

**REV/FOL/FAV**

**GOD OF PHYSICS OVER AND OUT!**


	5. Deluded Idiots and Cute Secrets

Ranma wanted to keep the fact that he turned into a girl as secret as possible. And falling into the pool was not one way to do that. What was worse, Kuno accidentally grabbed one of her boobs while trying to simply grab him. An unseen shape quickly kicks Kuno off.

* * *

><p>Back in the school building, the class watched as Ranma(-Chan now) slammed Kuno on the ground next to the pool and retreated into the nearby forest. A glint rises off a racing figure about the size of a large beach-ball<p>

Hikaru saw this and knew what she had to do. She ran down the hall and turned the corner.

"Hikaru, wait!" called Akane as she saw her go. She went down the hall as well and turned the corner…only to see she was gone. "Where did she go?" she wondered as the others managed to catch up to her.

"You are aware she can teleport, right?" reminded Alex.

A sweat drop formed on Akane's head. "I had no idea she can do that in human form."

* * *

><p>In a tree outside, on top of one of the tree branches, Ranma-Chan was wringing out her pants, muttering things about Kuno and a panda. The blob next to her just mopes around.<p>

"Hey!" she heard a voice call out. She looked down to see Hikaru holding a teakettle.

"I wanted to apologize what I did earlier," sighed Hikaru.

"I know about the Ms. Smarty Pants Doll… Pinkie told me," replied Ranma-Chan, knowing it wasn't her fault. "I know how you feel about school." Hikaru sighed, knowing she had a problem and she had to admit it. Just then, Ranma-Chan started laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Just think about the notepad and quill so you can help her with her 'homework'. You are such a nerd!"

"Hey!" Hikaru glared at the boy turned girl.

"He's right you know." The blob mutters.

"We're even now."

Hikaru sighed as her hands glowed with magic. The teakettle was then surrounded by Hikaru's aura as it floated up to Ranma-Chan. "I wasn't able to get one of the thermoses. And what is that thing next to you?"

"Where did you even get this?"

"And I am not a thing as you should know Twilight." The blob rises up revealing it to be an alicorn.

"I got it from the janitor's closest. And who are you?"

Just then, a very angry Kuno showed up. "Ranma Saotome, where are you!" he yelled.

"I'll distract him!" Hikaru told Ranma-Chan.

"Okay." She lifted the kettle, but had dropped it. She managed to catch it, but had to use her feet to keep herself steady in the tree. In other words, Ranma-Chan was stuck. "Oh man…" she groaned with a sweat drop. The silver alicorn flies over and struggles to help Ranma-Chan lift it up.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Hikaru appeared before Kuno.<p>

"Who are you?" asked Kuno. a few seconds later, he remembered. "You must be one of those new transfer students I heard about." Hikaru nodded in response. "Are you willing to fight me?"

"I'm not a martial artist," replied Hikaru.

"Oh I am sorry. I thought you wanted to fight me." Kuno blinked, and that was when he saw her. Truly saw her. The long flowing indigo hair, the pink streak and purple streak on it that blended in well… He then blushed deep red. "You are beautiful."

"Wh-What?" A massive sweat drop formed on Hikaru's head.

Before Kuno can say more, someone kicked in him the face, forcing him to the side.

"Who did that?" he demanded as he bumped into a tree. He then turned to see the culprit. It was Ran, and she wasn't happy. Kuno looked at her, her beautiful rainbow hair, the energy she had. She was small in certain areas, but there was just something about her.

"I'll handle him," said Ran, "You help Ranma."

"What do you mean?" asked Hikaru as she turned…to see Ranma-Chan's almost unnatural position in the tree. She couldn't help but face palm. She then ran over to help the boy turned girl an mysterious alicorn.

* * *

><p>Back at where Ranma was…<p>

"How did you get like that?" Hikaru asked.

"It's complicated, okay..." said Ranma-Chan, "Just help us."

"Okay, just remain completely steady. And you will tell me what your are!"

"I'll try."

"Will do."

* * *

><p>Back to Kuno…<p>

Ran took a fighting stance.

"You're not going to fight him alone sugar cube, " another voice came.

Kuno turned to see Alex. He felt it. That girl, he could feel she was American, what with the blonde hair, freckles, and the way she dressed. He knew right then she was something you didn't see that often… well in Japan that is.

"Are you sure you can handle him?" Ran pointed out in slight concern. "You're still a beginner."

"I can handle him," assured Alex.

"And I'll help if you need it!" said Momo as she popped up from somewhere.

Kuno's eyes widened. He never saw anything like this girl before. Her bouncy hair, the way she seemed to bounce and her bouncy…um, talents. Not only that, but he could tell she was so cheerful and happy that she could make anyone smile.

"But you're not even a martial artist, Momo," indicated Ran.

"That doesn't mean I can't help."

Both Ran and Alex sighed, knowing it was better to agree than to say no.

"Very well, then," Kuno declared. "I will go out on a date with whoever defeats me!"

He was answered with a kick from Ran and Alex that sent him flying into the air.

"Why would we want that?!" the two yelled.

* * *

><p>Back at the tree, Hikaru was trying to figure out a way to stabilize Ranma-Chan.<p>

"Can you hold still for a second?" asked Hikaru.

"You already asked me that!" muttered Ranma-Chan. That was when Kuno landed on the kettle, which happened to destroy it. Of course, Kuno just had to squash the alicorn all things to happen… Ranma-Chan's eye twitched, clearly not happy about that.

"What are the chances of that happening?" asked Ran as she, Alex, and Momo came over.

"Don't ask me."

"Where is that coward Saotome?" asked Kuno.

Ranma-Chan sighed and dropped him. "He hasn't figured it out… good."

"That hurt, you know."

Ranma-Chan just ignored him and jumped out of the tree. "Come on, let's do this," she said.

"Is that a good idea?" asked Hikaru.

"He hasn't figured it out."

"You already said that silly!" noted Momo.

Ranma-Chan rolled her eyes and proceeded to give the upper classman a beating. As she did that, he looked at her.

Her red hair placed into a pigtail… not only that but the skills. She was just as skilled as Akane… No, far more skilled.

He landed with a thud as Ranma-Chan took his sword.

"And guess what, Ranma Saotome is better than me," he then heard Ranma-Chan say.

"Is he okay?" a voice came. He looked up and saw two more girls. Chiyo and Belle. Both were very different.

Her pink hair, her sad eyes, Kuno was thinking as he looked at the former She looked like she was fragile and delicate. Not only that but it looked like if she talked it would only come out in shy squeaks.

"Don't ask that about him," said Belle, "You heard what he did."

Kuno couldn't help but stare. She was the exact opposite of her companion; she was glowing with confidence. Not only that, but the way her hair was curled… a lot of great effort was put into it. Not only that either, she wasn't from Japan and had a European feel to her.

"Hey!" came Akane's voice.

"There you are," he then heard Shampoo.

"Come on guys," said Ranma-Chan. "Let's go home."

"School isn't over yet," Akane pointed out.

"And lunch didn't even happen yet," said Momo.

"I don't even think we've been here an hour," added Hikaru.

"Will somebody help me up already?" moans the alicorn.

Ranma-Chan sweat dropped upon hearing those responses.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, Kuno was mulling over things in class.<p>

"What's wrong, Kuno baby?" asked Nabiki.

"Those transfer students… Are all of them staying at your house?" asked Kuno.

"Yeah, why?"

"Tell me, what's the name of the girl with the indigo hair, the one with the streaks?"

"Why should I tell you?" Nabiki now had a certain tone. A tone of… business.

Kuno sighed and knew her game, taking out a wad of cash, "1,000 yen for every name you give me."

"Deal. Her name is Hikaru Hakumei."

Kuno paid her the money, took out some paper and began to compose a letter. Once he was done, he turned back to Nabiki. "Now what's the name of the one with the rainbow hair?"

"Ran Issanni…" Kuno once again paid her and began to write another letter.

"The American."

"Alex Jackson…" Kuno, as one can guess, paid her once more and wrote another letter.

"The one with the poofy hair."

"Momo Mochi"

Kuno paid her 1,000 more yen and wrote a fourth letter. "Now the girl with the pigtail in Chinese clothing."

"That doesn't sound like a description of one of the transfer students," someone else cut in. Kuno and Nabiki turned to see that it was the girl who stuck around with the otaku boy (and was an otaku herself).

"What? How do you know?"

"I heard what the transfer students look like. There is a girl in Chinese clothing, but she has purple hair and a hard-to-describe hairstyle."

"Oh… not her… That girl! She dares insult the great Tatewaki Kuno."

"Oh, any girl who dares insult the "Great Tatewaki Kuno" doesn't get a letter? You know, I have no idea what you're doing nor do I want to." The otaku girl walked away, deciding just to ignore her classmate for the time being. Nabiki however still had to talk to him due to the business agreement they had.

He wrote the letter despite not knowing the girl's name (or the fact that she was really a boy) and instead labeling it for the tree borne kettle girl.

"Now tell be about the one with the pink hair," Kuno said.

"Chiyo Onbin…" Nabiki answered with a sigh. He once again paid her and began to write the letter.

"And the girl who's from somewhere in Europe? I don't know where, but she definitely wasn't from America."

"Belle Perle."

"That's all I needed to know." Kuno gave her the final 1,000 yen, wrote his final letter, and handed them all to Nabiki.

She looked at the letters and sighed. _This isn't gonna end well_, she thought. Especially with Fluttershy. As far as I know, she wouldn't be able to fight, let alone Kuno.

* * *

><p>That afternoon at the Tendo Dojo… the six ponies were in their true forms, lying next to the table as did Shampoo and Ranma.<p>

"So, how was your first day of school?" asked Cologne.

"It was fun!" said Pinkie, "I can't wait to go again."

"Speak for yourself," snarked Rainbow Dash.

"Oh come now," said Cologne. "It wasn't that bad."

"Akane gets harassed every morning by a large group of boys who want to date her," said Twilight.

"Well, I guess that's one thing I need to work with her on. I went though a man-hating phase myself when I was young, but that's another story for another time."

"And I bet it will involve what made you go though it showing up in a way that's so very unexpected it's kind of scary but also really funny," spouted Pinkie. Cologne stared at her, not sure how to respond so she decided to ignore her, while at the same time silently hoping HE wouldn't show up.

"By the way, Applejack. I need your help with something. It involves Akane's training."

"Why me?"

"You'll see when we begin."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, outside the dojo…<p>

Akane was breaking some cement blocks with her fist outside the dojo. Just then, Cologne came in. "Sorry to keep you waiting," she said, "Now we have to wait for your sparring partner."

"Who is it?" asked Akane.

"Let's get into the dojo and wait. I have a feeling she's getting into a fight with a certain dress-making unicorn."

Akane blinked, not sure which one she would be sparring with (other than the fact it wasn't Rarity).

* * *

><p>A few minutes later… Alex walked in, wearing a martial arts gi, and holding a teakettle, which she placed by the door. She then walked over to where Akane and Cologne were standing.<p>

"Sorry for taking too long," she apologized. "Rarity would let me wear any of my clothes."

"Alex is still a beginner," Cologne told Akane. "I know you are more skilled than her, but I don't think you'd be able to handle the others without them going easy on you. For the time being, Applejack is your opponent."

Akane shrugged and the two began.

Alex started off by throwing a kick, which Akane dodged. When it hit, the floor broke a little. Akane thought,_Wow, Applejack does have some powerful legs_. The distraction allowed a kick to land on Akane's back, which knocked her to the floor.

_OK, THAT'S IT!_ Akane charged, and the two exchanged attacks.

As they battled, Akane noticed something; Alex didn't use her hands very much. Most of it was kicks, and she even used her legs to block most of the time. I guess she's used to using her legs... Smirking, Akane quickly grabbed Alex's incoming roundhouse, and slammed her to the floor. She then quickly grabbed Alex's ankles.

"No more kicking for you!"

Alex simply used her hands to punch Akane, stunning her. Alex smirked.

"I'm not a fan of using my hands... Since I technically wasn't born with any. But… I guess I'll have to manage." The two then continued to go at it.

After a while, Cologne spoke up. "I think that's enough. You may go, Applejack."

"Okay," said Alex as she headed to the door, picked up the teakettle and poured it on herself, reverting to her pony form. She then took off the gi and left.

Akane wondered why she changed so quickly, but decided to not to dwell on it for the time being.

"I think you noticed something about Applejack's fighting style," Cologne said.

"She mostly used her legs," Akane realized.

"That's right. Each fighter—regardless of form, be they human or pony—has their own style. Applejack uses her legs, Shampoo uses weapons most of the time, Rainbow Dash uses speed, Ryoga uses brute strength, and Ranma…well, he's a bit of a jack-of-all-trades."

"So…why are you telling me this?" asked Akane, "I know that each person has their own style."

"I thought it would be a good idea to start from the beginning." Said Cologne.

"I see…"

"I think you should try out a few weapons before I make my final decision with how I train you. But we'll save that for another day."

"But, I don't know…" Akane had problems with a certain weapon.

"I know all about the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts. In fact I once dated the founder." Cologne shivered slightly at the memory, "But that's a story for another time."

Akane could've sworn that her father once mentioned he trained under the founder. She wondered if it was the same man. It'd be too much a coincidence if it were true.

"Anything Goes means Anything Goes. Unless the rules changed…"

Realizing what Cologne meant, Akane cut in, "It's not that… It's just that… never mind… I'm going to take a bath."

As Cologne watched Akane leave, she thought, maybe her reluctance to use weapons has something to do with her hatred of men.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile...<p>

The silver alicorn turned out to be Zhang(Was there ever any doubt?) and Twilight(Pony form) grills the much smaller alicorn.

"How did you get like this?"

"I don't know!" says Storm for the umpteenth time.

"Any theories?"

"Maybe?

"Tell me! And why didn't you let us know that you had three curses on you!"

" I DON'T KNOW! You're reacting just like I imagined! What would you do!? I had the dual curse of becoming a chibi-dragon, human, and chibi-alicorn! I DON'T KNOW, JUST SCREAM IT OUT!"

Belle pops her head in to ask," Can I dress you up Stormie?"

"NO!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile…<p>

In the living room, Pinkie Pie was watching television.

"This thing is amazing!" she yelled, "I can't believe there's something like that here!"

"I guess they don't have TVs in your universe," said Ranma as he did some stretches on the deck.

"Could you please turn it down?" pleaded Twilight, her nose in a book. "I'm trying to read." Twilight has given up on grilling Storm allowing him to go back to being Zhang after hearing his theory of some-pony coming here just like them.

Zhang sits on a cloud sipping his tea moodily. Another embarrassing secret revealed.

That was when Nabiki showed up, holding the letters Kuno had written earlier in the day. "Hey, do you know where others are?" she asked.

"We know where Rainbow Dash is," said Ranma, pointing to the garden.

Nabiki turned around and sweat dropped; she saw Rainbow Dash lying on a cloud. It was below the eye line of the wall, so no one would be able to see her. Zhang floats over to Nabiki and turns on his mind-reading setting. What he sees is terrifying and he quickly turns it off.

Will he ever be able to effectively use that setting?

_How is that possible? _Nabiki thought. _Where did she even get that?_ She then shook the thought out of her head. Never mind. It's probably magic; you don't need to explain it. After handing the letters to Pinkie, Ranma, and Twilight, she then turned to the sky blue Pegasus and yelled, "Hey! Wake up!"

In an instant, Rainbow Dash jolted awake. "Huh… what's going on?" she asked.

Nabiki held out the letter labeled "Ran Issanni" and the Pegasus flew over to get it.

"That's strange…" mused Twilight. "He knows I don't fight."

"Thank you not giving my name, by the way," said Ranma.

"What's going on?" asked Rarity as she entered the room. Nabiki gave her the letter labeled "Belle Perle" and she read it. "But I didn't even fight him… why would he even want to meet with me?"

"Well he wants to meet with all of you, for some reason," said Nabiki.

"Not a good idea", Zhang said. He sips again.

"Don't worry," assured Rainbow Dash in a teasing manner. "If you come, we'll protect you."

"That's… fine…" Rarity was holding in her rage.

"We have to talk to Applejack and Fluttershy about this," Twilight said with a sigh.

"Talk about what?" asked Applejack as she came into the room with Fluttershy.

"I still don't think this is a good idea." Zhang says again.

"Speak of the devil…" mused Nabiki.

"Well…" Twilight didn't need to say more as Nabiki handed the two the letters. Afterwards, the seven that received the letters began to talk about it and decided to go for it. After all, Kuno probably wouldn't rest until they all faced each other.

* * *

><p>That Sunday, they had come up with a plan; Ranma-Chan, Ran, and Alex would act a first defense. On the off chance they failed, then Hikaru and Momo would take over, the former with her magic and the later with her…um, Momo-ness. And should THAT fail too…well, there was Chiyo with her Stare. Zhang was convinced to hide behind his invisibility spell in full dragon mode in case Kuno goes crasy.<p>

That was when Kuno arrived, his hands behind his back.

"Where's your sword," inquired Ranma-Chan.

"I do not need one today," replied Kuno, "Instead, I have something to give you all."

He then tossed out several things at them, which they managed to catch… bouquets of roses. "I know this might sound a little cruel, but I have fallen in love with every single one of you. I'm sorry I have to share my love, but that's just how I feel."

They watched Kuno as he left. Once he was gone, there was a stunned silence as the six ponies turned humans just stared, wondering what just happened right now.

That silence was then ended with a loud thump. Ranma-Chan was on the ground, processing the information.

"Sugar cube, you okay?" asked Alex.

Silver dispels his appearance. "This is bad.

Ranma-Chan could only nod, as she was in shock over what just happened. And of course, this was only the beginning of the madness that would surely come.

To sum it up nicely Silver says it again.

"We are in deep shit."

* * *

><p><span><strong>This was a fun chapter to write.<strong>

**Okay. The human names will be used to refer to the ponies in human form. Pony names for the pony forms. Chibi-alicorn name will be Storm and Dragon name will be Silver. Genma's panda name will be just Genma-pan.**

**Should there be more instances where there is Storm in chibi alicorn form?**

**REV/ FOL/ FAV if you want to change!**

**ENJOY!**

**GOD OF PHYSICS OVER AND OUT!**


	6. Big Changes in Furinkan High!

One night, Ranma jolted awake with a start. He had had a nightmare…and he hoped it would not be a reoccurring one. He saw that that did to people. Well, the one he knew about wasn't exactly a person to being with.

Ranma knew his life was pretty screwed up. After all he turned into a girl, his best friends were a group of magical ponies from another universe, he was engaged to two girls and had the okay to engage in polygamy. But a man confessing his love to him… even if he was a girl at the time? It made him want to take a bath and just keep rubbing until he was raw.

"A nightmare?" a voice came.

He looked to see Pinkie Pie awake. But he knew something was wrong; her hair was straight and if it wasn't dark he'd be sure her colors would be muted. Not only that, but she was sobbing silently so as not to wake up anyone else.

"Yeah," answered Ranma, then said, "The Cupcake Killer nightmare?" Pinkie nodded and she began to sob some more as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Remember what I said, you'll only end up crazy like that if you think about it. Besides, you'd never use ponies to make cupcakes anyway! They'd taste terrible!" Pinkie had to chuckle at that.

"What was yours about?" Pinkie asked.

"Marrying Kuno."

"Oh come on, we know that's never going to happen." Pinkie managed to crack a smile. Ranma couldn't help but chuckle; she was right on that one. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

"Sure," said Ranma with a shrug.

"Do you guys want to talk about it?" Silver asks hanging upside down.

Ranma asks," What are you doing up there?"

"Don't mind me, if you don't feel the need to talk about it."

Silver summons a couple more items from the IDS pocket. Feeling a stare from behind him, he attempts to work faster. As he turns to leave, he gets a faceup with Pinkie Pie defying physics and standing upsidedown.

"What ya doing?"

Silver babbles,"Reformatting the house, so I can make it smarter. Also updating the nonexistent security system to protect you and all of our friends. Currently, also working on trying to find Ryoga. It shortciruited again. Honestly, where is he?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile...<p>

At Area 51, Ryoga appears and asks,"Where am I?"

Surrounding him, is ancient alien technology. The security guard dials a number," Hello, May I speak to the President? He's here again."

Ryoga touches another piece of equipment. His Curse activates the hyper-space drive teleporting him.

"Never mind, He's gone again. Cancel Order 666."

* * *

><p>The next morning, everyone was eating breakfast when Momo (her hair back to normal, Ranma noted) came into the living room with a bunch of instruments.<p>

"I'm going on ahead today!" said Momo. "I plan to distract those guys who like Akane!"

The Tendos looked at the instruments, wondering where she got them, then dismissed it as one of her perks, just as the ponies (currently in human form) have.

"But why instruments?" Nabiki asked.

"That's a secret!" Momo then ran off, exiting the room and the house.

"So… what do you think she's going to do?" Akane asked the others.

"We'll know later," replied Hikaru with a sigh.

"I have a theory that she is going to use music psychology to train them to go away." says Zhang.

"How does that work?" asks Hikaru.

"I'll tell you."

Ran rolls her eyes and mutters,"Eggheads."

"She seems to be in a better mood," said Ranma.

"Is this about last night?" asked Belle.

"What do you mean?"

"When we woke up, you were snuggling her like stuffed toy," said Shampoo.

"It was so cute we decided to wait to wake you up," added Belle.

"Yeah, I got excellent pictures!" Zhang says enthusiastically.

Akane stared at them and looked away. She hadn't witnessed the scene and her man-hating mind immediately assumed that Pinkie Pie was in her cursed human form when she was really in her true pony form.

Zhang notices this and turns to face her. "Akane. Don't assume the worst," he said, "Especially from Ranma."

Akane looked at Zhang and sighed.

"If you want proof, here!" Zhang slides the reputation destroying weapons over. Shampoo dashes over.

"Me want too!"

"Okay! 500 yen!"

Akane and Shampoo grin happily and slyly at the cuteness overloading pictures.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at school…<p>

The Hentai Horde (as they were known), the mob that had attacked Akane the other day, were waiting for the youngest daughter of the Tendo family when they heard something… it was polka!

"Where's that music coming from?" asked a boy form the baseball team.

"Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my polka face…" mumbled someone from the hockey team, seemingly remembering a song for no particular reason at all. The boy in the marital arts gi next him stared at him and scooted away, pretending that he didn't say that.

That was when they saw the source. It was Pinkie Pie (in her pony form), playing what had become known in Ponyville as the Parasprite Polka.

"What the…" said a boy from the Kendo team.

"There's a pink pony playing polka," called out a boy from the American football team.

"There's a gas leak!" yelled a boy from the soccer team. "I'm sure of it, there's one somewhere!"

"I knew I should have played sick today," muttered a boy in a baseball uniform.

The Horde soon dispersed in panic, screaming about gas leaks.

In the Kendo team headquarters, Kuno was doing his preparation separately when he suddenly heard the polka.

"Will someone turn down that music?" he asked no one in particular.

He had no idea about the distraction that was taking place. After all, he was in a different location so he could be alone, thinking of Akane.

* * *

><p>Zhang finishes his cup of tea and mutters to himself," Gotta upgrade the school too."<p>

Ranma asks for all of the people walking to school," Why?"

"Three reasons: One, To make sure I have good blackmail info. Two, To make sure we all know where stalkers are. Three, You never know when a being of mass destruction summons a ginormous monster kaiju and you need two pilots to pilot the robot you have secretly begun building underneath the school."

All sweat drop.

"What!? Makes total sense!"

Rarity says," No, it does not."

Applejack responds," No."

Hikaru scolds Zhang," No. Absolutely irresponsible."

Chiyo whispers," I don't think that's a good idea."

Zhang looks imploringly to Ran. She hesitates," The robot thing sounds awesome..." The answer is met with looks."But NO!"

Zhang mutters stormily," You'll be begging me soon."

* * *

><p>Sometime later, Kuno was now at the school entrance, devoid of The Hentai Horde that usually waited in anticipation for a chance to attack Akane.<p>

"I wonder where those weaklings are," wondered Kuno, realizing he was alone. "Oh well. Perhaps I will be able to defeat Akane without their interference."

That was when he saw Akane in the distance, alongside with Ran and Ranma. All three of them came in with a flying kick, hitting him in the face.

"I didn't need your help," Akane told her companions as they landed from the attack.

"We were doing it for you," said Ranma.

"You are aware of what happened yesterday… right?" reminded Ran.

"Yes, I am." Akane sighed, realizing she couldn't blame either one of them for wanting to kick him.

Zhang follows behind taking pictures and posting them on a new website he made last night.

* * *

><p>Later, in the second year class…<p>

Kuno dumped a panda plushie on Nabiki's desk.

"No thanks," said Nabiki as she pushed it aside. "Not my style."

"It's not for you, it's for the pigtailed girl," said Kuno.

"Why don't you give it to her yourself?"

"I have no way to get in touch with her. Unlike with the other girls."

Downstairs, in the first year class…

"So what did Kuno give you?", asked Ran as she held a cat plushie by the tail as if it were toxic. Personally, she would've preferred a cool bird of prey, a bat, or even a tur... uh… tortoise.

"A monkey," said Hikaru, staring at hers. Honestly, an owl better suited an intellectual like her.

"A walrus," said Belle, glaring at hers as if trying to set it on fire.

"I don't think he gets us," said Alex as she held an eagle plushie. She was unaware that from his perspective, giving her an eagle made sense as it symbolized America, where she was from supposedly. (Of course she's not, you all know that.)

"They're kind of cute," remarked Momo as she held a squirrel plushie.

"Is it okay to get rid of them?" asked Chiyo, holding a penguin plushie in her arms.

"I'll show you how I get rid of the ones he gives me later," offered Akane.

"I'll take them." Zhang says, finishing filming the conversation.

Stares.

"What? If you look closely they are all high quality custom made dolls made by top-secret aliens living underneath the Earth's crust."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile...<p>

Ryoga asks a creature,"Where am I?"

The rat-like creature squeals and asks for a selfie with him. It then hands him a plushie that looks like Fluttershy.

"Give that to the girl you like!"

"How-"

"My species can read minds." The rat-like creature begins to lead him to a secret passage back up to New York City, our of the Underland.

* * *

><p>"Anyway, I was hoping to donate them to charity or sell them again for money to donate to charity."<p>

Alex asks," Are you lying?" She cuddles the eagle now protectively.

"What use is money to me? I can blackmail it from the Yakuza if I ever need it."

Sweat drops.

"Did you hear…?" the girls overheard one boy talking to another, "The Hentai Horde all suffered from a weird mass hallucination… They kept babbling about a pink pony playing the polka."

"That's weird… especially the polka bit." said the other, "I mean, how would it even work?"

"A one-man-band type of thing, I guess."

"You didn't…" said Akane as she stared at Momo, who just laughed.

"Why am I not surprised?" mumbled Hikaru as she rolled her eyes.

* * *

><p>Back upstairs…<p>

"Did you give all of them stuffed animals?" asked Nabiki, remembering what Akane usually does to the stuffed toys he gave her.

"Of course," replied Kuno. "I want to be fair for all of them." That was when he heard sarcastic laughing from somewhere. He turned to the otaku girl, who was the one who did it. "Why are you laughing?"

"You aren't their type," answered the otaku girl, clearly talking about something involving anime.

"What do you mean 'the type'?"

"You're a deluded idiot, not a hapless nice guy. If anything, you alienate them, not charm them."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, nor do I want to."

The otaku girl shrugged, "Oh well. Don't say I didn't warn you. Then again, you'll probably forget this warning."

"What is she even trying to say?" Kuno asked Nabiki.

"That you're an eight-timing jerk," she answered.

"What? How can you say that?! The graceful Akane, the spirited pigtail girl, the intelligent Hikaru, the energetic Ran, the hard working Alex, the cheerful Momo, the shy Chiyo, the radiant Belle… I can't help but love all them!"

"If only you were a good cook," said the otaku girl, reading Sailor Moon manga, "Then you'd fit the bill."

"You are no longer part of this conversation!" Kuno said firmly.

"You wouldn't get half the things I say anyways."

Kuno turned to Nabiki. "How do I give this to the pigtailed girl."

"Considering the fact that you are hurting my sister…" Nabiki partially lied. After all, he was hurting her sister, but not in the way he thought. "Why should I help you cheat?"

Kuno then took out a wad of cash, knowing the only way through her is through his wallet. "How much?"

"Before I decide, there's something I need to show you." She took out a couple of photos, all of them were the "girls" that Kuno liked. "3,000 yen for a set of five."

Kuno looked at the pictures. He didn't want to buy all of them, but they were all beautiful. "I'll take them all." After making his purchase, he asked, "One more thing. How much would it cost to learn how to get in contact with the pigtailed girl?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile...<p>

Tingles run up all of the girls spines plus Ranma.

Hikaru asks," Did you just feel that?"

"That someone close to us just sold us out? Yeah." Ran shivers.

Alexandria asks Zhang," How soon can you upgrade the school?"

"So, I have permission now?"

Belle begs," Yes! I feel like I'm not fit to marry anymore."

"Beg me."

"OK!"

Zhang looks at Chiyo who just gives him puppy eyes.

"Ugh! Fine."

"Fine." He walks out the door to make a call. The Prime Minister of Japan is making a speech when a call interrupts him.

"Yes... WHAT!"

Murmurs.

"Yes... Yes, Of course!"

Murmurs.

"OK! Please don't tell anyone."

Murmurs.

"I'll send people over."

Murmurs.

"Now... Of course! Now!"

Zhang comes back in brushing his hands. "OK! Should be ready by tomorrow!"

* * *

><p>Nabiki told him the cost and he paid accordingly. "The way to get into contact with the pigtailed girl is though Ranma Saotome," she explained.<p>

"I see."

After working out a plan, Nabiki went to the first year classroom, where Ranma and the others were.

"Hey, Ranma," she called. "Kuno wants to talk to you about something." Ranma nodded and left with her.

"I have a bad feeling about this," muttered Hikaru.

Zhang activates the spell,"You think!?"

After a few minutes, the six ponies-turned-humans along with Shampoo and Akane decided to see what was going on. They saw Nabiki explaining Ranma's curse… rather poorly.

"Her body, it's all his…" Nabiki finished her explanation.

Zhang facepalms at the explanation.

Kuno took it all the wrong way…the way that involves slavery in a certain way…

"You fiend!" he yelled, swiping his sword at Ranma.

"Wait!" called out Hikaru as they all came over. Kuno turned to her. "Is it okay if I tell him everything?" she then asked Ranma.

Ranma sighed, and the others nodded. Perhaps it was for the best to make this guy in on it. It would be better than having him chasing them, wanting a date all the time.

And so Hikaru began to explain everything to him; the curses, the fact they were ponies, even the fact they were from another universe.

"And if you want to… I'm willing to show you," finished Hikaru.

"This is unbelievable," said Kuno. "Not only are you intelligent, but also a creative genius."

"What? But I just told you."

Zhang dispels it," Oh My God! I would post this video, but it would mean revealing everything about you guys, so no go."

"You don't believe her story?" asked Nabiki.

"No… of course not," replied Kuno. "Magic curses and alternate universe, these things cannot exist."

"Yet Aliens can…"

"Of course! Aliens are a proven fact of life." Truth be told, if it weren't for the fact that he was electrocuted by one once, he wouldn't have believed in them either. "But the bigger question is… why would she lie for Saotome?" He then went in for the attack, once again slicing his sword at the fiend.

"I didn't think it was possible, but he's a bigger feather brain than Derpy." said Ran with a sweat drop.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, back in Ponyville, Equestria…<p>

Derpy Hooves, the town's mailmare was carrying a wheelbarrow loaded with hammers when she sneezed, accidentally dropping the load she was carrying.

"Ow… what the hay?" she heard Spike yell from below. She had dropped her load on him.

"Oops! My bad!" the Pegasus apologized.

* * *

><p>Back on Earth…<p>

Zhang asks," So the Doo family is still alive! Glad to hear it! They're such kind fools. They still like muffins, right?"

Strange looks.

"Hey! I was alive a thousand years ago!"

Kuno continued his attacks on Ranma. "How dare you do that to her?! I will break your spell on her."

Hikaru face palmed when he said that. Momo asks," What does Kuno think Ranma does?"

Zhang says," S&M."

Mom asks,What's that?"

Zhang opens his mouth, but glares from the five other girls stop him.

"Uh... Never mind!" Zhang never knew just how bad the Stare was before then.

"Let me handle it," offered Belle as she approached Kuno, who continued to attack Ranma. She managed to reach him in spite of that, tapped him on the shoulder, and he stopped. "Excuse me. Ranma's is our friend. He doesn't have a 'spell' on anyone of us. Frankly, if you attack him for no reason that would probably give us a reason not to date you. So…"

Before she could finish, she was interrupted by Kuno. "Wouldn't want you date me? Of course you want to date me."

Belle sweat dropped. "Excuse me?"

"I am the talented Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High. You should feel honored that you would want to date me."

Belle blinked, "Excuse me… I do not want to date you. I would never want to date you. There is only person I would want to date less and he is from a different universe! You are the second most egotistical male I have ever met. No wait, scratch that. You are the most egotistical male I have ever met! I would sooner date Prince Blueblood than you! There is no way I would ever date you!"

Kuno looked at her. He looked like his brain had processed the information, then rejected it. "You… you didn't listen to any of that, did you?"

"I have to apologize… I wasn't paying attention."

_My word, Rainbow Dash was right… he is a bigger feather brain than Derpy,_ Belle thought.

Zhang turns off his mind-reading setting.

"Belle Perle, my dear, that would be an insult to that Kind Family! Never make that comparison again!"

* * *

><p>Back in Ponyville…<p>

"Thanks for your help," said Derpy as she flew above Spike while holding her cargo.

"No problem," the dragon assured her, who was fine despite the fact a wheelbarrow filled with hammers fell on him. "Thick scales, remember?" He also thought back on one time that Twilight had a flowerpot, anvil, wagon, and piano fall on her, also thanks to Derpy and her friend Raindrops.

Just then, Derpy sneezed once again, dropping the wheelbarrow again on Spike.

"You okay, Spike?!", she called, then mumbled, "I just don't know what went wrong."

Spike sighed while he lay under the wheelbarrow. He hoped the Princesses could figure out the location of Twilight the others. He knew if Pinkie was there, this wouldn't have happened.

Well, Derpy would still have dropped it, but he would have known it was coming thanks to her Pinkie Sense.

* * *

><p>Back at Furinkan High…<p>

Belle began to walk away and passed Ranma. "Ranma… I trust you can handle it," she said to him.

"Uh… yeah… sure…" he answered, appearing to be in shock.

"What's that about?" asked Akane.

"Rarity hates Marital Arts," explained Alex. "And the fact she's giving Ranma the okay to beat him up…is just plain weird."

"I see." Akane sweat dropped at that.

"I don't hate Marital Arts," Belle retorted, "I just think it's barbaric."

"Isn't that the same as hating them?" asked Momo.

"No."

Kuno entered his usual fighting stance. Ranma had to admit, it was a good stance.

Kuno quickly charged, and Ranma dodged nimbly, grabbing Kuno's wooden sword and kicking him. However, something fell out of Kuno's robes. Ranma quickly grabbed it, and saw a photo of him in girl form snoozing.

Ranma grabbed more pictures as they fell from Kuno's robes; they showed the ponies' cursed forms, Akane, and his cursed form in various activities. Kuno managed to nearly get a blow in, but Ranma ducked, and rolled out of the way... only to find his eyes were looking under Akane's skirt. "Oops." He rolls away to avoid the large hammer summoned.

Quickly recovering, Ranma continued to dodge Kuno's relentless assault. Belle noticed a nearby statue was starting to have cracks in it.

"What the..." Ran frowned.

"Whoa... The force of those blows is enough to do THAT?" Zhang suddenly looked shocked." Why! The swings from his sword must be compressing the air causing it to harden suddenly!"

Hikaru says,"But that shouldn't be possible!"

"Physics dictate otherwise."

A long, boring conversation about G-force and bone density along with strength training occur.

Ran rolls her eyes again. "Eggheads."

"Guess this jerk may be better than I thought." Ranma had just ended the fight by landing a barrage of kicks in an instant, and Kuno went down like a felled tree. Akane ran over to Ranma.

"Looks like he got you on the side here." Ranma smirked. "It was nothing."

"Does it hurt?" asked Momo as she gently touched it.

Ranma began to tear up from the injury. "No… that's fine…"

"What distracting you?" asked Shampoo.

"I think it was this," said Ran as she found the pictures and picked them up and showed it to everyone. They couldn't believe their eyes… each set had five pictures…

"Who would be taking pictures of us?" Belle wondered.

"Nabiki has been," answered Momo. They looked at all the Momo pictures and sweat dropped… in all of them, she was posing. They all, save for Momo, glared at Nabiki.

"Wait. You were taking the pictures in secret?" Everyone stared back at Momo, then back to Nabiki.

"Excuse me… I have to get back to class," she said as she then ran away as fast as her legs could carry her, not about to feel their wrath.

Once she was out of sight, Chiyo spoke up. "I think we should take Ranma to a doctor."

"I'm a doctor!" Zhang shouts.

"Can you do it?" asked Momo.

"Doctor right here!"

"Oh… I still don't know enough about human anatomy."

"I KNOW!"

"It's just a small cut," said Alex, "You worked with worse while with Pantene."

"Why can't I treat him!?"

Hikaru looks at him," Your methods are extreme."

"Fine..." Zhang mopes in a corner.

"I think going to the doctor is a good idea," suggested Akane, who wanted to go for reasons other than having to get Ranma treated.

"Oh come on!" protested Ranma. "It's not that bad!" Akane poked his side…and his scream of pain refuted his statement. "Okay…I'll go to the doctor."

Sometime after school, Akane led them to the local clinic. She introduced them Doctor Tofu Ono, the local doctor. While he was in his late 20s, he still looked pretty young and moderately charming. Zhang looks around the room scanning everything.

"This wound is very minor," said Dr. Tofu, "There's no need to worry too much." Chiyo sighed in relief as Dr. Tofu began to bandage Ranma. "So, you must be the fiancé I heard about."

"Uh… yeah…" said Ranma.

"Do you two get along?" An awkward silence ensued.

"We… we barely talk," admitted Akane as she blushed slightly.

"Why?"

"It's…complicated."

"Is it that Shampoo is from Joketsuzoku, Ranma defeated her, and because of this engagement you have to do the Heaven and Earth Solution?" the doctor asked jokingly.

"Wow… you're good," remarked Momo.

"How you know about Chinese Amazon Law?" Shampoo wanted to know.

"Nabiki told you, didn't she?" asked Ranma.

"Can I be your apprentice?" asked Zhang.

Glares for breaking the flow.

" Oh so its okay when Pinkie does it, but not me?"

"What… no… I mean… oh my god…" Dr. Tofu was at a loss for words. It was a completely wild guess. How was he to know that was exactly what happened. Also, nobody ever actually wanted to be his apprentice. Due to how he reacts when a certain lady is there. "I was joking… I didn't think that… And... Yes... No... Maybe..."

"It's okay," assured Akane. "I know. It's weird."

Zhang says," I need to train in acupuncture."

After Ranma was fully patched up, they all headed for home.

"You like him, don't you?" Belle asked Akane.

"What?"

"You have a crush on him. I'm guessing it was before all that trouble with Kuno."

Akane blushed and admitted, "I do. But he's in love with someone else, so don't try any harebrained schemes to try to get us together. Besides, I already promised I will marry Ranma."

Belle sweat dropped, "That wasn't what I was planning. I was hoping for some girl talk."

"Oh…" Akane sweat dropped at that.

Zhang mopes as Momo attempts to comfort him.

"Its going to be all right!"

"How!?" He throws his hands up in the air.

"Just be nicer."

"I am nice!"

"But Genma-Pan was screaming in pain last time."

"Fine..."

Moping continues and intensifies.

Later that evening, Akane continued her training with Cologne. It was weapons testing to which one she could train with. Using the stuffed toys that Kuno gave the ponies-tuned-humans as targets, she tested all sorts of weapons. The girls did not want the stuffed toys to be sold. Zhang cried at the thought of such excellent craftsmanship being destroyed. Until he saw the Made In China tag.

However, there was one she was most proficient in… one, it seemed like, she had training in already. The katana.

"I guess I should train you in swordsmanship then," said Cologne noting her skill in it.

"No thank you," sighed Akane, "I would prefer… the other thing you were thinking about…"

"Oh I see. It has to do with that Kuno boy." Akane's eyes widened when she said that.

"One of the reasons he fell in love with you is because of your skill with the katana isn't it?"

Akane sighed, "It is."

Cologne sighed with her, "I know you have a lot of problems with him and he did ruin your life, but I have the feeling that once word spreads about your engagement with Ranma…"

"The whole school knows about that already."

Cologne let out a laugh, "But they don't know how skilled Ranma is. Maybe once word spreads about that…" Akane sighed and shook her head. "You're still young. One day, you will look on this and laugh."

"How would you know?"

"I mentioned the founder of Anything Goes Martial Arts. I often look back and laugh." Cologne then chuckled once more, "I mean, I have no idea what I saw in him."

"Yeah right." Akane began to leave. Cologne shook her head, but she knew Akane would come around.

Later that night, after Akane took a bath, she dropped off to bed. She didn't know why but Cologne's words about Ranma rang in her head. Little did she know was that most of her problems was going to go away sooner than she thought and that it would be thanks to Ranma and Zhang's "iffy" improvements to the school.


	7. More Iffy(Dangerous) Secrets

It was morning, the sun was shining. And it looked to be a beautiful day.

"Too slow!"

Akane yawned. "Looks like Ran and Ranma are up."

Ranma quickly fell into the pool, and growled. "You win this time, Ran!"

Soon after, during breakfast, and Ranma drying off and changing back to normal, the gang were eating when Panda Genma did a cough.

"I, Genma Saotome, have a big announcement!" signed Panda Genma.

"Can you actually turn human to say it?" asked Ran, "I don't think anyone wants to take the time to read the signs." Everyone snickered at that.

Panda Genma groaned, took a kettle with hot water, and pored it onto himself, returning to his true form. "As I was saying, I have a part time job."

Cologne gave out a laugh, and then said, "My, what a coincidence. Today is the day I open my restaurant." Everyone but Shampoo and for some reason Belle looked at her in surprise. "I wanted to keep it a surprise, but I bought a restaurant that serves ramen and Chinese food."

"So does that mean you're going to be moving out?" asked Nabiki.

"While it does have an apartment, it will not be used as such."

"It's going to be used a dressmaking shop and studio," said Belle.

"That's great, Rarity!" said Hikaru in a cheer.

"I know. I already have a few offers from some of the girls at school."

"Good for you," said Alex, who seemed depressed for some reason.

"Applejack, what's wrong?" asked Momo.

Before the pony posing as an American farm girl could say anything, Hikaru suddenly yelled out, "Look at the time, we're going to be late!" And with that, she teleported out of the room.

"So…she brainwashed half the town, just to make sure a lesson wasn't turned in late…," said Akane to the other ponies turned humans.

Everyone else sweat dropped.

Momo looks around,"Where's Zhang?"

* * *

><p>Underground Somewhere...<p>

Zhang looks over the cave. He turns to the Japanese Prime Minister."Good Job!"

"Thank you, Mr. Zhang." Bows fervently. "Here are the 11 keys you requested to this room. The keys will allow you to access any of the special functions of the new and improved school."

Zhang takes them with two hands."That will be all PM."

"Thank you." Hovers.

"You're next term is secure. Do not worry." Zhang waves him off.

"Thank you! Sire!" The JPM steps into a cylinder and is teleported back to his office.

Zhang scans the robot in progress. Another flash appears. Zhang facepalms.

"Where am I?"

"I swear, you turn up in every secret base I make!" Zhang presses a button that should send him to the Dojo.

I say should because he disrupts Space-Time continuum just to go back to Tokyo Disneyland.

"ARGH!" is what Zhang will say when he checks the GPS monitor later.

* * *

><p>"You should start heading off to school," suggested Kasumi. "It is getting late."<p>

And so the eight of them (Ranma, Shampoo, Akane, Momo, Alex, Ran, Belle, and Chiyo) ran to school. Along the way, Ranma got splashed, but shortly before arrival, she used a thermos to change back. When they got to the school, they saw Hikaru seemingly waiting for them (as they weren't late yet) not only that but they saw the Hentai Horde waiting for them.

"Oh, I forgot to do my distraction," said Momo before running off a random direction.

They shrugged and got to the school gates. Akane was ready to fight as usual, but then she saw that all of them were crying.

"It's okay," assured Hikaru. "They don't want to fight."

"What… why?" asked Akane.

"Akane, we're giving you up," cried an American football player.

That's when they heard music. And Pinkie showed up, playing the Parasprite Polka.

Everyone who saw this sight sweat dropped. Save for the Hentai Horde, who either flinched or started freaking out.

"THE POLKA PONY HAS RETURNED!" yelled a sumo wrestler.

"Please tell me you see it?" asked a rugby player who appeared to be having a breakdown, "Please… we need to know if you can see it too! Please!"

"We do..." sighed Akane.

The other students began to take pictures of Pinkie Pie as she played the polka, including the Otaku boy.

Hikaru made the kill sign and Pinkie got it. She ran into a random direction and then returned less than a second later as Momo.

"That was fast," remarked Ran with a sweat drop.

"Sure was!" said Momo.

All of the Hentai Horde then turned to Ranma. "You are the best man for Akane," said the baseball player.

"Take care of her well," said a sumo wrestler.

"Wait… why are you guys stopping?" asked Akane.

That was when Kuno showed up… in bandages.

"Whoa!" gasped Momo. "Look at him! He's just like a mummy!"

"Upperclassman Kuno was our greatest fighter," explained a boxer.

"And our greatest pervert," the rugby player added under his breath.

"I will never admit defeat!" said Kuno slightly muffled. "Not to you, Ranma Saotome."

He then removed his bandages, revealing that his body was covered in bruises.

"So you're just going to ignore the bruises all over your face?" asked Ran. "That's pretty stupid."

"Oh, my beautiful rainbow-haired goddess." Kuno went in for a hug, but Ran made a quick sidestep, causing him to fall on his face.

"You know you're not my type, considering you're in love with me and my friends."

"She's right." agreed Alex. "You have to choose."

This one sentence broke Kuno, and he began to debate to himself which girl he loved the most.

"Let's go to class," said Akane as he did that.

"Good idea," agreed Ranma.

Before they take a step, a cirle in the ground opens up and Zhang in a tuxedo with sunglasses comes up. The fangirls squeal.

"Its time to meet your maker!" Zhang summons a sub-machine gun and begins blasting all of the Hentai Horde away.

"MWAHAHA!" This only causes the fan-girls to squeal harder.

Hikaru shouts," WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

"Protecting all of the girls of the school!" One last round." Should I not have done that?"

Sweatdrops all over.

Applejack slaps him."OW!"

"Don't ever do that AGAIN!"

"But you guys asked!"

"Not this! NOT KILLING PEOPLE!"

"Oh I didn't! I just simply reformatted this baby into a tranquilizer gun! Watch out!" Zhang shoves Applejack down as he takes down a revived Kuno.

Zhang whips out another gun and levels it at the downned Kuno."Any Last Words, Bastard?" Squeals.

"I LOVE ALL OF YOU EQUALLY!"

"Wrong."

One shot later and Kuno is sleeping. Zhang helps Applejack up.

As the group walks in, Zhang pulls off his shades and says," Hey! Wanna know what I got the JPM to do for us?"

Nervous nods.

* * *

><p>Later that day, during phys ed, Ranma had just finished a complicated gymnastics move.<p>

He then sat down on the ground when a classmate with greenish-black hair came over and sat down with him. His name was Daisuke.

"You are one lucky dog Ranma," he told him.

He was accompanied by a brownish-black haired boy named Hiroshi. "Yeah. Not only are you skilled, but you live in a house filled with beautiful girls and you've got a badass butler!" he said.

They then turned their attention to the girl's phys ed class, where they were playing softball.

"You know I'm just friends with most of them, right? And Zhang is not a butler." said Ranma.

Zhang sits down next to them drinking tea,"I don't know. Being a butler for you and the girls seems like fun!"

Squeals and glares.

"Yeah, yeah," agreed Hiroshi offhandedly. "So you did it yet?"

"Did what?"

"Who have you fu…" Daisuke was about to say a certain word.

Suddenly, a gun click cuts them off. Zhang smiles sweetly," Would you like to finish that sentence?"

Nervous shakes no.

"You know what?" Ranma says, blushing madly. "Let's just talk about my friends." He did not want to have THAT discussion. The three boys looked at Shampoo, who was on base.

"She's hot."

"Yeah," agreed Hiroshi. "There's just something about her." Ranma shook his head, thinking,_ Are these guys..._

Zhang who has had his MR setting on nods yes.

That was when the girl who was at bat hit the ball and sent it in the outfield, where Chiyo was playing. The pink-haired girl froze and braced herself for impact.

"You can do it Chiyo!" Zhang cups his hands over his mouth.

"I'm not one for Moe," said Daisuke.

"I think she's cute though." remarked Hiroshi. Ranma face palmed. _Yep, they're perverts._

Fortunately for Chiyo, Ran caught the ball.

"Wow… Ran is amazing. I heard that the track team has been begging her for days."

"I don't know," argued Daisuke. "She's too flat-chested for my tastes."

Ranma groaned. _Rainbow doesn't mind being petite, but I'm sure even she'd get mad at these guys._

Zhang laughs and says," I dare you to say that to her face for a hundred million yen."

Adamant headshakes no.

"No way!" A scream came. They turned to see that it was Belle's turn at bat. She looked like she didn't want to hold the bat.

"Honestly, Perle." said the gym teacher. "You have to play."

"But it's so dirty!" Belle was keeping the bat at arm's length. "Can I use something else?"

"She's beautiful…" sighed Hiroshi.

"But I don't know if I'll ever ask her out," said Daisuke. "Too high maintenance."

"I don't know she's tougher than she acts."

"Really?" Hiroshi asks.

"Yep."

Ranma stifled a snigger. _Like she'd even THINK of dating you guys... Except Zhang, but he's like a brother to them._

After some arguing, she finally went to bat and struck out, which meant the team switched. The three boys saw that it was Momo's turn at bat.

"She's cute…" sighed Hiroshi, "Not to mention her enormous..." Hiroshi winked at Daisuke, "Talent, if you know what I mean." Ranma face palmed again.

"But there's something off about her," wondered Daisuke, "Plus she's too hyperactive."

"Her baking is excellente though!" Zhang smacks his lips.

She managed to hit it to the outfield and get to first base, which Belle played.

It was Hikaru's turn at bat, although she did have to do a few things to get it right.

"So…what about her?" Daisuke asked Hiroshi.

"She is cute."

"But too much a bookworm. I mean, have you seen her during breaks? Unless someone talks to her, she's already reading ahead."

Ranma double face palmed. _Great...These guys are almost as bad as Kuno._

Zhang shakes his head no. His MR setting tells him these guys combined are three times worse. However, good thing they aren't influential.

Hikaru managed to hit the ball into the outfield, but Alex caught it. This resulted in her getting an 'out'.

"Alex is hot."

"But she's a blonde American." said his friend, "That's like saying the sky is blue. Find one that isn't, and get back to me!"

"You know, I find that highly insulting to my sister's country!" Zhang shouts.

Two stares."They're your sisters!?"

"OF COURSE! We all came from the same orphanage!"

Zhang then spins a story about how they all lived in the orphanage.

Ranma simply let out a massive groan.

On first base, Momo felt something weird.

"What's wrong?" asked Belle.

"It's a weird feeling on my butt," answered Momo.

Belle realized what it meant. "Is it where your tail should be?"

"Yes… how…" Suddenly, she realized what it meant… and whom it was for. "Ranma! Look out! Something's going to fall on you!"

The four boys just stared at her, not understanding what she meant.

"What?" asked Hiroshi.

"Is she kidding?" asked Daisuke.

_Uh-oh…_ Ranma thought. _Twitchy tail._ But before he could react, the softball hit his face bounced off and lodged itself in Zhang's open mouth.

"Sorry!" yelled Akane, who was the one at bat.

The two otakus, the boy getting water, the girls happened to running an errand for the teacher

The otaku boy said, "She should've yelled fore!"

The otaku girl dope slapped him. "That's golf!"

The otaku boy retorted, "That's where it was going to land.. the "fore" head!"

The girl stared at him, "Oh yeah, I have to take these papers to the gym teacher…" she mumbled.

"Oh come! IT was funny!" said the otaku boy.

Daisuke and Hiroshi attempt the Heimlich Removal on Zhang taking turns.

Zhang coughs it out and mutters,"Thanks!"

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Ran had decided to join the track team for one practice to try it out, while Rarity and Shampoo had work. Zhang also had... "Business" to take care of with the Yakuza. So it was Akane, Hikaru, Momo, Chiyo, and Alex who took Ranma to Dr. Tofu's. When they got there however, they had a surprise; there was a panda sweeping the walkway. But it wasn't just any panda.<p>

"Pop?" asked Ranma.

Seriously, why would a panda even do that unless they were Genma? After all, there are probably laws against forcing endangered species into labor.

"Who knows?" Momo replied to the remaker. "Rule of funny?"

Everyone else stared at her for a moment, then shrugged it off.

Ranma smirked. "Pay up, Twilight. I knew he'd be here."

Hikaru handed Ranma a 500 yen coin, grumbling.

"You bet that I would be working here?" signed Panda Genma.

"Dr. Tofu seems to be the only one unfazed by everything going on." Said Hikaru.

"I see…" signed Panda Genma.

"Oh, hello," said Dr. Tofu. "I see you met my new assistant, Mr. Saotome."

"Actually, Ranma's my son," signed Panda Genma.

"Oh, is that so?"

"You know about Jusenkyo, don't you?" inquired Ranma.

"Yes, I do."

"Then why are you letting him be a panda while he's working?" asked Alex.

"There's no harm in it."

Well, if there are animal rights protestors showing up..., I suppose I could summon-

"No need to worry about that!," replied Momo hurriedly, earning her stares from the others once again.

"Who is she talking to?" asked Ranma.

"I don't know…" sighed Hikaru.

They went into the waiting room while Dr. Tofu got the balm he needed ready. That was when the phone rang. Panda Genma picked it up, causing everyone to sweat drop, and Ran to face palm.

"That's right!" signed Panda Genma. "Panda's don't talk!"

Akane, having grown up in the neighborhood and being well known, picked up the phone. "Can I help you?" she asked. Her eyes then widened. "Oh yes. I'll tell him you're coming over. Bye." She hung up the phone, looking a little concerned. Then again, what was going to happen wasn't going to end well.

That was when Momo's right arm suddenly began to move uncontrollably.

"Momo, what's wrong?" asked Akane.

"Oh just the Pinkie Sense," Momo suddenly turned serious with the air turning black around her "This one means that someone will be in a lot of pain and there's no stopping it."

Everyone froze and gaped when she said that.

"Who… who is it?" asked Chiyo.

"Ranma."

"Great…" grumbled Ranma. "Why is it always me?"

"It's not always you. It's just today. Usually, it happens to Twilight." Momo suddenly shifting moods.

"Please don't bring that up," sighed Hikaru. I do not need to remember getting hit with everything but the kitchen sink.

"Wait… I don't get it." said Akane.

"I have the ability to predict the future," Momo explained. "For example, if my tail twitches (or my butt in human form), it means something is going to fall just like with what happened earlier."

"Considering who's going to show up, I wouldn't be surprised if you can predict the future."

Everyone sweat dropped when she said that.

Not too long later, Dr. Tofu began to examine the mark the ball left. "Judging by how deep the stitching is, the patterns of the bruises it was Akane who hit the ball," he guessed.

Everyone sweat dropped. "You're joking, right?" asked Hikaru.

"I was right again, wasn't I?"

Everyone nodded. It was getting weird. Dr. Tofu laughed nervously and sweat dropped with the others.

"Akane, what was that phone call about?" asked Alex.

"What?"

"After the phone call, the Pinkie Sense went off," said Hikaru, "It's connected, isn't it?"

Akane sighed, "Did any of you overhear the conversation I had with Rarity last night?"

"Oh the one about you having a…" Momo said, but was cut off by Akane, who put a hand over her mouth.

"Yes, that one."

"What are you talking about?" Alex wanted to know.

"You see, Dr. Tofu is in love with…" Before she could finish her sentence, Kasumi came into the room. The second he saw her, Dr. Tofu's glasses fogged over…and that was when he began to act strangely, even by Pinkie Pie standards. He kept mistaking someone for someone else (or in one case, mistaking his model skeleton which he named Betty for a living person). He mistook Kasumi's gift (a plate of cookies) for a mask (the handkerchief covering them). Then he began to eat the plate they came on.

Of course, in his state, Dr. Tofu wasn't the best doctor. As a matter of fact, he couldn't even be described as a doctor at this point. How bad was it? He bent Ranma's neck. In a way it shouldn't be bent, how bad was it, the let's say the normal human head is a 90 degree angle… it was bent below 0.

"Ranma… are you okay?" asked Chiyo.

"I am in a lot of pain," Ranma deadpanned, trying to keep calm about it.

"Oh let me fix that," said Dr Tofu.

He proceeded to straighten his neck, then bend it the other way (the degree was higher than 180), making Chiyo go pale and shake with fright.

"Maybe you should get Fluttershy out of here," Ranma suggested.

With that, Ranma's friends all left, praying he'll survive this ordeal, and that what just happened would be the worst. That is, hopefully there wouldn't be anything worse than the neck bending.

The girls left the clinic…only to find that a crowd had gathered just outside, most of them old people who had appointments that day.

"You're not surprised about this, are you?" asked Hikaru.

"This happens a lot," said Akane. "Whenever my sister visits, expect this to happen."

They pushed their way though the crowd, all of them whispering prayers to protect the poor fool was being treated at that moment.

"What going on?" a voice came. The girls turned to see Shampoo on a bicycle.

"You don't wanna know," answered Alex.

* * *

><p>At that time, Zhang deals with the Yakuza boss.<p>

Behind him is a trail of bodies, all of them still bu not dead. Zhang sighs. He likes to fight, but he doesn't like beating up weaklings and needless harm.

"So, you want us to annul all of the debts and bounties out for the Saotome Family and the Tendo Family?"

Nod.

"HAHAHA! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE THEY HAVE CAUSED US OVER THE YEARS!?" The boss slams his hands on the table in rage.

"I do, Mr. Yakitori. However, I am merely proposing a trade."

"And what is that trade, Mr. Just barge in and take down all of my men!"

"Alliance to the Chinese Mafia."

A spit in Zhang's face. "We Japanese are far superior to the Chinese!"

Zhang grows frustrated." I'll even throw in the Threatbook!"

"We'll take the Threatbook, but not if it means Alliance to the Amazons!"

Zhang counts to ten." Just annul them and agree to the Goddamn CONTRACT!"

Zhang roars like a dragon.

Mr. Yakitori grins nastily," Do it!" Boiling water is poured onto Zhang, hot enough to melt the skin off a human being.

Mr. Yakitori smiles at the continuing waterfall," Too bad for you, but we'll also be taking the nice girls that live with the families too."

A claw reaches out and grabs the Yakuza. A dragon head comes out," You were saying Mr. Yakitori?"

Mr. Yakitori chokes out and motions for the guards to shoot.

Bullets fly out and bounce off.

Silver laughs and sings Titanium as he jumps out of the 20th floor of the building.

He says," Now, Let us discuss this like gentlemen shall we?"

Silver lands on a cloud.

Mr. Yakitori spits," NEVER!"

Silver smiles," A 1000 years of living in this world has tortured my soul beyond repair, my dear Yakitori-san. I have no qualms of klling evil men such as you."

So saying, he drops the former Yakuza boss down one of the few active volcanoes in Japan.

"I suppose grilled bird isn't that tasty anymore."

He flies back to claim his position.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, in the Tendo residence, Akane was outside of the dojo, chopping some blocks in half.<p>

"Want to spar?" a voice suddenly came out of nowhere. Akane turned to see Alex in her gi.

"Sure."

Akane started by charging at Alex, who dodged and countered with a high kick. Akane caught it, and Alex went, "Oops." After being thrown into a wall, Alex landed another kick. Akane quickly grabbed Alex's legs. "No more kicks!" Alex simply head butted Akane, who let go, and was dazed.

Akane said, "Okay, Okay... draw." Alex quickly poured hot water on herself, and became her normal self again.

"What's wrong, Applejack?" asked Akane as the two wandered about in the residence.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been down today. Do you have a problem?"

Applejack sighed, "Remember what we told you about cutie marks?" Akane nodded. "I'm the only one…who can't do her special talent while we're here."

"It has to do with apples, don't they?" Applejack gave her a deadpan look that indicated that that was obvious. "Sorry… stupid question." Akane laughed, a small sweat drop on her head.

"Back home, my family runs an apple orchard, Sweet Apple Acres. The best in Equestria, if I do say so myself."

"Your cutie mark is about gathering apples, is it?" asked Akane.

Applejack nodded. "Everypony else… Rainbow Dash's is about her love for speed."

Speaking of which… Rainbow Dash showed up. Well, in her human form, that is. "Hey guys," she said. "I just wanted to give you the heads up that I have joined the track team."

Akane and Applejack exchanged looks. "That was weird timing," remarked Applejack.

"Yeah." agreed Akane.

Applejack gave out another sigh, "Fluttershy's is her ability to befriend animals."

Meanwhile, at the garden, said Pegasus was singing with birds that flew in. Not only were the birds flying, but many of them were singing along with her.

_It's like a Disney movie…_ Akane thought with a sweat drop.

"Twilight's is magic, Rarity has her dress making… and Pinkie… You know… I've never known what Pinkie's special talent is. I think it's either party planning or making ponies happy."

That was when Pinkie ran into the room, yelling, "I just saw the coolest show! It was about a pirate, and he can stretch, and he wore a straw hat, and he beat up all these bad pirates! And it was awesome!" She then ran off to tell Fluttershy… and inadvertently scare off the birds singing with her.

"That makes so much sense…" Akane then got a massive sweat drop on her head.

"It's not just that. You see I'm honest by nature. I'm a terrible liar, and if I didn't lie, I'd probably run away just to keep it a secret." Applejack seemed to be trembling now. "I hate the fact that I turn human and I hate the fact that I have to pretend to be some girl from who knows where. I feel like I'm lying to myself." Applejack slammed a hoof into the ground. "I hate having to lie like this! It's just… not me!"

Akane bent down, and looked Applejack in the eyes, "Don't worry, it will be fine." She then gave a gentle smile, "I know Twilight is working on curing the curse and even a way home. It might take a while, but I know she can do it."

"Thanks, Akane. I really needed to hear that." And from this point forth, the two became very close friends.

* * *

><p>Slightly important moment...<p>

Nabiki is in her room when she is teleported into a building. Zhang sits on an impressive chair.

Nabiki stays calm and asks,"What do you want Zhang?"

A Mafia minion charges,"Don't disrespect the Boss!"

Nabiki shows an uncharacteristic change in posture easily flipping the minion.

Zhang speaks softly," How long have you had to do this?"

Nabiki freezes and coldly glares," Do what?"

"Deal with the Yakuza?"

"What do you mean?"

Zhang stands up and bellows," Leave us!"

"But-" A man steps up.

"Leave."

"...Hai."

Nabiki stares at the respect the man five times the size of Zhang gives him.

"What did you do?"

" Solve all of your problems. Answer my question now."

"Nev-"

"We both know that isn't true. My glasses have a setting that allows me to see things normally unseen. When I first attempted to read your mind... All I saw was a black miasma which I thought was greed. I then filtered it some more. I saw your pain. I saw everything that makes you act the way you do."

The cold demeanor doesn't break."I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mr. Yakitori is dead."

A reaction.

"I see you know of him. I killed him."

"He deserved it."

"I know." A look.

"Fine. I've been doing this for 5 years. Ever since they sent people to tear down the dojo. What was I supposed to do!? They were going to take me and Kasumi and Akane away from our home! I had to make a deal!"

"And that deal was 60 million yen..."

"Yes."

Zhang smiles," Well, No problem! No worries!"

"You bastard!" Nabiki slaps him.

"You'll be hugging me after I finish saying my-OW!"

.Slap.

Zhang grabs her hand and she struggles.

"Calm down!"

"No! You're going to hunt us again!"

"That's IT! YOU'RE THE NEW HEAD OF THE YAKUZA GROUP!"

The minions charge in," BUT BOSS!"

"No buts! Nabiki is more than capable of this! If she is boss, then your influence will spread to the underground gangs of the schools. Not to mention the fact that she has 8 cute girls living with her! I'm sure sh'll be happy to sell pictures of them to you! Also, I'm weaker than her."

Nabiki is shocked. She whispers,"Why are you doing this?"

"Cause I'm crazy!" He smiles and whispers,"Don't worry, I burned all traces of the contract, so you can go into business. Tell Kasumi and Akane to meet on the roof tonight at 12'O clock. You come too.

He turns to the men.

"As of now, we're going back to school! I expect you all to do good in secret! In five years time she'll take over! I leave you Udon in charge!"

The man five time his size salutes."HAI!"

"Good! Remember, do good in secret!"

He grabs hold of the shocked Nabiki and teleports to the dojo.

* * *

><p>In the room where Twilight uses to examine the water, she was helping Ranma, who had returned home. Ranma's neck was still bent in its strange awkward position. Then again, something like that is not easily fixed… or even easily done. It's best not known how Dr. Tofu did that.<p>

"Okay, take a deep breath. This might hurt," warned Twilight.

"Twi… I'm already in a lot of pain," replied Ranma. "Whatever you do probably won't hurt as much as this."

"Oh, right…" Her horn glowed and Ranma's neck glowed in the same aura. It was then properly straightened. "It might be sore for a few days," she told him.

"After that, I think I can handle it. Thanks Twilight."

She nodded in reply. "Could you please close the door? I have to change…"

Ranma nodded in response, knowing what she meant. As he left the room, he ran into Akane, who was headed to the bathroom. "Oh, hey. I was thinking about talking to you about something."

"I'm sorry about the ball…" Akane began with a sweat drop.

"It's not about that."

"What about, then?"

"I've been thinking…we don't know each other that well, so I was thinking we should go out on a date."

Akane stared at him, then said with a shrug, "Well you did stop the horde. So, why not?"

Ranma blinked at that. "Okay…how about Sunday?"

"Sure."

Soun and Genma were listening. They smiled… And got bonked on the noggin by Cologne.

"What was that for?" asked Genma.

"Please don't meddle in their affairs, if you do, then they will only pull apart." She said.

Genma and Cologne began to glare at each other, causing Soun to sweat drop.

And so Ranma and Akane would go out on their first date…but it was only Tuesday…so it was still a few days away. Who knows what would happen before then?


	8. Preparations For Assassinations!

In classroom 1F of Furinkan High…

Akane was in a good mood. For the first time in months, she didn't have to fight the Hentai Horde… Well, she didn't have to fight them yesterday, but this was the first time she didn't have to deal with them at all. This was going to be a good day in school, she could feel nothing weird was going to happen.

"What?! You only found out about ONE PIECE?!" yelled the otaku boy. Then again, with this school, something else weird was going to happen.

"So, what's the problem?" asked Momo.

"How can you not know about One Piece? I mean, it's everywhere! TV, comics, movies, magazine covers, amusement parks, boats... I mean, it's the king of anime right now! And one of the most popular manga of all time, if not the most popular! It would be like one of your friends asking what Harry Potter is…"

"Harry Potter?" Hikaru asked Ranma.

The otaku boy turned to Hikaru. "I heard that!" He turned to face Momo again. "Well… that's a conversation for another day! She does look like the type to become a Harry Potter fan…"

"So…I take it he's the class Otaku…" said Ranma with a sweat drop.

"He wants to make a dating sim based on us," replied Akane with a bigger sweat drop. "I think that goes without saying."

"Say, Momo." The otaku boy sat down on his seat, "Would you be interested in any other series?"

"What kind of series?"

"Well of course I'm going to lend you some One Piece." He placed the first five volumes of the manga on the desk. "I'm also going to lend Sailor Moon, that's a classic. Lucky Star's good. I'll also add Haruhi Suzumiya since the two tend to go hand and hand. You need a harem one in there so I think Tenchi would suit you as it's also a classic. Azumanga Daioh would suit you well… Don't know why, but I'd like you to try Pichi Pichi Pitch as well." The otaku boy then looked at the large stack of manga he was about to offer to Momo. "I think that's good for now…"

Everyone in the room sweat dropped at the size of the stack.

Hikaru looked unsure about the otaku boy's more than generous offer. "Are you sure it's a good idea to lend those? I mean, what if she loses them?"

"Don't worry! Those are my lending copies."

"Lending copies?"

"One to own, one to collect and one to lend out."

Any sweat drops in the room got bigger. They had no idea that the class otaku was at that level of otaku…

Applejack looks around and asks," Where's Zhang?"

* * *

><p>Secret Cave...<p>

Zhang forges a sword. He sighs and mutters a spell.

_When the sorrow of three sisters are joined together_

_When the Eldest hides _Steady Earth__

_The Second hides Cooling Water_

_And The Third hides __Burning Fire_

_I forge this sword in the name of Three!_

Zhang fires it one more time, hammers it one more time, and cools it one more time. Exhaustion overtakes him as he finishes sheathing it.

He mutters,"I'm going to cut that useless father and he's going to know the pain his daughters went through." Snore.

What happened last night?

* * *

><p><em>Flashback<em>

_Nabiki leads her sisters on to the roof._

_Akane asks,"Why are we going up to the roof?"_

_"Zhang wants to speak to us."  
><em>

_Kasumi wonders," Why at midnight?"_

_"I don't know."_

_Akane asks," Why did you accept his deal?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"Then why?" asks Kasumi._

_"I trust him."_

_They are now at the rooftop._

_"We're here." shouts Nabiki._

_"Made it!" Zhang falls headfirst onto the roof."OW!"_

_Akane whispers," Are you sure we can trust him?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You wound me, Akane! After all, I took down the Yakuza!" Zhang exclaims._

_"What!?" Akane yells. Kasumi only seems mildly surprised._

_Zhang raises his hand for calm. "Relax... You'll never have to worry about money again! Only your father."_

_"What do you mean?" says Kasumi calmly._

_Zhang conjures a tea table with four cups of tea._

_"Come. All will be explained."_

_As soon as they sit, a cloud floats them up. Nabiki is as calm as usual, Kasumi is just... Kasumi, and Akane panics slightly before calming down._

_"Now, let us discuss the familial situation before we came."_

_Thus begins an analysis where Soun just mopes and the daughters take care of everything. Kasumi is the housetaker, Nabiki is the manager who has had to deal with the Yakuza, and Akane is Dojo Sensei slash defender._

_Akane begins to get ready to tackle Zhang when he says," But I fixed everything! Nabiki is now the new head of the Yakuza and I fade away!"_

_"What do you mean?" Kasumi asks slightly worried._

_Zhang looks at Kasumi with a sorrowful glance,"I'm sorry, but all of you are in too deep. The only way to be safe was to become a shark."_

_Kasumi nods understandingly._

_"On the bright side, all I need is a little of your souls for a weapon that would forever protect you and all that you love!" Zhang smiles brightly._

_Akane shakes her head," NOT IN THIS LIFE!"_

_"Then how about the next?"_

_All three sisters suddenly black out._

_The last thing they hear is,"I'm sorry, but you won't remember this conversation."_

* * *

><p><span><strong>Tadbit morbid, but it'll be happy soon!<strong>

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Ryoga was lost. Then again, he's been lost for the past week so it's normal. However, he had managed to get word that the school that they were attending was Furinkan High from some random guy in a black suit. So he was looking for both the Tendo Dojo and Furinkan High. That was when he asked some random guy in a black suit.<p>

"Do you know where either Furinkan High or the Tendo Dojo is?", he asked. He was answered with a motion to look at a sign… which clearly read "Furinkan High". "I'm here."

That was when noticed that classes in school have ended and the students were headed home. Right away, he noticed a certain group. And Chiyo was among them. Ryoga swallowed, called out her name, and ran over to her.

As he runs over, the man in black pulls out a walkie-talkie," Mission accomplished... Hai! Thank you Mrs. Nabiki!" He leaves silently.

"Ryoga!" Chiyo was happy to see him. "I've been so worried about you."

"Yeah." Ryoga blushed slightly.

"Oh, here!" Ryoga gives Chiyo the Fluttershy doll he got from the rat.

Chiyo also blushes and whispers,"Thanks..."

Awkward silence.

"Um… Ryoga… we're all here too," Ranma voiced out.

Ryoga sweat dropped when he realized that "Sorry…"

"So…where you've been?" asked Ran.

"Oh just around, Osaka, Zhang's new base, Sapporo, Area 51, Okinawa…"

"How did he get to Okinawa?" wondered Akane.

Zhang scratches his head," I knew you were at my new base, but Area 51?"

The otaku pair is frantically taking pictures of Ryoga. Ryoga notices that reaction, but ignores it.

"I have no idea… and it wasn't the first time," Ranma said with a shrug. "He wound up lost five times when we went to school together."

"I was so worried about you," said Chiyo.

"You were?" asked Ryoga.

Chiyo nodded with a smile and that made Ryoga blush again. All of a sudden, he drew the umbrella he always carried and blocked an attack… which came from Kuno.

"Who are you, knave?" asked the idiotic kendōka. "And how dare you talk to the fair Chiyo."

Ryoga turned to his friends, all of them with looks on their faces that said 'Not this again.' Due to the regularity of Kuno doing something like this.

"Who is he?" Ryoga asked with a sweat drop.

Hikaru didn't know how to put it, but she answered, "Kuno. He's in Nabiki's class…"

"Can I snipe him?" mutters Zhang.

No.

"Come on!"

Awkward looks at him.

"What!? Its okay when Momo breaks the fourth wall, but not me?"

Yes.

"NOT HELPING!" Zhang attempts to snipe something unseen. Momo joins in just for fun.

"He's deluded himself into thinking we're all in love with him," added Belle.

Ryoga nodded in understanding, his sweat drop getting bigger.

"How dare you talk to them as if you know them!" yelled Kuno.

"Um... Kuno, we've known him longer than you have," said Alex.

"Is this true?" Ranma and company nodded in response. "I see. However, I can't stand to see these fine ladies near someone like you." Kuno turned to face Ryoga. "What is your name?"

"Ryoga Hibiki." Kuno took out a piece of paper, wrote something on it, and then threw it at him. "What this?", Ryoga asked as he caught the paper.

"An official challenge letter for a duel."

"I accept."

Everyone in the group save for Akane groaned.

"This going to be stupid," said Shampoo.

"Yes it is!" said Zhang who has given up shooting the narrator and was filming the whole conversation going on just now.

* * *

><p>Later…<p>

They all decided to talk about in Cologne's new restaurant: The Cat Café. In the window was a sign that read, "For dress shop, inquire in back."

"Seriously? You named it that?" Ranma asked.

"Great-grandmother thought it would be a cute name," answered Shampoo.

"Oh, come on, Ranma.", assured Momo. "I'm sure there won't be any kitties in there."

Ranma glared at Momo when she said that who could only laugh.

Akane looked at Ranma and asked, "What was that about?"

"Best you don't know," Alex told her.

"But..."

Zhang shakes his head," Really, ignorance is bliss! Curiousity doth kill the cat!"

A very deadly glare from Shampoo.

Whimpers,"And big mouths kill dragons."

They all went inside the restaurant, which had the menu items on the walls, and could fit a couple dozen people though the place.

"Welcome to Cat Café," said Cologne. "Oh, Ryoga, you've returned."

They sat down and were offered free food. There they told Cologne about the oncoming duel.

"So you've received a challenge from Kuno," she said. "I've heard a lot about him. Still haven't seen him myself."

"Do you want us to take you to the fight tomorrow?" Alex asked.

"No, I'll be fine," assured Ryoga. Everyone sweat dropped when he said that; they all knew he couldn't find his way out of a walk in closet, let alone make it the next day on his own.

"Ryoga…" Ranma sighed. "You know when we were in school, your mom was so worried about you that they had to made me take you home everyday you attended school."

"That's not true. There are days that my parents picked me up."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't return to school until a week later."

"From what we've heard, Ryoga's parents are just as bad," Alex whispered to Akane.

Zhang whispers,"They're worse. Last I heard they got to Milliways. They got lost in Space AND Time."

Akane nodded, somehow not surprised about this fact.

"It's not that bad," insisted Ryoga.

"Not that bad?" asked Ran. "You did a straight U-turn back to the Amazon Village after a day of trying to escape it! AND you lost me and Alex!"

"If it weren't for Zhang, who knows what would have happened to them." said Ranma.

"My sense of direction isn't that bad." Ryoga was persistent. It was times like this that he was too prideful to admit he needed help with his predicament.

"I don't know why… but I'm getting a case of déjà vu," Hikaru said as she then turned to face Alex, remembering the "baked bads" and "bunny stampede".

"Why are you looking at me?" Alex asked with a sweat drop.

Ranma sighed and said, "I think it's time to break it you." He always knew this day would come… the day where he would have to tell Ryoga the thing he had been hiding for years. "You're an internet celebrity."

"What?" asked Ryoga.

"I KNEW IT!" Zhang cheers until a hot broth of soup turns him chibi-dragon."COME ON! Stupid narrator."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the quarters used by the Kendo Team, a first year student knocked on the door.<p>

"I'm meditating in here!" yelled Kuno.

"Sorry. I wanted to talk to you about something."

Kuno groaned. "Fine… come in."

The kendo team member sweat dropped at he saw the walls. Covering them were posters of the eight "girls" he was in love with. "Okay… that's not creepy."

"What do you want?"

"Is it true you're fighting Ryoga Hibiki?"

"Yes, that is his name. Why?"

"You have no idea who he is, do you?" He then took out his iPhone, opened up a website, and showed it to Kuno, who sweat dropped at the information he saw.

* * *

><p>Back at the Cat Café, Belle was using a laptop that Cologne bought for her business. But she was having difficulties with the computer.<p>

"No that's not it…" she complained. "I didn't mean to click on that… why won't this close?" Computers like that didn't exist in Equestria (well they did, Twilight owned one but it wasn't the type of computers humans had), so naturally she'd have problems. After several minutes, Belle finally got to the site Ranma was telling them about. "Where on Earth is Ryoga Hibiki?"

"Who made the site again?" asked Ryoga.

"I think it was some members of the computer club at our old school," answered Ranma, "You know, I'm surprised they didn't use a version of that Carmen Sandiego theme from American Show."

"I see." Mumbled Ryoga with a sweat drop.

"There are pictures from all over Japan and a few from other places. I don't know if it's still updating… It's been a while since I've seen it."

"It is," said Belle. "The latest update was today."

The newest picture was of a blushing Ryoga handing the Plush Fluttershy to Chiyo.

"Hey, there's pictures from last week!" said Momo. "Akihabara, Osaka, Manila, oh…"

"What's wrong?" asked Hikaru.

"He was seen at Tokyo Disneyland during the week." After hearing about the famous theme park, she's been wanting to go.

"Somehow, I wound up there," sighed Ryoga. "I didn't even pay for it."

"So basically you broke into Disneyland?" asked Ranma with a sweat drop.

"I think so…"

"If I were you, I wouldn't go anywhere near Chiba for a while…" suggested Akane.

"Or even go any where near a Disney store," added Ran.

Ryoga couldn't help but sweat drop.

Zhang points at the picture with a selfie of him and a rat. "Where did you get that?"

Ryoga sweat-drops and he mumbles," I got the Plush for Chiyo from it. I don't know why it just wanted a selfie with me. It was really nice, helped me back up from underneath the ground."

Zhang turns triumphantly around,"I TOLD YOU! I told you that those plushies were a rare kind made by underground rats."

All sweat drop.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at a store that sold camping supplies, Kuno had bought a tent.<p>

"So I'm guessing you're going on a training journey," said the clerk. He lived in Furinkan, and it was rare to find someone to who was actually going camping.

"No… I have challenged Ryoga Hibiki to a duel, and I must wait for him," Kuno replied. He realized if what that website said was true, it would take days—a week at most—to wait for him.

"Excuse me for a moment." The clerk went to another area of the store, somewhere he felt Kuno couldn't hear him. "Hey, Satoshi!" he yelled. "That guy just challenged Ryoga Hibiki to a duel."

That was when Kuno heard uproarious laughter, and he began to get angry, taking out his cell phone to call someone.

Little did the store clerks know was that their store would soon go out of business due to certain reasons… reasons involving insulting a member of one of the richest families in Japan.

Of course, the footage from inside the camera store was going onto a newly made website. Also, the store would reopen and expand under the name of the Nandemoari(Anything Goes) Yakuza group.

TAKE THAT KUNO!

* * *

><p>Sometime later, Chiyo and Ryoga were talking just outside the Cat Café. Why? Because Ryoga decided to go to the duel on his own.<p>

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Chiyo hugging the plushie.

"I'm sure," answered Ryoga. "If I was able to survive the last few days with my curse, I'm sure I can survive as long as possible."

"That's good." Chiyo gave a gentle smile. "I've been worrying about you a lot."

Ryoga couldn't help but blush when she said that. "I'll see you soon, Chiyo."

"Wait. Pinkie Pie had started spreading word of our real names around, stating that they're nicknames. So you don't have to call me Chiyo all the time."

"Thanks for letting me know… Fluttershy." Chiyo blushed slightly at that.

Ryoga then walked away in some random direction. Seriously, it was a random direction. He just chose to walk that way. He knew it was the wrong way, but he didn't care. He also knew it was going to bite him in the butt later.

Silver-chibi notices this and phones Nabiki,"Get your men into position, P-chan has left the base."

* * *

><p>Through a window in the Café, Akane, Belle, and Momo were watching the scene.<p>

"Does she like him back?" asked Akane.

"We're not sure," answered Belle.

"She's always like that. Not even Rarity can tell… and they're best friends," said Momo.

"I see," replied Akane.

"What are you doing?" asked Hikaru as she came over. The three girls sweat dropped as they stopped spying.

"Nothing!" Akane almost yelled out.

"Not certainly spying on the two if they like each other, because that would be absurd," denied Belle.

Hikaru could only sweat drop as a response to that, clearly not convinced. Hikaru turns and looks at Silver.

"What are YOU doing?"

"Sending out coordinates to Nabiki. I just instated her as the new head of a Yakuza group that's been bothering both families. We now have enough resources to subtly guide Ryoga back to Furinkan. Before all I could do was know where he was. Sometimes, he beats the system though."

Sweat-drop and slowly stepping back.

* * *

><p>That night at the Tendo Household…<p>

Soun and Panda Genma, who were playing Go, were staring at Pinkie Pie, who was reading the pile of manga she was loaned. History's Strongest Disciple Kennichi in particular, which she was really enjoying.

"This is so funny!" the pink earth pony laughed. "There's a boy like Fluttershy in here but instead of the animals liking him, they hate him."

"She's going to be one of those weird Otakus… isn't she?" asked Soun.

"You got that right," signed Genma in agreement. "Then again, aren't all Otaku weird?"

"I guess you have a point."

"Says the useless father," Zhang says. Soun turns around to be met with a slash from the newly made sword!

Pinkie Pie tackles Zhang and pours cold water on him. He is then tied up by Applejack and Rainbow Dash who were playing the newly installed Wii console.

Genma-Pan checks Soun for any injuries. He signs angrily," What were you thinking?"

No response as his mouth was duct-taped by Pinkie.

Applejack shakes her head and says,"Get Twilight down here."

Panic and 11 keys fall out of his side.

Rainbow Dash grabs these and ask,"And what are these?"

Eye-roll.

Ripped off Duct Tape.

"OW!"

"Those keys were presents for the Six of you, Ryoga, Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, and Shampoo to get into the secret base underneath the school!" Says Storm cheerfully.

Twilight levitates him," More importantly, WHY DID YOU CUT UP SOUN!?"

"He needed to see the pain his daughters went through after he became useless."

"HOW IS CUTTING HIM UP DOING THAT!?"

Storm laughs.

Slam.

"Ow. OK! You might want to get Akane and Kasumi down here. Nabiki too if you can."

"You better have a bloody good reason for this" growls Applejack.

"I do. Can you put me down now? All the bloods rushing to my head."

"No."

* * *

><p>In the Meeting Room...<p>

Storm is bound in purple chains. The Mane Six surround him as do the three sisters. Ranma Saotome and Genma-Pan are off to the side taking care of Soun Tendo.

Kasumi starts off," Why did you cut up Father?"

"For the exact reasons, he is one."

Akane: WHY!?

Storm: He wasn't much of one, now was he!

Applejack: What do you mean?

Storm: Should a father no be the one taking care of the children and not vice versa?

Kasumi defends Soun," Don't-"

Storm sighs," You and I both know that's not true. Your soul told me otherwise."

Twilight wonders," Her soul?"

"Yep! Slight necromatic properties were in that sword that I slashed him with."

"Necromancy!"

"Of a sort!"

Rainbow Dash: Why don't we just lock him up?

Applejack: Calm down!

Arguments break out with even Kasumi joining in. Only Nabiki and Storm stay calm.

Nabiki asks," Was that what you needed to make the sword?"

Storm is mildly surprised," I should have known you would have smelt the agent in the tea."

"You never drink Earl Grey I noticed, so I reasoned you would have given it as a sleeping agent."

"You'll make an excellent boss."

After some debate, it is decided Storm will stay in a prison, he ironically created. Twilight and Rarity also added dual barriers.

* * *

><p>Before that depressing mess...<p>

Nabiki headed for the large guest room and knocked on the door.

"It's open!" came Rarity's voice.

Nabiki opened the door and saw her in unicorn form working on designs for dresses.

"So you bring your work home with you?" asked Nabiki.

"Of course. Since I don't live in the dress shop like I did back in Ponyville."

Nabiki sat down close to the unicorn. "Rarity, I have an idea. A small business venture."

"What sort of business venture?" Rarity was feeling unsure about Nabiki. After all, she heard that Nabiki ran a black market at school. Just now, she also finds out she is in training to be in charge of one of the largest Yakuza groups ever.

"Akane told me about Ryoga's celebrity status and the whole school already knows about the duel. I was thinking that we join forces to make t-shirts."

"T-shirts?" Rarity was unsure about the idea.

"Yes. The school is getting wise to my betting rings."

"You also run betting rings?"

Nabiki attempted to change the subject. "That's besides the point. Besides, I'm sure it will spread word of your dress shop."

"Fine… I'm not sure about this idea, but I do need more clients. Deal…"

The two then looked at each other's… well, limb. "Should I shake your hoof?" asked Nabiki.

"That might be a good idea," replied Rarity. The two then shook hand to hoof.

At that very moment, there was a unified shudder from everyone in Furinkan, its neighboring districts, the entire world it was a part of, and the world of Equestria because of how paradoxical the following situation is: The living embodiment of greed (as a couple of Nabiki's classmates called her) and the Spirit of Generosity (as was Rarity's title in Canterlot) have agreed to make t-shirts together. While the t-shirts part may sound strange, what's paradoxical about this is that two individuals with contrasting moral standings (and business ethics) have agreed to work together on a business venture.

It's a miracle the universe hasn't imploded at this point.

"I would disagree."

Shutup Silver. Shouldn't you be in prison right now.

"No! And also chronologically this was before me going into jail."

What do you want!?

"One snipe at Kuno."

Not at the fight. And how are you going to do that from jail.

"Aww... Fine. Besides, you could always put me in a high jail where I can snipe him."

Hmm... I do want to see him sniped. Ok! I put you in a high jailing place and have you snipe him! Deal?

"Deal!"

* * *

><p>The next day at school, Momo returned more than half the manga she borrowed…<p>

"You read all of this last night?" the otaku boy gasped in shock. "It's a good thing I brought some more then."

A short while later, Momo now had a massive pile, which was much bigger than the last one.

The otaku girl simply said, "Heavy, man."

"Aren't you in another class?" asked Ranma.

"Running errands for the club I'm in… I have to double check some things with him." She said pointing to the otaku boy,

Ranma nodded…

The otaku boy began to speak again.

"I think Slayers would be a good one. If you want more Magical Girl, here's Shugo Chara and Tokyo Mew Mew. Bleach and Naruto are good too. Oh, and I think Negima should be added; after all, it goes from Harem to Action that you won't even notice. Can't forget Ah! My Goddess, also a classic. And I'll finish it off with Detective Conan, and some works from CLAMP like Card Captor Sakura and Magic Knight Rayearth…"

"She's going to introduce this thing to Equestria, isn't she?" asked Belle with a large sweat drop.

"Looks like it," replied Ran with a massive sweat drop.

Hikaru sits at her desk thinking about what Storm said yesterday.

"What's bothering you Twi?"

"Storm. I don't know how, but if what he says is true he could have killed them!"

* * *

><p>In Jail...<p>

"Whoop! I can see where Kuno is camping!" Storm rubs his hooves gleefully.

"Ahchoo!"

Storm scratches his head," Feels like somebody is wondering about my secrets!"

"Ahchoo!"

"Or I could be catching a cold."

His IDS pocket does not work there.

"Oh come ON!stupid narrator..."

Fine... I'll be nice. You can communicate via those Keys they took out of curiosity.

* * *

><p>Back at School...<p>

Alex sighs,"I don't think he's that bad."

"But what if Soun never wakes up."

A new voice," Oh, he will. And he will wake up a changed man!"

They look for the new voice.

"Look at your key!"

They lift up Hikaru's key and see Storm's face smiling.

They hide it quickly. Alex hisses," Why are you here?"

"I'm still at home." He shows them the jail and the two pulsing barriers."My own genius shocks me at times!"

Hikaru asks," What were you thinking!?"

Storm's face grows serious, then he laughs."I'm sorry. Just I can't take myself seriously when I'm in this form."

"Be serious!"

"Who are you talking too!?" Momo bounces over.

"Shh..." Hikaru and Applejack make the motion which of course calls over the other three.

Storm says," Press the button with the... uhh... whatchamacallit... RIGHT! 3 Circles. Press it."

"Nuh uh uh," Says Ran," I don't trust you."

"Well, I escaped and I went in the secret passage way to the school. I'm now at school planning to assassinate Kuno."

"Oh no you don't!" Ran presses the button and vanishes.

Storm sighs," That was almost kind of sad how she fell for that."

"WHAT!?" the rest of the girls scream. One by one they press the buttons. Only Momo says,"WHEEE!"

"Hey, has anyone seen Ranma?" asked Akane. She looks around,"Guys?"

* * *

><p>Out in the field, Kuno was setting up a tent.<p>

"So, I see you heard about Ryoga's internet status," a voice came.

Kuno turned to see Ranma come over. "Come to make fun of me?" he asked.

Ranma looked at the tent. "No…. Oh, a tent. Why didn't I think of that?"

"You two had a duel and you had to wait?" guessed Kuno.

"Sure, let's go with that." One of the reasons why he missed out on the duel was that he caught a cold after waiting three days for Ryoga. Ranma wasn't sure, but he could swear that's one of the reasons why Genma dragged him off to China. Not that he minded.

"You didn't think of binging a tent, did you Saotome? I win this round!"

"Why did I even bother?" muttered Ranma with a sweat drop.

Suddenly, Kuno's tent bursts into flames.

"DAMMIT!" Ranma rolls around laughing.

A silver alicorn snickers,"Oh That was funny!"

That was mean.

"But it was funny."

That it was.

"COSMIC FIST BUMP!"

The universe dies and is reborn in the space of a millisecond. The narrator decides to zoom up time to the point where the next event happens which is...

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, with Ryoga…<p>

"Now where am I?" he asked himself.

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he saw that it was a young woman with a camera.

"Excuse me," she said. "Can I take a picture with you?"

Ryoga knew it had something to do with that website and agreed. A few more people did that with him and he just shrugged his shoulders; after all, what was the harm in taking pictures with people? He took a picture with all sorts of people.

* * *

><p>Back in Jail...<p>

"Why do I get the feeling that in the future that the GoPro commercials will sponsor Ryoga getting lost?"

You're right. That is a good idea.

"I know! Imagine a live feed of what Ryoga sees. I've just noticed though! He gets lost, but never loses his items!"

I wonder how he went from here all the way to Area 51.

"Maybe he breaks physics? Imagine the thesis's on this!"

* * *

><p>Underground Base...<p>

Momo twitches as someone blatantly shatters the Fourth Wall.

Ran smiles as she imagines becoming a Wonderbolt.

Hikaru twitches as someone gives out an assignment she is missing.

Belle shudders as for some inexplicable reason unfashionable lab coats give her nightmares.

Chiyo twitches as she has nightmares of Kuno attacking her beloved birds.

Applejack shudders as she imagines spiders crawling over her... which they are.

'AHH!"

This wakes up the other five girls.

In unison,"Where are we!?"

"The Batcave!" Storm's face appears on the giant monitor.

Glares.

"What!? I thought it was an OK joke!" Before he can say anything else the girls teleport back to class.

"What!? Come back guys! Come back! Guys! Guys..." Storm mopes on the monitor before it turns off.

* * *

><p>Back to Disneyland(Bet you forgot all about poor Ryoga after that really horrible punny joke! HAHAHA! PUN JOKE!)<p>

As it turns out, Ryoga inadvertently somehow wandered into Tokyo Disneyland. Again.

Someone dressed up as Cinderella was talking with someone dressed up as Snow White. "Should we call security?" she asked. "I mean, he clearly didn't pay to get in. Again." She then realized her companion could care less for Ryoga's accidental break-in and had taken out her mercury-colored cell phone to take pictures of Ryoga. "Never mind."

And (Not so)thankfully, Ryoga left before Disney Security(AKA The Nandemoari Group) could apprehend( Guide him back to Furinkan) him.

(Hopefully, the Yakuza can get him back to Tokyo.)

And so the Duel between Ryoga and Kuno was on! All that was needed to do was wait for Ryoga to make it back to the high school so it could happen.

Just give it a week…


	9. Cursed Cooking Form I

**Monday night: The day Ranma's neck was bent in a way that shouldn't be possible, Ryoga got into Area 51 again, and Zhang Upgraded the House...**

"Dinner time," called out Kasumi.

At once, everyone in the house came into the living room/dining room and saw that dinner was ready.

"So, who helped you tonight?" asked Nabiki.

"Zhang did." Kasumi replied.

"Zhang's cooking is always good," remarked Pinkie.

Kasumi and Zhang brought several dishes, all of them looked and smelled delicious.

Akane looked at the cooking, and suddenly felt a pang of jealousy. She didn't know why, though.

Of course, the meal was soon eaten by Pinkie...

"Don't worry... that was just the appetizers and Hors D'veurs." Said Zhang calmly.

All sweat drop as he brings out 5 Star Level Food for them.

Zhang's back feels chills.

" It feels like all the women in the world want to do... something... to me."

Answer: All the women who are single because they can't cook want to kill him, the women who want a husband who can cook want to catch him, and there are those who are just fangirls.

* * *

><p><strong>Tuesday night: The day Kuno challenged Ryoga to a fight and Zhang Upgraded the School…<strong>

"Dinner's ready," Kasumi called out.

Kasumi brought dinner, a few the items they could tell had apples in them, especially the salad.

"Applejack's cooking, right?" asked Ranma.

"That's right, she's the one who helped tonight."

"It was nothing." the earth pony said modestly.

"I take it you were human when you cooked this," presumed Nabiki.

"No, I was a pony."

Nabiki blinked in surprise, then asked, "Wait, how can you cook with hooves?"

"It's actually very easy. We have all of the same things you use to cook back home."

"Really?"

"It's true…" supported Twilight.

To say Nabiki was weirded out would be an understatement. However there was something else she needed to ask.

"Please tell me you washed your hooves before cooking." Said Nabiki.

"Of course I did." Muttered Applejack.

Akane looked at Applejack's cooking, and felt another twinge of jealousy. It didn't help that Applejack was a pony at the time of cooking.

And Pinkie, AGAIN, ate a lot of it.

"More in kitchen?" asked Ranma.

"Of course there is." Said Applejack.

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday night: The day where Nabiki becomes the official Boss of the Nandamoari Family and Ryoga somehow got go to Tokyo Disneyland… without paying. Again…<strong>

"Dinner's ready," called out Kasumi. Once again, everyone in the house went to eat dinner…

"So, who helped you tonight?" asked Akane.

"Oh, I cooked dinner on my own. But Pinkie did make the desserts."

They saw the desserts and saw they looked really delicious, there were many cakes and pies and the Tendos couldn't believe how delicious they looked.

Zhang says,"I feel like diabetes is nothing, but the hangover to this."

_Even Pinkie knows how to cook,_ Akane thought with a sweat drop.

Pinkie however ended up eating most of the deserts.

"Where does it all go?" asked Nabiki.

"I'd rather not know." Sighed Twilight.

Zhang said," I actually have started a thesis statement on all of the physics of this. Do you want to read it Twilight?"

"Never mind, I DO want to know."

Rainbow mutters," Eggheads."

* * *

><p>After dinner, Akane went into the kitchen and saw Kasumi washing dishes.<p>

"Kasumi," she asked her elder sister, "Can I help cook dinner tomorrow night?" All of a sudden, Kasumi drop the bowl she was cleaning. Fortunately, it didn't break, which gave her a reason to be calm. "What's wrong?"

Kasumi put on a brave front. "It's nothing." Though inside, she shivered.

"So…"

"Of course you may." Kasumi couldn't say no to her younger sister as she left the kitchen. Once Akane was gone, she wondered if should warn someone, she did love her sister… but she had to admit that Akane was the worst cook she knew.

Suddenly, the bowl cracks in half. Applejack rushes in," I heard something break."

Kasumi just hugs Applejack and cries.

"Its okay... Its okay..."

* * *

><p><strong>Thursday: The horror begins(Also a note! That day was the day Zhang forged the sword)…<strong>

Hikaru paused in her progress on trying to unravel the magic of Jusenkyo. She had rarely made a dent in the progress, she really hoped that he could have a cure soon.

That was when she smelled something awful.

_What's that smell?_ she thought. That's when she heard a crash in the kitchen. She decided to see what's wrong when she saw Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Ranma all staring at the door.

"What's going on?" asked Hikaru.

"Akane's helping Kasumi cook tonight," answered Ranma.

There was another crash, followed by Akane yelling out an apology.

"It's okay," the heard Kasumi reply. "Why don't you check on the noodles?"

At that very moment, Nabiki and Belle came home from the dress shop.

"What's going on?" asked Nabiki.

"Akane's helping Kasumi cook," replied Hikaru.

Nabiki looked terrified, or as much as Nabiki could look terrified, "WHAT?! Where's Daddy?"

"He suddenly left with Pops," answered Ranma.

"Looked like he was done right scared of something," remarked Applejack.

Silver comes down,"What's going on?"

"You should have seen it!" rambled Pinkie. "It was like 'ZOOM', and they were gone!"

"Who went ZOOM?" Silver makes the ZOOM gesture.

"Genma and Soun."

Silver glowers and whispers,"Tomorrow...Tomorrow for sure."

"How…how bad is she?" asked Fluttershy.

"I doubt she can be as bad as my sister…" Belle mumbled.

"I don't know how bad your sister cooks." Said Nabiki.

"My sister's cooking has broken the rules of physics. Has Akane's?"

"Define 'broken the rules of psychics.'"

"You don't want to know." Belle shuddered. _Just how was she able to burn that pie on the inside, yet make it so appealing on the outside?_

That was when a strange smell came wafting from the kitchen, it was a strange sticky sweet smell, that reminded them all of burnt sugar and sulfur.

"I wonder what's going on in there?" asked Pinkie.

Silver looks ill," In all of my existences on this planet, I have never felt the fear of Death."

* * *

><p>About a minute earlier…<p>

Inside, Kasumi was reading the instructions for the cooking, as well as trying to get Akane not to put the wrong ingredients into the soup she was making.

"No wait, Akane. That's sugar," she said in an attempt to stop her younger sister.

"Oh…" said Akane, "It was supposed to be salt, right?" Kasumi nodded, trying to remain calm. "I guess it'll work with sugar. But then again, I might need to add salt to balance it out."

Kasumi sighed and said, "I guess I could work on the salad." Whatever Akane was cooking has already been doomed to failure at this point.

She was the kindest, sweetest person on the planet (well, native to this one), and even she had to admit that her sister was hopeless when it comes to cooking.

* * *

><p>Pinkie had her ear to the door. "Kasumi gave up," she said looking truly scared for the first time. "Something about putting sugar and salt in the soup."<p>

"Is anyone else scared?" asked Ranma with a sweat drop.

"It won't be that bad," assured Belle. "Unless she somehow burns juice."

Nabiki turned towards her business partner and asked, "How can you burn juice?"

"Don't ask me. My mother was watching her cook."

"Question, Why would one even need juice next to a heat source?" Zhang wondered( He turned human).

Nabiki tried to come up with a response, but couldn't. Although she had to admit, Akane wasn't THAT bad of a cook. She thinks of summoning her NSP(Nandemoari Secret Police.)

"Wait, who are you even talking about?" asked Nabiki. Behind her back," She dials the numbers.

"Just never mind." Sighed Belle.

* * *

><p>Sometime later…<p>

The ponies, the Tendo sisters, and Ranma were seated at the table. The only two who didn't look nervous were Rarity and Pinkie, the former for obvious reasons and the latter…well she was the only one among them who ate baked bads, so she assumed Akane's cooking couldn't be that bad. For some odd inexplicable reason, Udon was there sitting next to Nabiki.

That was when Shampoo arrived. Cologne figured it would be best that her granddaughter be home for dinner instead of waiting tables during the dinner rush, so she could get closer to the Tendos. Zhang tried to escape to Cologne's place, but was brought back. He turned into Storm though.

The logic? Since he was smallest in that form, he wouldn't have to eat a lot of whatever was causing the Tendo familyy to freak out.

"What wrong?" asked Shampoo.

"Akane's cooking," answered Nabiki.

"How bad is she?"

"Very bad."

"Oh, she can't be bad." Shampoo took a seat next to Ranma.

Had Nabiki been the type to warn people of upcoming danger, she would've told Shampoo to run away while she still could. Unfortunately, she wasn't. The proof was that she brough in the Silent Udon for food testing.

Then, Akane and Kasumi entered the room with the meal.

"Where's Dad and Mr. Saotome?" the youngest of the Tendos asked, noticing her father's absence. She notices Udon,"And whose that."

"They ran," answered Nabiki not adding "as fast they could."

"Whose that?" Akane says again.

"He's Udon, My right hand man."

Udon points to Storm and the Ponies,"What are they?"

Storm smiles," Oh! Hey, Udon! How is Nandemoari doing now?"

"Very good. Your decision was right Mr. Tatsuya. Thank you for bestowing upon the Goddess of Wealth and Luck Mrs. Nabiki Tendo." So saying Udon bows in respect to the chibi alicorn. He does not ask about the ponies. If the boss sees fit to tell him, he'll tell him.

All of the others are weirded out. First is the fact that there is a Yakuza overlord bowing to one of the tenants here. Second is none of them have died yet even after eating five dishes.

Rainbow Dash whispers to Twilight," We don't really know a lot about Zhang."

Twilight whispers back," I'm just glad that the food isn't as poisonous as they were acting it was."

Fluttershy squeaks in fear everytime Udon looks at her.

"That's okay, everyone else is here." She then set down the secon to last dishes: bowls of soup. A strange scent came from them, a sent that could not be properly described… expect for one word, inedible.

"Akane made the soup," said Kasumi.

"Only the soup?" asked Rainbow Dash. She then received glances from everyone that all had one message; Be nice.

"Yes, she only made the soup."

"Isn't anyone going to try it?" Akane asked with an adorable smile.

No one had the heart to refuse the soup. Even Nabiki and Udon, both who were normally heartless, couldn't say no to the smile.

Twilight 'lifted' the spoon to her mouth, gave a gulp, then ate it…

* * *

><p>Hours later…<p>

Cologne returned home from work. She grew concerned when she realized it was too quiet, considering who lived there. It was a bad sign.

"Is anyone home?" she asked.

"We're up here!" came Akane's voice from the second floor. Cologne then got a feeling. A very bad feeling. She went into the guest room and sweat dropped. With the exception of Rarity, everyone who ate the cooking were very sick and lay on the floor with stomachaches or worse.

"What happened?" Glances one more time." And why is the sworn right hand man of that bastard Yakitori here!?"

"You see, I made soup… and it wasn't that good."

"Wasn't that good?!" retorted Nabiki. "You poisoned us all!"

Storm discharges bursts of magic that turns Udon's hair into different styles and colors: Afro, Rainbow Afro, Monk, etc., etc.. moans," I killed Mr. Yakitori yesterday and I reinstated Nabiki as head boss of the newly renamed Nandemoari Group."

Udon sits in seiza stoically, ignoring his sudden hair changes, speaks slowly as if in pain," Mrs. Nabiki is the Goddess of Wealth and Luck, but her sister's cooking is worse than many of the worst assassin's poisons in the world. She would make an excellent assassin." His face turns green, but he holds it in and waves aside the bucket offered to him.

"I don't know how, but this is much worse that the baked bads," complained Pinkie Pie.

Cologne looked at Rarity and asked, "You didn't eat the soup?"

"I did, but I built up immunity as a filly. My mother was just as a bad a cook as Akane is." Rarity looks green as she watches the horrible hairstyles appearing on that poor, poor man's head.

That was when Rainbow Dash grabbed a bucket and vomited. "Lucky you…" she muttered as she glared at Rarity.

Nabiki wanted to question how could they vomit, but then she realized magical talking ponies from another universe and decided not to ask.

"It hurts so much…" wept Fluttershy.

"I'm sorry," said Akane.

"Fluttershy," Storm crawls over,"I'm going to put you to sleep and you'll wake up tomorrow, OK?"

Nervous nod. Storm gives her a candy drop to eat and peaceful sleep.

"It's all right, sugar cube," assured Applejack. "We all make mistakes. How 'bout I teach you how to cook tomorrow?" Akane nodded, happy with the offer.

"I'll help too!" put in Pinkie.

"You'll definitely need the help of one of the world's best cooks!" Storm shouts, before passing out. Udon's hairstyle settles on a pompadour.

"Thank you." Akane silently reminded herself that Pinkie was a good cook.

That was when Soun and Genma entered the room, very, very drunk.

"You know…you…you ruined my life…you little ponies!" said Genma. "I wish you never came into my life!" He passed out afterwards.

Soun also passed out at the same time muttered something about "Flying Squirrels", but no one paid attention to him.

"I told you guys that he thought we ruined his life," muttered Rainbow Dash.

"Please don't gloat right now…" complained Twilight as she rubbed her head. "I have a splitting headache."

Storm smiles in his sleep. All awwed at the chibi alicorn.

* * *

><p>Dreamland...<p>

Zhang smiles as he relives one of the best kept secret massacres in the world. Its him with one golden Bo staff versus an army of a hundred thousand winged men.

"Surrender now!" the red-haired leader bellows.

"Are you telling that to yourself or me?" Zhang chuckles.

"THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!"

"Funny, because this bo staff is hollow." Zhang slaps one end forcing an bullet of air through the hollow bo staff to shoot through the ranks taking down a hundred winged men. Blood rains from the sky.

Speechlessness besets upon them.

"Some say in war, whether you live or die is a lottery." Zhang lowers into a fighting stance."This is not a war. That was your mistake in assuming you could take on even a fraction of a nth fraction of my power."

So begins the day where blood rained and the Yellow River became Red, earth was died red, and whispers of a red and gold staff given to the Dragon Kings that could change its size at will.

* * *

><p><strong>A bloody dream indeed. Wonder what kind of live(s) he led...<strong>

* * *

><p>"Wait until tomorrow," muttered Ranma as he grabbed the bucket and started dry heaving.<p>

Needless to say, that night wasn't good for anyone.

* * *

><p><strong>Friday: A Brief Reprieve<strong>

Akane and the two ponies who were teaching her to cook were in the kitchen, trying to figure out what Akane could cook that was easy and vegetarian.

"How about cupcakes!" suggested Pinkie.

"No…" replied Akane and Applejack at the same time. Zhang nods,(Glare), shakes his head no.

"How about…what was it called again…oh yeah, Udon?" the orange earth pony suggested.

"That's a good idea," said Akane.

"You do realize Nabiki's right hand man is named that?" said Zhang. "Besides, we don't even have the ingredients.

"I found the ingredients!" yelled out Pinkie, suddenly holding the bag of ingredients in her hooves. Zhang checks the bag.

"Did you know how to cook udon?"

"No!" says Pinkie cheerfully.

Akane lifted her finger then realized, "You know what, I'm not going to bother asking anymore."

"Finally got used to her?" asked Applejack.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

><p>Akane looked up vegetable broth. The first ingredient, water, was the easiest to get.<p>

Before she can do anything, Zhang stops her."A good chef tastes it first." Zhang tastes it."I'm still alive? I'm still alive!" Slap. "ow."

Then, it was time to add the salt. She then grabbed something next to the salt… the pepper.

"Wait!" warned Applejack. "That's the not the salt."

Akane looked at and saw it was the pepper.

"Thanks." Akane then set down the pepper and then added the salt.

"You have a problem checking the label, don't you?" realized Pinkie.

Akane sweat dropped, knowing the pink earth pony had hit the nail on the head.

That was when music started playing from nowhere. Akane looked at Applejack, who merely sighed.

"She's not..."

_When you do some cooking, you better keep looking, because you need to check the labels._

Applejack had a sweat drop and shook her head.

"She is."

_If it looks wrong then don't add it! Always check the labels! _

Akane stared at Pinkie Pie as she seemed to pop out of the shelves.

_Also make sure that nothing is expired, because I know for a fact that will make everypony sick. _

"My cooking already made everypony sick… I mean everyone sick!" protested Akane. She then blushed after realizing she used an Equestrian phrase.

_Then that's why you when you do some cooking you better keep looking because you need to check the labels. _

Akane face palmed, thinking this was getting really weird. Then again, she was taking cooking lessons from two talking ponies... and an immortal... something.

_Because you need to check the labels _

Both Akane and Applejack stared at her with massive sweat drops.

"Did my song help?" Pinkie then asked.

"A… little…" answered Akane with a sweat drop.

"Well, that part of my job's done."

"What was that?"

"She tends to burst into random songs," explained Applejack. "We try to ignore them when we can."

"Udon! Get in here!" calls Zhang. Applejack and Akane whip their heads to that direction.

Zhang managed to set up an entire sound system on top of a kitchen counter with the surface are of 5 ft. Weirdest part? He used a 9 ft. by 9 ft. sound system for the music he just played becoming a one-man band.

"Okay." Mumbled Akane with a very large sweat drop.

Akane began to make more of the stock and when it was time to leave it to simmer…

"I really hope this works," she sighed.

"Don't worry," assured Pinkie. "As long as it doesn't use earthworms, it will be fine."

"What?"

"Don't ask," said Applejack, who looked practically annoyed by that remark.

"Oof." is all Udon says as he moves the system into the large IDS pocket.

"Thanks Udon!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the living room…<p>

"It doesn't smell wrong in there," commented Rainbow Dash.

"Good," said Ranma. "So we don't have to go with our plan."

Just then, Hikaru came in, finished working on trying to untangle the magic of Jusenkyo for today. "What're you guys doing?" she asked.

"Just planning out any story or escape route in case Akane's cooking comes out wrong," answered Rainbow Dash.

"I'll just pretend I didn't hear that." Hikaru muttered with a sweat drop.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, it was it time for dinner and tonight's meal was Akane's Udon. They stared at the noodles, still unsure of the food's edibility.<p>

Being the spirit of Kindness, Fluttershy was the first to eat. "It's delicious Akane," she said.

"Really?"

Ranma then tired it and realized it was good. Akane was so happy that everyone liked it.

Not so happy when Zhang assassinates her father.

* * *

><p><strong>Saturday: Armageddon!(The Day the Mane Six discover the Bat-OW! Fine... Stupid copyrights.)<strong>

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN AKANE'S COOKING TONIGHT'S DINNER ON HER OWN?!"

This yell was heard all throughout Furinkan and was even heard in Tomobiki.

Storm languishes in his cell prays to the narrator,"Please don't force me to eat it!"

You will... You will...

"NO!"

* * *

><p>Back in the Tendo House…<p>

"Akane insisted that cook tonight's dinner on her own," sighed Kasumi. "And I just couldn't say no."

"That girl…" sighed Applejack. "Even I know she's not ready to cook a full on meal on her own."

"Someone is going to have to help her," said Pinkie.

Rainbow Dash then said, "If not... Then we run."

Everyone who knew how to cook came up with a plan.

Attempt # 1:

Applejack poked her head in. "Hey, sugar cube," she said. "Need some help?"

"No I'm fine," assured Akane with a shrug.

Applejack sighed and slinked out of the kitchen. Strike one.

Attempt # 2:

"Akane need help?" asked Shampoo.

"I'm fine, really," insisted Akane.

Shampoo sighed, _I wonder if my grandmother has some sort of antidote for the food poisoning we're sure to receive?_

Attempt # 3:

"Hey, Akane. Do you need any help?" Ranma offered as he entered the room.

"Do you even know how to cook?" asked Akane.

"Yeah, but Pops don't like it. He thinks it's too womanly."

Akane began to laugh… she just couldn't help it. "But you do turn into a woman."

"Do you want my help or not?"

"No, I'm fine."

Ranma sighed and left the kitchen. It wasn't his fault he knew how to cook. Genma's cooking skills were mediocre. Besides, how else would they survive on the open road?

Though he'd better find an escape route...

Attempt # 4:

"Hey, Akane!" greeted Pinkie. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I'm fine." Akane was persistent.

"Okay…" Pinkie then bounced her way out of the kitchen before popping up again, "Then do you want me to sing my song again?"

"No… no… I'm fine…" Akane thought she was used to Pinkie, but apparently she was wrong… bursting out into random songs… was just weird…

Attempt # 5:

"Akane do you need any help?" squeaked out Fluttershy. There was a small silence. Akane stared at the timid Pegasus who started blushing at the staring. "Well since you don't need me…" The Pegasus then left.

"Wait…" Akane was about to say, but it was too late. A sweat drop then appeared on her head, "I was going to say yes…"

Yep. Everyone's doomed to suffer tonight.

* * *

><p>"Fricking stupid AUTHOR!"<p>

What?

"Why couldn't you have given Fluttershy a confidence booster?"

Out of Character for her.

"But life will end as we know it!"

No, that's when the Cut-

"STOP! SPOILER ALERT!"

Thanks... You're still eating it.

"Dammit."

Storm dresses into the traditional Samurai Armor.

What are you doing?

"Preparing to meet Death on my own terms."

Cosmic Sweat Drop.

* * *

><p>As everyone waited for dinner to be ready they were panicking or planning…<p>

"Do you have the escape routes all set?" asked Ranma.

"Almost," replied Rainbow Dash.

"You two are not going to run away," said Twilight, overhearing their plans.

"You know, if you wanted to, you can join in…" Twilight was tempted by this offer. Really, really tempted.

"I have an idea. Why don't we give Rarity all of our food when Akane's not looking?", suggested Pinkie Pie.

"I can't do that," the fashionista protested, "I'm trying to watch my weight." That made everyone sweat drop.

"Or we can always run…" Rainbow Dash said, once again tempting Twilight.

But before the bookish unicorn could give her answer, Akane had arrived. Carrying a large tray of food. Or at least they thought it was food. The only thing that looked even close to being food was the salad, and to be honest it didn't look good, no one was sure but it appeared to have chunks of wood in it.

"Is anyone hungry?" the youngest Tendo sister asked, giving a smile. And for some reason, it was a very charming smile. So charming that anyone who sees it loses the heart to refuse.

"Of course I'm hungry," replied Ranma, his eyebrow twitching in absolute terror. He gulped, grabbed his chopsticks, used them to grab something, and bit into what he guessed was a croquette.

* * *

><p>Sometime later…<p>

"Is anyone home?" asked Cologne. Once again, she was at her restaurant during dinner and thus had been speared from the disaster that has happened (again) at the Tendo Residence.

"We're up here!" came Rarity's voice from upstairs.

Cologne came into the room and saw that all of its residents were in the guest room, which had been temporarily formed in a way that it was now like a hospital ward, with Rarity and Zhang doing their best to act as the nurses. "Oh dear."

"That's your only response?" asked Ranma, who then grabbed a bucket to vomit in, "Oh dear?"

"I can tell you're not feeling well so I'm going to ignore that. Where's Akane?"

Rarity pointed to the corner where the disaster chef was crouched, the air black around her.

"Don't worry, sugar cube," assured Applejack as she lay near Akane. "I'm sure next time you'll let someone help you."

Akane turned around, glared at Applejack, then turned back to the wall.

"Oh darling, you should be glad that it didn't turn out worse," Rarity attempted to comfort her, "I mean, at least you didn't burn AND liquefy toast."

"That's not even possible." yelled Akane, glaring at the unicorn.

"No, it's possible." Rarity then mumbled under her breath. "Somehow…"

Zhang finishes brewing the medicine."Ok. Super pain relief medicine! Who wants some!?"

Zhang gives it to Ranma, Shampoo, and Chiyo he tells them to meet him at the school. Before he gives it to the other five ponies he says," Meet me tomorrow at the school. I'll give you a better explanation over there."

Rainbow mutters,"But tommorrows Sunday!"

"Two words: Giant Robots."

"Ok." Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie chorus.

"No way," Twilight scowls.

" Three more words: Quantum Physics Proofs."

"Okay."

Before he can turn to Applejack and Rarity, they say," We're going!"

Cologne makes a mental note to close shop next day.

* * *

><p>And while it was unsaid, everyone knew that they had to watch Akane like a hawk from now on whenever she made food. Because that was the only way to escape the food poisoning. On the bright side, if he got a good night's rest, Ranma and Akane would be going on the date the next day.<p>

Moral of Story: Check the Food Labels before putting them in.


	10. Peeping on A Date!

Cologne offered Akane, Zhang, and Rarity if she could take over, as she had some herbal remedies that she used last time from the whole cooking incident.

It was because of this that Rarity offered to help Akane pick out clothes. Zhang stayed behind to make sure that his medicine and the herbal remedies wouldn't clash causing a series of side effects.

"Oh I bet it's going to be so romantic," gushed the fashionista.

"Yeah," agreed Akane with a sweat drop.

"You're still in love with Dr. Tofu…" Rarity then remembered why Akane wouldn't act on her feelings, "Is it true… about Ranma's neck?"

"Yes." Akane winced at the memory.

"Oh dear. It's a good thing it's back to normal."

"Say, Rarity. What do you think of Ranma?"

"Oh. Well he is uncouth and rude. But I know for a fact that his father is to blame. That aside, he is a nice boy."

"I see…"

"You should try asking the others."

"I did. You were the last one."

"What?"

-Series of flashbacks-

_Akane asked Applejack sometime after a spar._

_"He's cocky, that's for sure," said the earth pony. "But when he sets something on his mind, he'll do it."_

_Akane nodded. "Yeah, I noticed."_

_Akane asked Rainbow Dash one day when the latter was lazing about._

_"Ranma, he's the best sparing partner I have ever had," remarked the Pegasus,_

_"There aren't that many black belts in Ponyville and none of them are even close to his level."_

_Akane chuckled. "Considering how good you are, I do not doubt that at all."_

_Akane asked Silver as he was renovating the house._

_"Ranma's cursed." says Silver as he floats upside down patching up holes in the roof._

_"Huh?"_

_"I mean cursed. He's not just cursed with that Jusenkyo curse, he's cursed with one of the most dreadful curses ever."_

_"What is it?"_

_"Imagine that no matter how many women you reject they still come or in your case men." Silver patches up another hole in the roof._

_" Oh..."_

_"Be nice to him, he's still got a couple of women assassins after him..."_

_"Oh..."_

_Akane asked Pinkie Pie sometime after she taught her cooking lessons._

_"Ranma?" asked Pinkie, "He's sort of like a big brother I never had! He's really cool!" Pinkie then smiled. "About that night I was in his bed… He'd comforted me after a bad dream of mine."_

_Akane looked at Pinkie. "How bad was it?"_

_Pinkie began to shake, "Please don't ask…" she whispered._

_Akane blink and realized they hadn't known each other long enough to find out._

_Akane asked Twilight (well Hikaru) on the way home._

_"Ranma, he's a very good friend," said the studious girl. "He keeps feeling like he owes it to me for saving his life but it's nothing."_

_Akane chuckled. "He seems to have honor as his biggest priority."_

_Akane asked Fluttershy shortly after getting home._

_"Well… he's… um… he's nice and he very protective of us… and…" the Pegasus whispered, then let out a squeak that Akane couldn't understand._

_Akane frowned. "At least you could meet Ryoga because of him."_

_Fluttershy blushed slightly, "What do you mean?" asked Fluttershy._

_"Never mind." Said Akane unsure if Fluttershy felt the same way about Ryoga._

-End Flashbacks-

"And I'm the last pony you asked?" asked Rarity.

"You've been so busy…" lied Akane. Actually, the truth was that the two of them barely talked as it was since the two had nothing in common. Akane was a tomboy who liked martial arts, Rarity was a fashionista who really disliked it.

Rarity saw through the lie and knew she wasn't that close to Akane. She decided not to press the matter further. "Oh, this one is perfect."

Akane sweat dropped as she looked at the dress. It was a very frilly dress, and she didn't even when know she when bought it, or even the last time she wore it. "No… I don't think I'll wear that on a date with Ranma." Akane was trying her hardest not to face palm at the dress choice.

* * *

><p>The next day, Akane waited in the park in a dark green dress she owned. The two decided to meet in a park beforehand because Ranma said he had to do something.<p>

"Hey!" came Ranma's voice. She turned around and saw him holding a bouquet of red roses.

"You didn't have to get me roses," said Akane as Ranma offered her the bouquet.

"Sorry." Ranma rubbed the back of his head.

"It's fine," Akane took the bouquet. "So…where are we going?"

"I was thinking the Tokyo dome, I heard there's an amusement park there."

"That's a great idea."

In a nearby bush, Zhang, Shampoo, Momo, Belle, Ran, Alex, Hikaru, and Chiyo were watching.

"What if we get caught?" the last of them asked.

"We won't get caught," assured Momo, "Because I'm sure Twilight will do something."

"I'm not using magic to hide us," sighed Hikaru.

"Oh. But I still think we're safe, because that's how it goes in anime."

They all sweat dropped when she said that, still unable to believe she became an otaku. Well, in the metaphorical sense, it really wasn't surprising that she did become one once she was introduced to it.

"Not if Shampoo has anything to say about it." Said Shampoo.

"You're not still jealous are you?" asked Belle.

"Shampoo not jealous." Shampoo had some jealously issues she still needed to work out. After all, it was very rare for her people to share a man.

Zhang says," You guys Pinkie promise that after we finish stalking them, we go to the neat underground base I made."

"Where we get to interrogate you? And you promise to always tell the truth?"

Zhang hesitates. The Pinkie Promise is paramount to Harry Potter's Unbreakable vows.

"Come on, they're leaving."

And so they proceed to follow them to the subway. Of course, they kept their distance so they wouldn't be noticed. At least they hoped. After all, it's difficult to hide when your group wears colors that clash with one another. It's like hiding a large iron pipe in a haystack.

After catching the train, they got to the right station and were at Tokyo Dome City, where they bought all-ride bracelets.

"So Rarity casually gave you the money?" asked Akane.

Ranma nodded, "She already has a couple of clients."

"That's good for her."

"Do you want to get something to eat or go to some of the rides?"

Akane stared at him and blushed slightly. "Really… I think we should go for the rides."

"Oh, okay." Ranma did not know how to react to that.

Nearby, the others were watching him.

"She so lucky," said Shampoo.

"Maybe, it would have been you instead if..." Zhang trails off as six glares pierce him. "Sorry.

On the other hand, Chiyo seemed to be more concerned with something else; the fact that Momo was missing. "Pinkie's missing," she said.

"Great…", groaned Ran. "Taking her to an amusement park was a bad idea."

"Don't worry," assured Hikaru. "I'm sure she'll be fine." Thankfully, they didn't have to panic for long.

"I'm back." Momo came in with a couple of shopping bags and wearing a pink furry top hat with deer antlers.

"That's going to do wonders for our inconspicuousy" Zhang says dryly.

Everyone gaped at her, wondering where she even went. "Where did you even go?", Hikaru asked.

"I heard there was a store that sold stuff from Shonen Jump so I went there. Sorry I didn't tell you about it, but it was really cool! I managed to buy so much."

This made everyone sweat drop, though none of them were surprised she did that.

"Just take off that gaudy hat before they see you," said Belle.

"But it's Chopper's hat. Well his original hat… they didn't have the new one for some reason."

"You'll still be seen," warned Alex with a sweat drop.

"Fine…" Conceding to her friends, Momo took it all off put it in one of the bags. "So, has anything happened yet?"

"No, not yet…" answered Belle.

Zhang says," How about we put the bags into the IDS pocket?" Momo nods.

Hikaru sasy," But she..." Momo stuff the items into her hair and they disappear. "That shouldn't be possible."

All sweat-drop at Momo's innocence.

"Umm... wasn't expecting that" Zhang mumbles," Lets watch them. I betcha Ranma's not going onto the log flume!"

If only they knew what the couple they were following knew that they were being followed…

Akane and Ranma went to ride the rollercoaster called the Thunder Dolphin.

Afterwards, Akane wanted to ride the Wonder Drop, the park's log flume.

"But I don't want to," complained Ranma.

"Oh come on," teased Akane with a sly smile, "Afraid to get a little wet?"

"I'm not afraid to get a little wet, just embarrassed."

* * *

><p>Offside comment from the narrator. That sounds so wrong.<p>

"Shut up," fourth wall breakers mutter.

* * *

><p>"I'll get you some hot water afterwards."<p>

"Fine."

"Wow… she got him to go on that water ride," said Ran as they watched from a distance.

"Shampoo totally not jealous," said Shampoo.

"That came out of nowhere," mused Belle with a sweat drop.

"Sugar cube, it's all right if you're jealous," said Alex.

"Shampoo no jealous!" the Chinese Amazon yelled.

This made everyone sweat drop, including several people within earshot.

With Akane and Ranma, they went on the Wonder Drop. There was some confusion with the ride staff after Ranma came back a girl, but they managed to avoid any questions. Akane got hot water while Ranma-Chan hid. Thankfully, there were no further mishaps as she managed to acquire it and change him back without problems. After that, they went to lunch at a noodle shop run by a duck in a noodle hat.

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" asked Ranma.

"I am," Akane answered with a slight blush.

"This is my first time going on a date like this."

"You've been on a date before?" asked Akane.

"No... Not really."

Akane sighed, "What is your relationship with Shampoo exactly? I mean, she tried to kill you and is now in love with you… and…"

"It's hard to say. When we first met, she was very hostile. Constantly hunting me and trying to kill me, but after a week we came to Japan and then you know Zhang solved all our problems. Genma had a fight with both of them, but Shampoo was really clingy after that as you know. Then Pops had another fight with Cologne."

"What kind of fight?"

"I don't know. You should ask Cologne for the details. I think it has something to with women because I remember Rainbow Dash hearing what the fight was about and giving pops a beating. Also, after the fight, Cologne told Shampoo something I didn't know because it was in Chinese, but after that she wasn't clingy anymore."

Akane sighed. Shampoo sometimes fed Ranma during dinner and sometimes made lunch for him. But she couldn't imagine Shampoo being that clingy.

The rest of the lunch was mostly silent as they ate. Akane had so many thoughts swirling though her head about Shampoo and Ranma's relationship.

Not too far from the window of the noodle shop, the date watchers were wondering what was going on.

"Something must have happened during that conversation," said Momo.

"Probably about Shampoo," guessed Ran.

"Why about Shampoo?" asked the mentioned girl.

"Because having a relationship like that is tough on anyone, and I doubt that she wants to listen about you," said Hikaru.

"I mean first you tried to kill him, then me and his other friends, then now you're in love with him. It just seems like superficial relationship to me," Says Zhang.

Before the glare of Shampoo can kill him a Angel comes down.

"Excuse me," a nearby voice came. A voice they recognized. "Can you tell me where Furinkan high is?"

They turned to see Ryoga, lost as usual, asking a random bystander for directions.

"Ryoga!" called out Chiyo.

The bystander in black says," Mr. Zhang's friend has made contact with target. Permission to leave Mrs. Nabiki?" Murmurs." Hai. Thank you." He goes into a black Honda and drives away.

Ryoga turned to see them. He was so happy… despite not knowing where he was.

"What are you doing here?" Momo shushed him, covered his mouth, and brought him to where they were sitting. He saw Ranma and Akane in the restaurant. "You're still doing this? I would've thought you stopped."

"Yes…" sighed Alex.

Zhang got them into watching romance dramas and then they started stalking people on dates. It was really awkward. Zhang regretted introducing them to Korean Drama even though they're the best kind of drama there is.

"I've been trying to make them stop and go home…" said Chiyo.

"Only half the time," said Ran with a slight smirk. Chiyo blushed slightly when she said that.

"So…" said Ryoga.

"You should stick with us… Kuno's still waiting and it's starting to get weird with him."

"How weird?"

Everyone exchanged looks…

* * *

><p>Kuno was looking at what appeared to be some kind of trap.<p>

"I'll get the birds! I'll get the birds and the Rats!" said Kuno in a crazed way. "The birds will no longer steal my food once I take prisoners…" He began to laugh a laugh that signified that he has lost the last shred of his sanity.

His tents bursts into flames," CURSE YOU RATTY THE TATATAT!"

* * *

><p>Back at the Dome City…<p>

"Just don't ask," was all Ran said.

"I don't think its helping that I trained rats to set his tent on fire." Zhang said. Surprisingly, no glare.

"That bad…" asked Ryoga.

All of them nodded in agreement.

Back in the restaurant, the two finished their meal.

"Do you want to ride the Ferris Wheel?" asked Ranma.

"Sure," answered Akane. They headed to the Ferris wheel called the Big O and got on.

"So, I noticed you and Applejack have gotten close."

"We did."

"That's good. I've been worried about her."

"So you know too."

"She's the one who took it the hardest. I never really had a home, to have one and be separated from it."

"How long have you been traveling?"

"Ever since I can remember. It's always been me and Pops, just traveling. I didn't have many friends. Really, my only friends before China was a boy named Ukyo when I was a kid and Ryoga."

"But you and Ryoga fought all the time."

"So did me and Ukyo but it is was more of a game. His father ran an okonomiyaki cart and we would always spar. If I won, I'd get a free one."

Akane couldn't help but giggle at that one, "That sounds so cute."

Ranma blushed when she said that. "Actually. I only remembered Ukyo recently. Since Equestria—where our new friends aside from Shampoo come from—is full of friendship, it's got me thinking about my friends."

* * *

><p>Ukyo will be coming soon... Along with Nodoka...<p>

"STOP SPOILING THE ******* STORY ALREDY!"

* * *

><p>"Really?"<p>

Ranma nodded.

"So…" Akane made an attempt to change the subject.

"You're talking about romantic between me and them? No… they're just friends. Sure, I care about them. But really, it's more like sisters than anything."

"I see…" Akane sighed in relief.

"I'd hate to ask for advice from you about this."

"It's about going on a date with Shampoo, right? Makes sense she has been following us with the others."

"So you did you notice them." Ranma sweat dropped at that.

"It's hard not to notice such a colorful group. Especially when Pinkie Pie showed up with that hat."

Both of them laughed when she said that.

"You know, they followed people going on dates ever since Zhang introduced them to Korean Drama."

"Really?"

Ranma began to tell her a story of one of the dates they followed: Two people who everytime they walked into sunlight their skin would glitter., and how they followed, especially how badly they hid themselves.

Below them in an area next to the arcade, Shampoo was watching with a pair of binoculars. Ran, Momo, Chiyo, and Ryoga were in the arcade, while Alex, Belle, and Hikaru were sitting next to her.

"I doubt Akane would even do anything like that," said Alex.

"Shampoo not jealous if that's what you think," said the Chinese Amazon.

_Keep telling yourself that,_ thought Belle with a sweat drop.

_I can't believe she brought binoculars,_ thought Hikaru with a sweat drop while face palming.

"Twilight!" said Momo, "I need your help with something."

"What?"

She led them to a UFO catcher where a toy was stuck in the prize chute. "I won, but… it was too big to go through."

"Why is it even that big?"

"Can you please use your magic to get it though the hole?"

"Fine." Hikaru conceded, and thankfully she wasn't caught. Zhang was.

"You can't stop me from bringin all those plushies home!"

He got every single plushie stuck inside the entrance.

Ran keeps on muttering," We don't know him... We don't know him..." as they walk past.

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, Akane and Ranma headed back as well as their tag-alongs. As they were walking back to the Tendo Residence, Akane asked, "Should we?"<p>

"I think we should," agreed Ranma with a smirk. The two stopped, then turned around.

"We know you're there. You can come out now." With that, the tag-alongs came out of their hiding spots.

"So… how long did you know?" asked Belle.

"The whole time." The tag-alongs all sweat dropped.

"Oh hey, Ryoga. I didn't know you were with them," said Ranma.

"Yeah… I decided to let them take me to the fight," sighed Ryoga.

"Good, because Kuno is going crazy. Well, crazier than usual."

"How crazy, because no one will tell me."

* * *

><p>Back at Kuno's camp…<p>

Kuno was laughing manically at a little bird that was trapped in a cage.

"See, you bird!" yelled Kuno. "I have a prisoner! And soon, all of you will be my prisoners!"

The little bird on the other hand was freaking out, wondering why the crazy human was holding him hostage. The human starts dancing as one of the trained rats lights his gi on fire.

"CURSE YOU RATTY THE RATATAT AND FLAPPY THE BIRDY TOO!"

* * *

><p>Back with Ranma and co.…<p>

"There's a reason for that," Ranma answered with a sweat drop.

"And its not because I trained rats!" Zhang says.

Ryoga couldn't help but do likewise. He now knew that it was best he didn't know.

Zhang then catches everybody in the vicinity in a giant force field!

"Now Pinkie Promise me that you'll go to the Secret Base I made for you guys!"

"Never! Not after you killed Soun!" Soun walks by," Oh, hello everybody!"

Sweat-drops.

Hikaru asks,"What are you doing here?"

"I'm coming home back from a job interview! I know now I haen't been the best father, so I'm doing my best to change. I'm quitting drinking too!" Soun walks back home to dinner.

"Well..." snaps Zhang.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in my eye."

"Good! Tomorrow then! Its getting late!"

* * *

><p>That night after dinner…<p>

"So, how was your date?" asked Kasumi.

"I had a nice time!" said Akane. "We went to the Tokyo Dome complex."

"Oh that sounds like so much fun."

Akane nodded with a small smile.

After dinner, Akane took a bath, and got ready for bed. As she did, she looked at her hair in the mirror and began to think.

_I did have a lot of fun at the date and am really starting to like Ranma,_ she thought.

_Sure, the date wasn't romantic, but it was fun. After all the grief Kuno caused me, having fun and relaxing was just the thing I needed._

And the reason she grew out her hair was because of Dr. Tofu, so that he would notice her.

But now… she just wasn't sure…

She sighed and shrugged.

Maybe she should worry about that later.

After all, the next day Ryoga was finally going to fight Kuno. And she knew that was going to be an exciting match up!


	11. The Very Anticlimatic Fight (Or not)

After days of waiting, going insane because of birds stealing his food—not that he wasn't already—the fight was finally happening.

Kuno held up his wooden sword while Ryoga took off his backpack. The two faced each other as the wind blew, almost as if nature itself was making it even more dramatic.

"T-shirts, get your t-shirts!", called out Nabiki, ruining the tension. "1,000 yen each."

"What kind of t-shirts?", inquired Hiroshi.

"We have four different kinds," answered Belle as she showed them off. "We have 'Team Tatewaki' and 'Team Ryoga'."

"How many Team Tatewaki shirts did you make?", asked Daisuke.

"One of each size." replied Nabiki.

"We figured no one was going to be on 'Team Tatewaki'," explained Belle.

"We also have 'I've Seen Ryoga Hibiki in Person.'" Nabiki then put on the last. "And my personal favorite, 'Kuno is a Dope'." At that last one, everyone ran to the stand.

"I'll take a 'Kuno is a Dope' t-shirt," said Daisuke.

"I'll take one as well," said Hiroshi.

"Me too," added in Ran, joining in once she heard that there was such a t-shirt.

"Ran gets a discount," said Belle.

"Oh, come on!", complained Hiroshi in a manner similar to her sister, not that she knew it.

"Do I get one too?" asked Momo.

"Yes, I'm waiving my side of the fee for you and the rest of the girls," said Belle.

Ran and Momo looked at Nabiki, both of them getting large sweat drops.

"So basically we're paying her," said Ran.

"Yes," answered Nabiki.

"I'm still buying it."

"Me too!" agreed Momo.

The otaku boy and girl showed up. The girl smirked, and said, "Do you take credit cards?"

Nabiki said, "What kind?" The otaku girl chuckled, and removed...

"A BAT CREDIT CARD?"

The otaku boy growled, and soon started cussing up a storm. As he ranted, Nabiki raised an eyebrow. The otaku girl said, "One of his favorite web show hosts HATES the Bat Credit Card… Long story..." As the boy went nuts, the girl bonked him on the head. "Stop it, or you'll be watching Dragon Ball GT!" The boy growled, and then said, "Endless Eight."

Cue the girl losing it.

Zhang tinkering something underground mutters,"I wasted five hours of my immortal life watching those eight episodes."

The boy laughed, and said, "Now we're even." He ran to the stands before he could get bonked. Nabiki said, "I guess everyone in this town's nuts."

Momo chuckled. "He is nice, though."

Both Ryoga and Kuno watched them buy t-shirts with sweat drops on their heads.

"I guess that makes sense when one is an internet celebrity," said the latter. That was when several birds flew by. " Curse you Tweety the Birdie!" he yelled at them. "You will pay!"

_Is he yelling at birds?_ thought Ryoga. _Why do I get the feeling this was the thing no one wanted to tell me about?_

In the stands, the two Otaku were talking.

"Looks like Kuno sanity has finally gone to the birds," remarked the boy.

"You're just going to keep saying that until it gets a laugh," sighed the girl.

"Of course I am." The two then did a laugh that Statler and Waldorf would've applauded.

Eventually, the birds flew away.

"Now we must fight," Kuno said as he held out his wooden sword, and entered a fighting stance.

"Yeah…" agreed Ryoga with a sweat drop.

"WAIT!" Zhang shouts. They pause.

"I would like to make three announcements! Betting ring is being currently runned by Nabiki at the stand for clothes so hurry up and make a bet! Also, The Nandemoari Group is sponsoring this!", men in black go through the crowds giving out flyers,"We are the largest (and only) group that sponsors these kinds of events! So please donate now!", people begin donating," Lastly, I have created a website! A website called "Kuno's Idiocy!" Please post any videos you can find of Kuno embarassing himself! Check it out now!"

Zhang presses a button and he descends through a whole. The terrain of the field begins to change and rise creating an arena. The students look around at one another and shrug. They go to sit on the seats.

Belle asks,"What was that?"

Nabiki says proudly,"That was my new partner advertising!" Belle turns to face her and sees that Nabiki is running a seperate booth now.

"What are you doing?"

"Running a gambling ring. KUNO 100 to 1! RYOGA 50 to 1!"

Sweat drop.

Kuno ran towards Ryoga with his sword drawn. Ryoga quickly grabbed his umbrella that he often carries around and used it to block the attack.

"How long do you think that umbrella will last?", wondered Akane.

"That might look like a bamboo umbrella, but it's not," answered Ranma.

"Then what is it?"

"Some kind of metal." Ranma gave a shrug.

"I see…"

Kuno charged and Ryoga blocked. Ryoga then used his umbrella like a baseball bat, and knocked Kuno back. The two continued to clash with Ryoga getting more good hits than Kuno, earning cheers from the crowd. Very few wanted Kuno to win… and those that did only wanted to keep the honor of the school and would've preferred someone else from the one of the other sports to be fighting Ryoga.

As the two exchanged blows, Kuno's sword broke. He tossed it aside, held out his hand, and caught a spare provided by one of the other members of the Kendo team.

"Looks like all you're good at is brute strength," said Kuno. "You'll need cleverness to defeat me."

"Really?" asked Ryoga, who proceeded to take off his bandanna… revealing another bandanna underneath it and proceeded to do this repeatedly until he had a handful.

"CATCH!" Ryoga then started tossing loads of bandannas at Kuno.

As they flew at Kuno, he came to realize they were razor sharp, dodged them, and even stopped a few with his sword.

"This all you have? Trickery?" mocked Kuno.

Ryoga glared at him and once again pulled out his umbrella. The two began to clash weapons just like two swordfighters would do. Kuno dodged a blow, and Ryoga struck the ground, creating a huge indent similar to a crater.

"He was able to do that?", asked Akane.

"Ryoga's really strong," said Ran, now wearing a "Kuno is a dope" t-shirt instead of her usual black one.

"That's obvious. I didn't think that strong though."

"All of it brute strength," said Shampoo.

"I see…" She looked at Chiyo, who was silently watching the fight. "Fluttershy, are you okay?"

"I'm fine…" whispered Chiyo.

"Are you sure?" Hikaru wasn't so sure. "They are fighting over you."

"Really. I'm fine." Chiyo flushed slightly, watching on, worried for Ryoga. Kuno might be an idiot and delusional, but she knew he was strong.

Zhang pops up out of a seat scaring Chiyo,"What I really want to know is how he got the bandanas to stay solid!" A surprised eep.

Hikaru says," Do you have any ideas?"

Zhang begins a long discussion.

"Eggheads..."

"So you have the strength to do this?" asked Kuno, "I underestimated your skill." He then proceeded to swipe at the air, somehow creating a blade of air that cut Ryoga's cheek as well as his clothes.

_I have to stop him,_ thought Ryoga as he took off several more bandannas.

"How many bandanas does he have?" asked a confused Akane.

"We don't know," answered Momo, now wearing a "Team Ryoga" t-shirt over her dress.

Akane stared at Momo, and knew for a fact that she, of all people, er ponies... being confused about Ryoga's bandannas was just plain weird.

* * *

><p>Quick update from Nabiki Tendo<p>

Kuno 500 to 1

Ryoga 25 to 1

* * *

><p>Ryoga flung the bandannas at Kuno, but he knocked them all away. Ryoga knew he had to do something more powerful. He then took off his belt—and much like the bandannas, another seemed to pop up in its place. He did something to it, which caused it to stiffen, then threw it like a boomerang, which avoided the slashes of air and cut Kuno's sword in half.<p>

Kuno tossed his broken weapon away and was tossed another one just as Ryoga took out his umbrella, opened it, and tossed it at him, only to miss.

The two glared at each other; the fight was getting more intense.

"Attention!", called out Nabiki. "We're sold out of 'Kuno is a Dope' T-shirts."

Akane and Hikaru sweat dropped.

"Glad I got mine," said Ranma as he now wore one.

"Shampoo too," said Shampoo, also wearing one.

"How long has this been?" asked Akane.

"Five minutes," answered Hikaru.

That's right, everybody. "Kuno is a Dope" T-shirt sold out in five minutes! Five!"

Zhang texts a message to Nabiki. Nabiki looks up," BUT all is not lost! Come back to get the exclusive video T-shirt! It not only says Kuno is a Dope! but even has the plus of streaming clips of him failing from the great website Zhang Tatsuya made! Come get them!" Everybody rushes back down!

"How dare you lie about that!", Kuno yelled from the battlefield.

"We're not lying." called out Belle.

"I don't blame you, fair Belle." Kuno replied with love filling his voice. "I blame everything on Nabiki Tendo!"

Belle could only sweat drop at that.

"And done!" Zhang posts that clip of self denial onto the web. All the t-shirts start streaming it.

"CURSE YOU ZHANG!"

Zhang then gets out his sniping rifle. Hikaru confiscates it."COME ON!"

"No! Where did you even get that?"

"Same way Pinkie always has a cupcake on hand."

Sweat-drop.

Kuno turned his attention to his opponent, then ran towards him with his blade slashing, Ryoga dodging as much as he could. Then, Kuno began assaulting him with air blades, one of which hit Ryoga's arm.

Ryoga winced slightly in pain as he managed to dodge the next assault and tied one of his bandanna's around the injured arm.

"So do you surrender and give up Chiyo?" asked Kuno.

"There's no way I'm giving her to you!" said Ryoga.

Chiyo blushes.

"Such a shame. I doubt you can use that arm for the rest of the fight."

Ryoga answered by using that arm to pick up his umbrella and smash it into Kuno's face.

"I was wrong. Very, very wrong." Kuno was slightly woozy from the attack, but he managed to shake it off. "You're a much more dangerous opponent than I thought."

Ryoga's eyes narrowed at Kuno's. "But not enough to defeat me!"

Kuno was about to strike Ryoga but was blocked by his opponent's umbrella. For the next several minutes, the two were locked.

"You can do it Ryoga!", cheered Momo.

"Defeat him for the honor of Furinkan High!" yelled a member of the kendo team.

"Beat his sorry ass, Ryoga!" yelled a random boy.

"Do for the sake of the school!" yelled a member of the Judo team.

"You can beat him Ryoga!" yelled Ran. "Everyone who's cheering for Kuno is just cheering for him because he goes here!"

The ones cheering for Kuno all sweat dropped. It was true, but… um… It was completely true… wait… that's a bad thing.

Zhang departs telling Hikaru," When this is done, please press the buttons and go to the as of unnamed secret base under the school. This is getting boring."

Ryoga began to take his fight against Kuno seriously and this overpowered the latter to the extent that he was sent flying several feet, earning cheers from most of the spectators.

I will not be defeated that easily!" yelled Kuno as he began to swipe at the air once again, but Ryoga managed to dodge.

"That's getting old!" said Ryoga as he took off his bandannas and tossed them at Kuno.

"I shall say the same to you!"

Ryoga drew his umbrella and the two began to fight sword-to-umbrella once again. However, Kuno used all of his strength and managed to send the umbrella flying into the crowd and—of all places—the location where they were watching. In fact, the umbrella got buried deep into the ground.

Akane made an attempt to pick it up.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," advised Alex.

"Why?" Akane tried to lift it, but to no avail. "This is heavy."

"We warned you," said Ran with a sweat drop.

Ryoga grabbed one of his belts and began to wield it like a sword. Somehow, due to its strange sharpness, he was able to cut Kuno's sword in half. Unfortunately for him, Kuno managed to acquire another from his team members, who the only ones left cheering him on.

"You certain have interesting weapons," said Kuno. "But nothing can defeat the blade of Tatewaki Kuno!"

Ryoga once again sliced the sword in half, contradiction Kuno's statement, much to the amusement of the crowd as they chuckled at the irony.

"Nothing can defeat the blade of Tatewaki Kuno!" said the otaku boy. "Expect for anything that cuts wood!"

"Which somehow includes belts!" added the otaku girl as the two of them calmly gave a high five to one another.

Kuno grabbed another wooden sword and the two continued to fight. However,

Ryoga was a slight disadvantage; he didn't want to use another belt and he didn't have his umbrella.

"He needs his umbrella back," said Chiyo as she watched the fight with everyone else.

"Twi, do you think you can…" Ranma began to ask.

Hikaru sighed as she used her magic. Her hands glowed in her signature aura and the umbrella did likewise as it was lifted out of the ground. "Ryoga!" she called out as she 'hurled' the umbrella.

Ryoga managed to catch it and use it to block Kuno's sword. Thankfully, no one noticed the magic… Well, all but one…

It was a boy with dark blue hair and light blue eyes. He looked at Hikaru.

"That was magic," he whispered to himself. How was she able to use magic? He did know one thing, though; there was no way he's telling his sister.

* * *

><p>Zhang sneezes. He sniffles," Either I'm catching a cold, somebody is talking about me, or I'm getting a strong sense of foreboding."<p>

He sneezes again onto the wall." Yup, its foreboding." The snot on the wall is the kanji for omen. Another sneeze. "Or it could be that I really need to fix the ventilation system."

He gets off of his beanbag chair and starts to tinker with the filtration system.

* * *

><p>Kuno and Ryoga continued to block each other's attacks. The former decided to once again slice the air, but the latter knew what to do; he opened his umbrella and used it as a shield.<p>

Kuno scowled in disgust as the maneuver. _That umbrella's powerful, and it makes for the perfect shield,_ he thought.

Ryoga smirked, knowing he had the upper hand as he then grabbed his next belt and threw it at Kuno, which was evaded. However, this turned out to be a bad thing for both of them.

The belt headed towards the audience, right for where Ranma and co. were standing. They all managed to dodge but there was a causality. A rather minor one, but one nonetheless; it sliced Akane's hair, right where the ponytail she was wearing was tied. Kuno and Ryoga stopped their fight and stared in silence.

"Oh no!", lamented Kuno. "What have I done?!"

Ryoga looked Akane, red with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry."

Akane stood in shock. She had mixed feeling for what just happened. Shock, disappointment, anger, and even a little happiness. Ever since her date with Ranma, she had considering cutting it.

But this was just… weird. After all, what were the chances of getting a hair cut like this?

"Kuno! How dare you!" yelled one of Akane's friends named Sayuri, who wore her dark-brown hair in a ponytail.

"That's right!" agreed a long light-brown haired girl named Yuka, another friend of Akane's. "You should be ashamed of yourself!" The two then proceeded to beat him up. "A girl wouldn't be caught dead getting a haircut like that!"

"That's right!"

"But I'm equally as guilty," Ryoga said with a sweat drop as he watched Kuno get beaten up. What he didn't know however was that those two always wanted to beat up Kuno, and now that they found a good excuse, they took the chance. And of course, others joined in the beat down. Some stayed back to film the whole thing to post on the website: Kuno's Idiocy! Needless to say its getting awfully good attendance.

And so Ryoga won by default.

* * *

><p>Zhang sneezes,"I'm definitely catching a cold." He looks closely at the kanji. "Ooh Ryoga won! Good thing I bet on him."<p>

Zhang sneezes again,"Where are they? They were supposed to come after the fight. I really need their HELP!"

Zhang is hanging upside down from a Tentacruel.

"Why did I think it was a good idea to make a pokemon portal again?" he screams as the Tentacruel flings him out the baydoors.

* * *

><p>"That was anti-climactic," said the girl otaku.<p>

"It sure was," agreed the otaku boy, "But Kuno still lost."

"Was there ever any doubt?"

Belle noticed that Akane was still in shock. "Akane, darling, it's going to be fine." She grabbed Akane's arm and dragged her away; even if it was traumatic for the youngest of the Tendos, they all couldn't help but sweat drop.

"You don't have to do that!" called out Hikaru.

"How would you even be able to hide your magic if you decide to re-grow her hair?" asked Ranma.

Hikaru was unable to come up with an answer.

Ryoga was still in shock over what he did.

"Are you okay?" asked Chiyo.

Ryoga blushed. "I'm fine…"

* * *

><p>Sometime later…<p>

In the bathroom of the Tendo Residence, Akane managed to regain herself.

"So, what kind of cut do you want?" asked Rarity as she sat with the youngest Tendo sister.

"Just even it out as much as possible."

"It's a good thing it hit where it was tied. Any higher and you'd have to go with a pixie cut." Akane could only sweat drop as a response. "Or do you want Twilight to re-grow it?"

"She can do that?"

"Yes, but you're going to have to lie about how you got it long again."

"No, I was planning on cutting it anyway."

This part was a surprise to Rarity.

In the living room, Fluttershy was cleaning Ryoga's cuts.

"Please don't get into a fight with him again," she pleaded.

"But, the way he was acting…" Ryoga began to protest.

"But there's something wrong with him."

"So he's crazy."

"Let the others handle him. You don't have to do it for me…"

Ryoga looked at the Pegasus and answered, "Okay."

"Oh, that's so sweet!" remarked Pinkie Pie, who happened to be in the room.

Both of them sweat dropped when she said that.

Up in the bathroom, Rarity was finishing up Akane's haircut.

"I see…" said the former as the latter gave a nod. "I guess then I should make you a brand new Akane!"

"No!"

"But if I—"

"No."

"Then how about a new—"

"No…"

"What about—"

"Just a haircut." sighed Akane.

"Fine…" Rarity sighed as well._ I really wanted to give her a full makeover. Then again, Akane's just as tomboyish as Rainbow Dash and Applejack, so I probably shouldn't be surprised._ "At least let me put on a few cute accessories like a hair band or some cute hair pins."

"Fine…but only that!"

"Okay…"

Sometime later, Akane came downstairs and into the living room, earning surprised faces from those who have watched the fight; her hair was much shorter now, barely touching her shoulders. Nobody was surprised how nice it looked, though; after all, it was Rarity who did it.

"It looks cute!" said Pinkie.

"It does," agreed Fluttershy.

Akane looked at Ranma, who knew it was his cue to say something. "It fits you much better than having long hair," he said.

"Thank you," said Akane as she gave a smile.

"Are you sure you don't want me to re-grow your hair?" asked Twilight.

"I'm sure."

"I am so sorry!" said Ryoga as he bowed to her, "I didn't mean for any of that to happen. Please, if you want to hit me…"

Soun Tendo stands up and brings out a sword,"YOU DID THIS TO MY DAUGHTER!" Kasumi calms him down,"It wasn't on purpose."

Akane sighed; she knew he felt guilty over it. And decided to deliver. However, she went a little overboard; Ryoga now lay twitching on the ground, beaten and bruised.

"Ryoga, are you okay?" asked Fluttershy.

"I'm fine!" Ryoga gave a thumbs-up. Soun glares at him from afar.

While Akane did want her haircut, she was a teeny bit resentful that she didn't do it on her own terms. That and she was still a little angry about the time he accidently peeked at her in the bath…

She still had some issues when it came to boys, that was for sure.

* * *

><p>As of unnamed secret base...<p>

Zhang huddles up drinking hot cocoa. He moans miserably,"Where are they!?" The fortified doors shudder again. "Oh, shut up will YA!"

The shuddering stops. Then the booms begin.

Zhang casts another fortifying spell moodily," Why did I make a Vocaloid ripoff using duct-tape again?"

* * *

><p><span><strong>Will the Mane Six ever get into Zhang's carefully crafted base made just for them? Or will they leave him behind with his creations and *sneeze* cold again?<strong>


End file.
